


The New Manager

by Felinis



Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Humor, OCs - Freeform, Post-Game, Self-Insert, crack but serious, crazy bitch is crazy, dumping my soul, ferns, gaint fucking sky whale, i don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 21:16:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 57,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9403142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Felinis/pseuds/Felinis
Summary: She liked to think of herself as the most sensible crazy person she'd ever met. Sure she had a tendency of falling in love faster than you can say "blah blah tidal wave" but she still found she was capable at many things. One of those things was unfortunately not falling in love with (another) swordsman. Journey on a crack selfinsert fic that's 1/2 romance 1/2 ferns.Originally on fanfic.net:





	1. Chapter 1

It wasn't on purpose that she ended up at Brave Vesperia that day. Okay, that was a lie. She'd been walking past the recently purchased old stone building for weeks now debating whether or not she should knock on the door. Each time she mustered the courage to cross the busy road she found her knees would buckle and lose balance in her heels. Each day she would get a little closer to almost taking that first step. It wasn't that hard of a task. All she needed to do was walk up and ask for a job. Simple. Stupidly simple. 

So, why was it so damn hard! It's not as if she hadn't done this before. No. She'd done this a multitude of times. She sighed. And then she sighed again. She muttered bitterly under her breath about her stupidity and began pacing in circles. Then she began to debate with herself whether this was actually worth all the trouble. Probably...not. Yeah. A small guild like this wasn't worth the stress. He wasn't worth the stress. But, she needed a job and at this point there weren't many options. Especially at what happened at the last guild. Ughhhhh.

She looked up from her feet and found herself at that door. And because she lacked that little voice that told her "for the love of Goddess please do not do this again" or "this never ends well and if you just got a normal job or did literally anything else things would not end in disaster" she opened the unlocked door. 

The bell on the top of the door let out a soft ring. She fiddled with the bracelet on her left wrist wondering if there was still time to run away. Readying herself to turn on her heels she was foiled by the loud sound of footsteps. 

Fuck.

"Hold on a minute. I'll be right there." A young man in his early teens ran out from the back of a narrow hallway that likely lead to the living quarters and meeting area. The guild lobby was both very colorful and very sparse. A few wooden chairs sat near the large window overlooking the street and an old oak counter was bolted into the boards near the back. The walls were painted very sporadically with arrays of colors covering what was once white wash. A single landscape of what she believed to be the tree of Halure framed one the walls. There really wasn't much. Still, it was nice and homey in a way. He rushed up to her and held out a gloved hand. "Sorry about that. Everyone's out on jobs right now." She shook the hand a little timidly. "I'm Karol Capel the guild leader. How can I help you miss...?"

"Felinis Feloney."

The boy's face went with a look of 'ah' and he looked closer at her. "Oh, I remember you! You were the girl managing books and stuff when I was in the Black Lotus." Boy, was that a long time ago. She'd been kicked out from there years ago (Admittedly, about a few months after Karol). Maybe she could run back there if she needed to. Then she thought about what happened between her and the guild boss. She shivered inwardly. Yeah, no. Unless that man was dead she was never going back. "How's it been? Black Lotus has been doing pretty well these days."

Terrible. "Fine. Everything's been fine."

"Well, that's good." A pause. "What brings you to Brave Vesperia? "

She swallowed. "Uh, well- you see. I kind of lost my job and I was wondering if you guys were recruiting."

 

Felinis joined Brave Vesperia for the same reason she had joined other guilds. Unfortunately, that reason was shameful and stupid. Sure this time it was more grounded and sensible but…. no. So she sighed and went on with cleaning up the guild hall. Felinis wasn't a fighter. In fact, over all the years she'd lived in Dahngrest Felinis had not once stepped outside the barrier. It made things hard when it came to guild life because the most she could do were city based jobs and guildhall maintenance. Jobs like that weren't usually well paying or in demand. So she was grateful that Brave Vesperia allowed her the luxury of doing odd jobs and handling everything in the front. She swept up the remaining dust on the floor and heard that familiar chime of the door. She looked up to one of the faces she'd grown used to seeing over the past month. "You know; you really should use the back door like everyone else."

"No thanks. Not my style." The dark haired man who stood at the entrance smirked. She could almost feel herself melting. This was why she was here. Felinis was a bit of hopeless romantic. And by that she meant she fell for guys at the drop of the hat. Yuri was no exception. He was perfect! So perfect. Dear god, just let her kiss his snarky lips. "Judy back yet?"

And once more reality sets in. "Oh, yeah. Judith got back a few minutes ago. I think she's upstairs."

He nodded and walked toward the back. "Cool. Any jobs for fighting big monsters come in?"

"Not since yesterday."

"Too bad." And then he was gone and Felinis was left to once more stare out the window and clean. This was pretty much how every conversation went these days. The first week had been a little different. But, now Felinis felt like she was mostly part of the scenery. She understood why. She was a stranger. Yes, the guild was friendly towards her now that they'd gotten used to her, but she still felt like an intruder. An intruder who was admittedly sort of stalking Yuri. The light pouring in from the late afternoon noon sun was nice and Felinis thought that perhaps she should put up a nice plant in the window to help make the place even nicer. She opened one of her many budget books and looked over how much adding a plant would impact the bills. Plants after all, needed space, water and soil. While it probably wouldn't hurt the water bill she still checked. Felinis was a bit of perfectionist when it came to finances. She started muttering over numbers and pondering over different plants to consider. Not one with flowers. They'd likely clash with the walls and give clients the wrong impression if they were too vibrant. Hmm, perhaps a large fern.

"Hey Fel?" Yeah. A fern would be good. Or maybe an herb so they could use it for cooking too. No, too fragrant. Fragrances distract clients. "Fel?" So a fern was probably best. "Fel!" But, what kind? "Hey Fel!"

She jumped as someone touched her shoulder. Eek. And sudden relief. It was just Karol.

"Finally! I've been trying to get your attention for forever. Close up the front and come eat. Yuri made pork cutlets." Pork cutlets. Those were expensive. Food was not cheap since the loss of blastia and meat was one of the costlier items. She'd have to account that in the weekly budget. Sigh.

While the front of Brave Vesperia headquarters was extremely professional looking past the office door where only the most important meetings were held everything became more than just a little casual. The space was filled with walls with maps that apparently the young boss had made during the guild's travels. Some shelves were lined with odd nick-knacks from clients. Some trophies from particularly thrilling fights with monsters. The room that greeted you after entering the hall was a mix between a kitchen and a living room. A large faded orange ugly couch was curled up against one wall along with a coffee table that had seen better days. Towards the center an extending table big enough to sit possibly ten people when brought to its full length sat with a variety of mixed chairs. The kitchen was further toward the back with a log fire stove and brick oven. The counter made of dark stained hardwood extended in a gentle curve toward the table, but left enough space for a few stools to fit in. Next to the pantry door the back door stood as the entrance the guild was supposed to take to get to the living quarters.

The door was an old split door that lead to a decently sized backyard. The backyard itself doubled as a training ground for Yuri and Judith. Upstairs was where all the bedrooms (and one bathroom) were. Karol' s being the largest because he was the boss. Yuri's was the smallest and shared with by a person that Felinis had yet to meet named Raven. Felinis shared a room with Judith or Judy as Yuri called her. There was one extra room that was kept as a spare for guests, but whenever Brave Vesperia got more members they'd need to change that. This wasn't the largest guild headquarters she'd seen, but it certainly was one of the coziest. The whole guild sat around the table as Yuri passed out plates to everyone. She took a seat next to Judith and mentally tried to work out how much dinner was going to cost tonight.

"How much did you pay for the pork?" This was sadly almost a standard question for her to ask. Felinis was constantly convinced that this guild was out to drive her mad with impulse spending. Who just buys a pound of miso and rice?

"Relax Fel. It was only twenty-seven gald." She started writing the math out in her mashed potatoes and practical cried. She'd have to pass on that fern. Not if she wanted to be able to pay for an icebox at some point. That was a luxury that would save on food costs so much. She continued to eat all while debating on how much wanting a fern outweighed wanting other luxuries that month. Maybe her mom was right. She was way too high strung on these things. Everyone was talking and laughing with each other. It was so pleasant just to listen. Especially with Yuri.

God, his voice was sexy. It was a lovely blend of soft and melodious while still being deep and strong. It was like some kind of dark chocolate and coffee flavored parfait with extra whipped cream. Or something. It was just-just- yes. All the yes.

By the time Felinis snapped from her daze she realized the table was empty. Everyone was either going out for the evening or to bed. She washed her plate thoroughly and headed to her room. She needed to sleep. Lots of sleep.

Judith was in there laying on her bed seemingly in thought. "Good to see you finally made it up."

"Yeah. I guess I got caught up in my own thoughts again." Felinis laughed as she changed into her nightgown.

Judith looked at her with that grin that Felinis wasn't sure on whether it was playful or menacing. "What were you thinking about?"

How she'd like to rub butter all over Yuri's gorgeous abs and eat him out while he screamed her name under the soft lighting of the dawning sun on an apple orchard in Hypionia. "Finances. I was thinking about finances."

Judith raised a brow. "Oh?"

Fuck. She had to follow up on this! "I was thinking about how a fern would be nice in the front."

"A fern?" She's not buying it! Double fuck.

"Yes! Ferns! I was thinking about the financial implications of ferns!" Not how Yuri's hair looks like soft silky streams. "I mean ferns can be expensive and the care could impact the water bill." Yes, beautiful black streams of silk. God, she needed therapy. "So many types of ferns to consider!" Or Yuri. "Depending on the type it can have different psychological impacts on our customers' minds and what not. There's a lot to consider." So much therapy. "So much! Maybe too much. Maybe skip ferns all together and get fichus instead! Everyone has ferns these day!" She really hoped Judith had stopped caring by this point.

Judith looked away probably rolling her eyes. "You overcomplicate things." She stretched. "Just do what you want." No she was not. After the last time she'd follow her impulses Felinis had learned that was beyond a terrible idea. There was a reason that in the event they ever met again they had promised each other to run in opposite directions. Felinis didn't even walk on the side of town he frequented. No. It was better she just bode her time.

Besides, knowing her luck Yuri already had a girlfriend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Do you ever just stop and look at how you have 3gb of Yuri Lowell fanart?

"See ya," Fel said as she left to go wherever it was she went on Friday evenings. Everyone gave her a rather dismissive bye as she left and returned back to the game of poker they were playing.

"Hey, guys." Yuri said as he dealt out the cards. "What do you think of Fel? Like seriously?"

Karol picked up his cards and tried his best not to show his hand. But it was obvious the boy had nothing good. "What do you mean?"

"I mean haven't you noticed how… weird she is?" Yuri shuffled the deck and placed it down.

Judith picked her cards up and showed nothing. "She doesn't seem that weird to me. She's just a bit reserved."

Yuri chuckled softly. "That's an understatement." He looked at his cards. Nothing but crap. "All she talks about is work and money." Yuri threw down two chips. "You know, when she actually talks."

Judith raised and Karol and him matched. "She's just shy. I wasn't the most open either."

"That was different." Yuri held onto his deck and hoped Judith was bluffing like him. "You at least talked. Every time I've tried to ask her something she zones out halfway through."

"Yeah, but that was how Fel was when I met her." Karol said folding with a huff. "She always zoned out when anyone would talk to her. And when she did talk it was usually just about work." Karol thought back to the old days before Brave Vesperia. He hadn't been at Black Lotus long (maybe a month or two at most).

They were a mercenary guild that specialized in being body guards for hire. Felinis had already been there working behind the desk balancing books and arranging jobs. She was good at it. That's what everyone always said when it came to why she was around despite her lack of combat skills. And she'd always seemed nervous and jumpy. In a strange way she was also a screw up. Karol hadn't pressed on why she'd lost her job. God knows, he'd been kicked out of so many guilds for so many reasons. Felinis probably had her own for why she came to Brave Vesperia when with her skills she could easily work her way up the ranks in another guild like Fortune's Market.

"It's still weird." Yuri threw down his cards. "Pair of eights! Take that!"

Judith smirked "How frightening. If only I had something bigger than a pair of ones." She placed down her cards revealing two ace cards.

Yuri pouted and put his head on the table. "It's no fun playing you!" He huffed. "You always win!" He looked Judith in the eye, hard. "I swear you're cheating!"

"I'm not cheating." She picked up her winnings. "You just suck." If he was playing anyone else, he'd probably win. But, Judith was a goddess of poker. "Still up for another round?"

"Bring it on!" Judith was already shuffling. The game went on for hours with Yuri and Karol surprisingly able to beat her at times. By the time they finally finished Felinis was already up in bed the trio unaware.

"The old man gets back tomorrow right?" Yuri asked as he put up the cards. Karol gave an affirmative 'yep' with a yawn. "How much you wanna bet he hits on Fel?"

"The real bet is how do you think she'll react." Judith grinned. "Twenty gald says she hits him."

"My money says she ignores him." Fel didn't seem like the kind to notice flirting. Or anything for that matter.

Karol sighed.

Felinis woke up the next morning with a slight hangover. Too much moscato last night. Normally she didn't drink, but Fridays were an exception. She'd gone to the Yuri Lowell fan club that met once a week in a small bar in the far west side of town called the Hole. The fan club had started some time back when the word got around in Dahngrest that Yuri Lowell had been the one to save the world (along with his guild). Sure the official word from the empire was that the commandant and the princess saved the world, but the people who'd been in Aurnion had spread the truth.

Besides, fuck the empire.

Yuri'd become something of a celebrity and girls (and boys) had come to think of him as a kind of prize. He was the sexy bad boy hero that everyone (and yes everyone. Don't deny it!) wanted. Now, Felinis herself wasn't there for the same shallow reason as they were. No she was there for another completely shallow reason.

Last year when the barrier had blown out and monster poured into the city Felinis had been…well, she'd been stalking her obsession at the time Boris. She just wanted to make sure that his girlfriend was actually worthy of his perfection. When the barrier broke and monsters poured in she was terrified. She'd fallen to the ground in fear unable to move. They were so large. So many. When she was younger and more reckless she might have tried to actually fight, but then as she was… She'd been stone.

But, there he was. Yuri fighting with his hair in the wind beating down monsters with thrill. It was beautiful. She'd been stoned for another reason now. Even with the fear she found herself enraptured by this man's fighting. In all the noise and chaos, she barely registered the threat that was about to dive on her until he'd practically jumped out of the sky bringing a giant bird like monster down with him.

"Are you alright?" his voice was beautiful. She'd nodded. "Good. Now get out of here." She ran. At the time Felinis had known nothing about him other than his gorgeous face. So she continually walked back and forth through the place she had met her mystery man. She finally saw him again during the Don's passing. It hadn't been a time for her crushes. Felinis was mourning the Don's death as well, but she saw him across the street and followed for a while till she heard his name. Yuri.

Even his name was pretty.

Felinis had tried her hardest to find out more about him. She asked everyone in that part of town who Yuri was. Most had nothing to say other than he was traveling with the screw up. When the barrier blastia fell and the rumors flooded in Felinis knew what she had to do. Or at least what she wanted.

It was selfish of her. Felinis wanted him. Not because of anything she knew about him personally, but because she fell for his grace. And the more she learned the more she fell for his strength. She'd fallen for everything, but him. And now that she was with him she found herself falling for his personality.

But, courage was not something she was good at. It was why Felinis was more comfortable just watching him. At the fan club she could drink and fantasize with others just like her.

"Fuck," Felinis muttered as she pushed out her long curly strands of brown hair from her eyes. "Why do morning have to start so fucking early?" She looked to the side and saw that Judith was gone. How late was it? The sun was already shining bright through the window on Judith's side. It had to be late. She walked to the window to gaze at the backyard. She yawned and scratched her ass like real ladies do. Yuri and Judith were out there sparring. She smiled and watched.

Gorgeous. A beautiful dance between two sparring gods to the delicate song of the cosmic universe… or something. She scratched her ass again and smelled her armpit. Oh god, she reeked from the booze. She grabbed one of her dresses, a pale knee length and puffed sleeved lilac one with a silver sash and embroidery along with her matching heals with lace around the collar of the shoe. She marched to the bathroom. A nice bath would help.

While she sat in the bath she began to fantasize again.

Yuri's hair drenched in water as he sat naked in the bath. Beads of water dripping down slowly from his collarbone to his pectorals. Running down those sculpted abs towards his navel till it reached the bath water. His stretched body lying in the tub as he leaned his head back. His eyes closed and mouth slightly agape in relaxation. His skin reddened from the hot water and steam. So steamy. So hot.

Ah, yes beautiful.

Knock, knock

"Felinis? You in there?" it was Judith.

She snapped from her daze spilling water on the floor. "Uh, yeah."

"Hurry up in there. I need to take a bath." Judith was probably leaning on the wall. "I worked up a sweat while fighting. Ugh, if I don't take a bath soon I think I'll die." How dramatic.

"Right." Felinis scrubbed down one last time and rushed out of the tub. She dressed herself up and tied on a silver ribbon around her neck. She ruffled her wet hair. It was a curly mess and no force on earth would change that. She walked out in a rush and did her best to straighten her skirt. "Sorry about the wait."

Judith looked at the full tub. "If you were washing up you should have just said so." She strode in and pulled Felinis along with her. "I could have waited if you just told me." She closed the door. "Come on, you couldn't have possibly soaked long enough."

"Uh no! It's fine" Felinis squealed and Judith started to strip her.

"Come on! If you don't take care of your skin your beauty will fade before your thirty." Shut up BoobsMgee! Beauty is fleeting! Judith had already got her dress off and pushed her into the tub. "And won't bathing together save on the water bill." Felinis glared at her. Judith was using her own logic against her. "Why don't we do some female bonding?" She felt like she was being blackmailed.

"I think I hate you." Felinis glared at her as removed her soaking underwear.

"That's too bad." Judith slipped out of the small amount of clothing she wore and slid in. It was a tight squeeze. "I really would like to get to know you." Yeah, well Felinis didn't want to get to know her. If Judith found out about her problem, then Felinis would die of embarrassment. Wait, was Judith dating Yuri? The two got along really well and Judith was hot. Felinis wasn't gay, but by god did she just want to squeeze Judith's breast for hours. They float! She looked at them in the bath. They were practically floatation devices. Yuri would be a fool to deny this luscious body. Felinis grabbed Judith's breast and squeezed it.

"Why are these so perfect!" Felinis screamed and Judith laughed. "It's not funny! These boobs are perfect and I hate them!" She laughed harder. "Stop mocking me!" Felinis squeezed again. "This is the perfect squeeze. Not too soft and not too firm." Felinis knew hers were too soft. "How do you reach such heights of boobage."

Judith finally wasn't amused with this and took Felinis's hand away. "I know. I'm blessed." Judith took the bar of soap and started to wash herself. "I'm sorry if my divine body keeps us from being friends." She was mocking her. Felinis turned her back on BoobsMgee. "If you want I can give some of my secrets."

Felinis looked over her shoulder, face scrunched up in a scowl. "What are you doing? Like actually doing?" This whole thing was beyond suspicious. "We've spent a whole month living together with the mutual understanding of being indifferent towards each other. And now you've suddenly pulled me into the bath and are acting like we're friends."

"Aren't you the one who decided to just jump straight to second base?" BoobsMgee smirked.

"Don't try and change the subject."

"I really do just want to get to know you. And like you said we've known each other a month and we've barely talked." This was a secret communist plot, wasn't it? "So tell me anything you want."

Felinis raised a brow.

Judith let out a small huff and leaned back as far as she could. "Fine. I'm patient."

They relaxed in silence and Felinis let out a sigh. "Hey Judith?"

She could feel the Krytian grin. "Yes?"

"Would you like to go shopping sometime?"

"Sure. Your wardrobe could use some improvement."

Felins snapped around. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Pastels are not your color."

"I like pastels!"

"Then at least get ones that match your skin tone better."

"How 'bout you get something that doesn't expose all of your cleavage."

"Sure. Only if you drop the pastels."

"Never!"


	3. Skits 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Hi everyone. I really wanted to put in the effort to upload a chapter a week, but due to hurricane problems that's not gonna happen. I'm gonna be behind on school work for a week probably. So for now enjoy some skits and the knowledge that I will never get the joy of owning Berseria because I lack a console to play it on.

_-Welcome To The Guild-_

_All guild members are present except for Raven._

Karol: Awesome! Now, that you're sworn in you've become an official member of Brave Vesperia!

Felinis: Thank you for letting me join!

Judith: It's good to see the guild growing. Tell me, Felinis what made you decide to join Brave Vesperia?

Yuri: I'd like to know too.

Karol: Yeah, why?

_Felinis's skit box shakes._

Felinis: Reasons. Just various reason.

Judith: Reasons?

Felinis: Yes! Reasons!

Yuri: What sort of reasons?

_Felinis's box shrinks downward on the screen._

Felinis: Umm... personal and financial reasons.

 

_-Book Balancing-_

_Karol's skit is the only one on screen. He's humming peacefully to himself._

Felinis: Ahhhhhhh!

_Felinis's skit head comes running in and bumps into Karol._

Karol: Hey, what's wrong?

_Felinis's full skit body appears which is her clutching her head in frustration._

Felinis: This is a disaster! How have you people been managing? These books are a mess!

Karol: I didn't think I was doing that bad.

Felinis: These are some of the worst books I've ever seen!

Karol: R-really?

Felinis: Not to fear! When I'm finished here these books will be so well organized that you'll be able to track every gald!

Karol: I don't think you need to go that far.

Felinis: No! I refuse to let a single gald go unaccounted for. My pride as a manager won't allow it! Now, first I need to track the water bill... then I'll need to make a more efficient food budgeting system since there's no icebox...

 

_-No Nicknames!-_

Yuri: Hey, Fel dinner's ready.

Felinis: Fel?

Yuri: Yeah it's catchy.

Felinis: Can you just use my full name?

Yuri: Why not?

Felinis: I just don't like nicknames.

Yuri: Fine. Whatever you want, Fel.

_Yuri's skit face goes offscreen._

Felinis: I said no nicknames! Are you even listening? Ughh, why does he have to be so dreamy?!

 

_-Not a Lover and Certainly Not a Fighter-_

Judith: Felinis I noticed you don't have a weapon. Might, I ask what's your preferred fighting method?

Felinis: Oh, I don't fight.

Judith: Really?

Felinis: Yeah, I'm not much of a fighter.

Judith: Have you ever been in a fight?

Felinis: No, but before the Adephagos fell I knew a few healing artes. Since there aren't any blastia anymore though it's pretty pointless.

Judith: That's too bad. I was hoping we could fight each other.

Felinis: That sounds like a terrible idea.

 

_-Fel's fine-_

Yuri: Fel any big monster fighting jobs come in?

Felinis: I thought I told you to call me Felinis.

Yuri: But it's such a mouthful.

Felinis: It's not even ten letters!

Yuri: There's too many sounds.

Felinis: But, my names not Fel.

Yuri: I guess I'll call you Nis then.

Felinis: That's even worse!

Yuri: Take your pick, Nis.

Felinis: _*Huff*_ Fine. Fel it is then.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: SOooooo apparently I have school off for a week because of the hurricane. I guess I have ample fanfic writing time. I can only imagine how crazy homework will be when I get back.

Felinis sighed and leaned against the hallway outside the bathroom. That was emotionally draining.

"We should do that again sometime." Judith said as she left Felinis to lean on the wall. No they should not! She'd spent too long soaking and now was behind on getting to work. Plus, she was hungry and possibly still a little hungover. Felinis trotted into the kitchen where Karol was eating eggs at the bar. How late was it?

"Morning."

Karol looked her way and mumbled out a 'hi' through his teeth. "Glad you're up. We didn't get to tell you last night, but remember Raven?"

Yes, and no. Felinis had a certain sense of object permanence that made it hard to remember things that were not in front of her unless she focused on them. It hilariously meant that while she knew Yuri's name she'd struggled to remember Karol's and Judith's for a long time. "Of course." Lies! All lies!

"Well, he's coming back today! In fact, he should be arriving by this afternoon." Felinis just smiled and nodded. Just pretend to know what to do. That's how she had done everything up to that point so why stop now? "So you'll get to finally meet him." Now, she would ask a question to make it seem like she understood what was going on. She started to fix herself a strange concoction for her hangover.

"Why was he gone for so long?" Felinis started pouring in the water and crotons in her cup.

Judith walked into the living room area and sat on the couch. "He took up a very important job for us in Mantaic." Some fresh squeezed peach juice.

Mantaic? All the way in Desier. That was a long way for a job. Brave Vesperia did mostly mercenary work but was generally a 'do anything guild'. Whatever this Roxy guy (or whatever his name was) had been doing had probably been important. Or at least well paying. Nordopolica was already a two week trip by boat now that blastia no longer powered motors. Perhaps, it had been a delivery job? That reminded her she needed to go over the mission travel expenses. She finished pouring in the soy sauce and honey.

Karol snorted. "Yeah, very important." Okay, so it wasn't actually important. Then, was this guy was just a grunt? But, the guild was way too small for that. Now, to put in a tea bag. Ooh, she still had earl gray.

"What's he like?" Good work, avoid mentioning the name to hide fatal flaws. Was his name Ralph? No. Maybe it was Raptor? Yeah that sounded about right. She wondered if he was beautiful and badass like Yuri. Or maybe he was cool and noble? She started mixing the glass.

The two looked at each other with silent understanding. She wished she could do that. "Raven's just Raven." Was the young teens response. Raven! That was the name! She placed a mint leave on top of her glass.

"I think you should see for yourself." Felinis took a sip of her concoction and smiled. Many would call this vomit inducing she on the other hand believed it to be a magical potion of flavor. Felinis could already feel her hangover leave her.

The guild mates themselves weren't exactly sure what they thought of the drink. On the one hand, Judith knew hangover cures were weird on the other well... even then it seemed bizarre. Karol just found it gross. But, he'd seen her make one every Saturday, although never the same ingredients twice so maybe something was palatable. Yuri had never seen Felinis' s cures and she hoped it stayed that way. She did not want him to think she was creepy or gross. And to keep that from happening she took her beverage to her room.

Yuri walked in smelling of sweat from his workout with a large grin. His shirt open more than usual to expose his man cleavage. If Felinis had been there to see it she would have had to put in a valiant effort to hide the fact she creamed her pants. "Man, I need a real fight!" Repede followed behind and gave a affirmative 'woof'. He grabbed a peach that was left on the counter and took a large bite. "We should head to Nordopolica for the hundred man melee soon. There's just been no challenge lately."

"I agree. Lately nothing's been all that hard." Judith said as she listened to her Entelexia friend's calls in the distance. "Looks like the old man will be here in a few hours."

Yuri splashed some water from the sink onto his face and ran his wet hands threw his hair. It was a shame Felinis missed this. "Damn. It was so nice bunking solo." It was one of the downsides of their small guild home. Yuri missed the days of having a room all to himself, but with the guild only being able to afford a fairly small house they had to resort to sharing for the most part. Karol had insisted that he and Yuri share a room but the dark haired swordsman insisted that a leader slept in his own room. This unfortunately meant that Yuri was forced to share with the old man. Thankfully, Raven had yet to bring home a girl while Yuri was around or anything worse. Still, there was always something irksome in just the idea of a roommate.

"But, it'll be nice to see him again." Karol chirped.

"I'm changing my bet." Judith said and Yuri raised a brow with an 'oh?'. "Forty gald."

Felinis spent the whole rest of the morning cleaning the guildhall from top to bottom. It was a silly thing to do in most of the others eyes since she pretty much kept it spotless, but Felinis believed in cleaning in thorough detail at least once a week. Plus, it would be nice for that Remy guy to come home to a clean home. She always thought that was a treat. Besides, the place had been a bit of a mess before. The people in this guild were sort of slobs.

On weekends the office was closed to everything except for prearranged meetings giving her the chance to clean up and do things for herself. It also let her go over the books again. She was about to finish her final sweep of the front. Felinis puffed her cheeks and looked out the window. They really needed a plant. Maybe she should just get some flowers? But, she hated that idea. It would be so tacky! A fern! Ferns would be perfect.

_Ring_

"Sorry. We're closed for today, but if you leave a form in the request box we'll be sure to get back to you." Felinis said as she turned to the door and inwardly screamed. Shady!

The man who walked in was beyond shady looking!

Dark tan skin with messy (and probably greasy) hair tied back into a ponytail and a face that clearly had never acquainted itself with a proper shave. His clothes didn't look that bad but something about the way the man looked and walked pricked the hairs on her neck. "Well, well. Never seen you round her before." The man eyed at her.

Shady.

She did her best to calm herself inwardly. He's probably just a customer. Bet he just didn't read the sign. But, wait wasn't the door locked? That means he broke in? Oh my god! He was a serial killer after them all! And she foolishly had been in the front like a lamb to the slaughter. Now, she was going to die and never get to have her ideal sexual fantasy come to fruition. Why couldn't Judith be here? He'd go for first because she was prettier and would give Felinis more time to escape.

Wait! She had a broom. Sure the man had a knife and a bow from what she could see, but she could easily beat him with a blunt instrument if needed. All she had to do was make him not suspicious. And kick him in the balls with her heels. That usually worked. He was smiling at her while likely thinking about what was the best was to split her guts open and put them on display and then ravage her body. Sick freak! "What's your name darlin?" He said it so sweet. At trick to lure in unsuspecting victims! Well, jokes on him Felinis was not that dumb (but by god did she jump to conclusions)!

He was getting closer. "Felinis Feloney." She quivered. Fool! Why had she not given him an alias? He was closer.

"Nice to meet ya! You're a real sight for these sore eyes."

He's a madman! Kill him now!

Felinis started screaming and swinging her broom wildly in rage at the man. The shady man ducked back and forth dodging her broom. A tough opponent! But, she would protect her life (and maybe the guild) at all costs.

_Swoosh_

"Hey!"

_Swoosh_

"What's the deal here?" The man kept moving out the way and it frustrated her.

_Swoosh_

"Calm down!"

_Swoosh_

"Look just stop and we'll talk this out!"

Felinis stopped.

"Thank yo-"

_TWHACK!_

The man fell to the floor and Felinis felt pride at her enemy take down. A low whistle came from the hallways and she looked to find all of Brave Vesperia staring at her. "My, my. That was impressive." Judith said with a grin and crossed her arms. "I thought you said you didn't fight?"

"I may not understand how to fight, but I definitely know how you should beat people up with the nearest blunt object." Felinis huffed still catching her breath. She looked at her broom. "Aw, I think I cracked it!" She took a closer look at everyone's face. "Um, a creepy murderer just broke in so why do you guys looks so happy."

"The old man is creepy, but calling him a murder is a bit much." Yuri said kicking at the shady man's unconscious body. "Man, I didn't think you had it in you Fel." She was flushed at the praise.

"Wait... if he's not a killer then..." She smacked herself. "Please, don't tell me I just beat up a fellow guild member?"

Karol laughed awkwardly to try and ease the situation. "Yeah, that's Raven."

"If it makes you feel better he is as creepy as he looks." Judith said. Why would that make her feel better?

"And now we know that Fel is a beast with a broom." Karol chimed in. Ah, yes. Praise her mighty broom slaying powers that all shall now fear the wrath of (and note the heavy sarcasm underlying her inner monologue). "Seriously, don't sweat it. It was just an accident." It was not an accident in her mind when she accidently did almost the same to Yuri (twice). She'd caught herself that time. "But what he do to freak you out?"

"Exist." Was all she said. Maybe tonight Felinis would make an extra special dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Funny story, but one time I did almost attack my stepdad when he was coming home late one night with a wooden sword because I thought he was a serial killer after my head. Thankfully, I realized he was not a dangerous psychopath before I could hit him. I'd like to say that was the only time that's happened but I've nearly attacked several people who live in my home just because they didn't announce who they were after they entered. Remember kids unless you're an axe murderer out to slaughter a family always announce who you are when you come home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Or maybe not. Parental drama and homework shall consume my soul. I honestly have no idea why I spent so much time thinking about dead chickens. To the people reading this I commend you for withstanding my cheese. Like this is some serious limburger.

Felinis placed a wet rag on Raven's head. She sort of felt guilty, but not really. Guilt was for people who didn't secretly enter the rooms of their obsessions and roll in their beds. This was the least she could do. Judith leaned against the wall. She hadn't stopped her smug grin and Felinis wanted so badly to disappear. "You don't need to worry about him."

Felinis raised a brow. "I'm not worried about him." She looked back to her victim and twiddled her thumbs. "I'd just like him to forgive me when he wakes." The last thing she needed was a lawsuit.

"Oh, there's no need to worry."

"You sure?"

"Positive. He usually forgives pretty girls." Ah, he was one of those.

She felt her eyes go wide. " You think I'm pretty?"

"Of course." Felinis did her best to hide her embarrassment by facing Raven. She wasn't pretty. Nor was she ugly. She'd always been cute. Just cute.

Sexy, gorgeous, and beautiful were words for women like Judith. Pretty was for the girls who were just shy of that or were not seductresses. Cute was for those like Felinis who never looked their age and reminded people of small animals. She was still mistaken for a twelve-year-old at times.

Cute was frustrating. Cute made her the human equivalent of a small dog to people. Cute didn't become pretty till age thirty. Calling her pretty felt like a joke. Felinis was cute. Adorable even. And it fucking sucked. But, she resigned herself to it.

The figure on the couch groaned and Felinis stood up. She was ready to kiss ass and save face. Raven's marine eyes crawled open and slowly looked toward Felinis. They lingered a moment before he bolted upright and moved away from her as much as he could without leaving the couch. Raven was probably in self-defense mode now. She didn't blame him. "What? No broom this time?"

"Ummm… look… I…" She swallowed a deep breath. "I'm sorry that I mistook you for a serial killer who broke into our guild hall to dismember are bodies and lay our organs out in artistic fashions because you looked really shady and came in through the front door which was locked making me think you had to be a serial killer or at least a thief making my self-preservation kick in so I beat you up." _Breath._ "While in hindsight I really shouldn't have jumped to conclusions about you making my intestines to a scarf that while very lovely did not go with your outfit, but would probably look very lovely on Judith." _Breath._ "But, really anything would look lovely on Judith have you seen her gorgeous body it's incredible! I bet she could make muumuus look hot if she wore them. Have you ever seen a muumuu? They're ugly and just imagine if they were made out of human skin? Hopefully nobody would do that like I thought you were going to." _Breath._ "I'm Felinis nice to meet you Raven."

She held out her hand and gave a large grin. Smooth. Very smooth. This is why she shouldn't be allowed to speak. Felinis waited for any response the man would have. _Any._ To her surprise Raven pulled her into a large hug engulfing her. "Awe! You're so funny." Why did people always say that? "Where'd this cutie come from, Judith darlin?" Of course, she was a cutie. Now let go before Felinis was forced to bite his arm off.

"Oh, she wondered in off the streets while you were gone." Judith smiled and pat Felinis's fluffy head. She really hated Judith. "Isn't she adorable?" That's it! Everything goes boom!

Felinis broke free from Raven's grasp and slowly sidestepped away from the two. "I'm going to go shopping for dinner." She trotted over to the kitchen and hoped that nobody followed.

Raven leaned back on the couch and grinned slyly. "So she just 'showed up'?" He dropped his voice to keep the manager in the kitchen from overhearing. Felinis though was too preoccupied looking over the budget and what was in the pantry.

Judith sat down on the couch on the other end. "Why yes."

"Hmm." He stroked his chin. "Funny. I could swear I saw her walking around here for a long time. It's hard for us old people to forget a pretty girl." Raven did his best to sneak his arm around Judith only to have a shoulder in his rib. So, close and yet so far. "What kind of girl is she?" The real meaning lay underneath and unsaid.

_Is she a threat?_

"She's very quiet and for the most part. I wouldn't worry about her." Judith said. "All she's done so far is manage the budget and schedule jobs for everyone. If she's trouble she's nothing we can't handle."

"Felinis Feloney? She mention anything about being a member of Curious Cat?" Raven asked. He could swear he'd heard her name before in an explorer's guild.

"No. But, Karol said he knew her from when he was in Black Lotus." The gears in Judith's head started turning. The two figured they'd have to keep an eye on the girl.

"Either way she's got a mean swing." Raven sourly rubbed the sore on the back of his head.

Felinis looked over the pantry and sighed. Dinner would have to be meat, potatoes, and some sort of greens. So, she'd need to buy everything but the potatoes. Felinis grabbed a shopping bag from the pantry and exited out the back door with a smile. The market would probably be closing soon and around this time of day only cheap cuts were left which would serve them fine.

Guilds in Dahngrest tended to huddle themselves close to each other so it wasn't uncommon for guilds to be side by side each other or even to have a whole street full of them. Because of this markets tended to be just outside guild zones. Felinis had frequented these markets her whole life and knew which places had the best deals. It was one of the few things she was proud of. The southwestern market was the best place meat and that would be the most expensive. The current events and small talk she'd made with farmers told her that beef was right out. Chicken would be there best bet. She'd been counting the funds and if all went well they'd be able to have an icebox in the guild by next month.

Maneuvered her way through the wide yet bustling streets of Dahngrest with skill only a local could master to the market way. She kept her step brisk as she weaved towards a butcher's stall. If one was smart (and poor) in Dahngrest they'd buy from stalls rather than shops. The meat shops were almost all managed by the butcher's guild and never varied in price and certainly never haggled. The same went for almost all stores. Sure, there was a certain quality guaranteed when buying from guilds, but buying from the stalls allowed for more wiggle room. Felinis worked hard to make sure they could eat meat almost every night. That was no small feat. If they bought from shops, then it was very likely the guild would have trouble affording to eat meat even once a week.

The man behind the counter was a strong individual whose job allowed him to be well-fed. He had dark thick messy hair cropped short and a grin that never faltered. A typical Dahngrest man. Felinis had known this man since she was a little (but considering how short she was one could say she was still). He was an old family friend and a nice man. He wasn't a professional butcher or even a hunter. Just a farmer who sold his wares here. Farming guilds were all for friendly competition. "There you are!" He grinned wide and Felinis felt herself relax. "I was wondering when you'd stop by."

She looked at the meat hanging from the stall and eyed one of the chickens. "Sorry. I got caught up in work." Not that one.

"Yeah. How's it treating you." He followed her eyes.

She focused on the meats hanging in the back. "Everything's fine. What kind of prices am I looking at today, Jeff?"

Jeff snorted. "Sorry to say, but today I can't skimp on the prices."

Felinis crossed her arms. "What happened?"

He sighed and looked tired. "Monsters." His face looked so old. "Pack of wolves tore right through the fences. They wrecked almost a third of the west side farms."

"Oh no."

"The guilds covering repair costs and hiring more guards, but nothing can be done about the damage."

This was the hardship faced now that there weren't blastia. Food became scarce and water had to be boiled. Battles had higher casualties and injuries. Everyone right now was already starting to can months early to stock up for the coming winter. Everything became more expensive and it couldn't be helped. Felinis wasn't exactly sure why the governments threw out blastia, but she was certain it was for a good cause. Yuri and his friends wouldn't have thrown away such necessities if it hadn't been necessary. "Did you tell Altosk?"

Jeff scowled and slammed his hands on the counter. "Yeah! And all they did was throw some damn gald at us! What goods that gonna do? We can't eat fucking gald!" And there was the hardest truth about losing blastia. Farmland had to fight off monsters and nature now. People at times already had trouble eating before blastia were lost. Now, soup kitchens were a more common sight and people got skinnier and skinnier. Mages were left practically worthless and fighting now truly depended on strength. In the end gald was worthless. It was merely minted currency and people couldn't eat it no matter how starved they were.

"How bad were you hit?" She asked.

The steam in his head finally cooled and Jeff slumped his shoulders. "Enough to bitch slap our wheat harvest. We'll have to rely on the other crops." That would hurt them, but Felinis was certain their resilience would pull through. She'd have to stock on bread. "Thankfully, the orchards were okay and our livestock was left pretty much untouched..." Jeff' s eyes widened in realization at his last statement. "You bitch."

Felinis bat her eyes and twisted her mouth into a smug grin "I prefer to think of myself as a fiendish cat. Don't worry I'll pay a fair price."

He wasn't amused. "Your idea of fair is very far from mine."

"Just give me that chicken you have hanging in the back." Felinis pointed to one of the scrawny hens hanging up. "Not that one. What do you take me for? An idiot." She gestured to the chicken two to the right. It looked the same as the others, but Felinis knew that of all the hens hanging this one had the most meat. "That one. How much?"

"I was gonna charge thirty-five gald for it, but knowing you, you'll talk me down to twenty." Jeff placed the chicken on the counter and Felinis looked at it more closely.

She held the chicken in her hand and bit her lip. "I want to hold the one on the farthest left." Jeff complied and Felinis compared the weight. "I'm taking this one." She gestured to the first chicken. From the way it felt it had a better meat to bone ratio. "And I'm not heartless enough to force you to lose that much. I'll pay twenty-three. Take it or leave it." When hardship struck a farm, no one tried to con the farmer. It was bad luck and bad manners.

"You're lucky you're cute." Felinis handed him the money with a smile. Okay, so cute didn't always suck. "By the way your Mom's been wondering about you."

"Oh, no." Felinis face palmer herself with the hand holding the dead chicken. "What's it this time?"

"She's wondering why you changed guilds." At least she wasn't asking about why she wasn't married yet.

"Give her the usual excuse." She sighed.

"Fine. I'll tell her your 'free spirit' got caught in the breeze and now needs new ground." He chortled. Felinis glared at him bitterly. "You're as 'free spirited' as a rock."

"Shut up!" Felinis stormed away waving her chicken in the air.

The rest of the shopping went on uneventfully. Thank fucking God. So, Mom found out. She could hear the lecture now. "Blah, blah, life choices. Blah, blah, blah, wasted potential. Blah, blah, blah, I'll never have grandkids." For some reason Mom forgets that Felinis is not an only child. But, her brother had long since married his lady science. If he had any kids they'd be grown in tubes and promptly dissected. "Blah, blah, where did I go wrong?" Felinis had her life together! She had a job and knew how to take care of herself and for the most part she was happy. At least when she wasn't wracked with emotional turmoil brought on by years of feeling inadequate in her existence. Besides those days she was fine. Perfectly fine.

She arrived back at the guild hall relieved. It was then Felinis noted that she was still clutching the dead chicken by its headless neck. God, she must have looked silly carrying this while buying the rest of the groceries. She announced her arrival out clearly for everyone to hear. This way everyone would know she wasn't a murder and could set an example for everyone. Felinis set to work on dinner. Karol had mentioned something about meeting with a person named Nan as for the rest they could be anywhere.

Settling on the idea that she was all alone Felinis set to work on cooking dinner. She might as well. She didn't have much better to do. As she prepped the chicken her mind went to the places it always went. She gave into fantasies of far off lands and fairy tales. Of dashing princes and demons of hell. Of all the things Felinis didn't have the courage to do herself. And then she wandered back to where it all went wrong. Had it really been eight years since that day? Had she really been hopping around guilds for that long? Had it really been that long since she first started running from him? Felinis didn't want to admit it, but these days she was running from several people. He was just the one she feared the most. She looked at the thin glass beaded bracelet on her wrist. The small bell on it rang with each miniscule movement as a reminder.

She could never return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Why do I exist? Why I am I such trash?


	6. Butter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Today's chapter is being replaced with a lecture on how to make butter. Many people are unaware of the importance of butter and buttering and I hope to educate people on butter.

It should be noted that butter was crafted originally from sheep and goats milk as we had yet to domesticate cows. This is because cows wanted to eat their own butter because they're selfish assholes. Cows are all just a bunch of gooby goober nummy nuts. That's why we enslaved the cows. And because cats told us to. Cats tell us how to do everything.

Like make butter.

Butter itself is made from the tears of cow tits. We harvest these by teasing the tits till they cry. Once we tease the tits enough and have gathered enough tears to fill a bucket we begin the butter making process. Tit tears must be turned thoroughly and whipped so that the fat in tears hardens into a solid form. Tear fat is very nutritious and a vital part of human society. To whip the tit tears, you must make sure to twerk the milk with a twerking pole. Remember to twerk at first and then move to a gyrating motion. The more you gyrate on the pole the firmer the butter becomes. If your hips get store then bend your knees, use your arms!

Once the butter has churned abandon it like a soon to be dead car baby and only remember to return in time to save the kid (and butter) from heat stroke. Then hump that butter dry again until you've got blister! The butter at this point is really just solid cream and has no flavor because like an idiot you forgot to give it any.

No need to worry!

Just squeeze them titties and repeat step one. Only this time once you have your bucket put in some flavors. Make it gravy flavored for all I care! Make it taste like fish! How 'bout oregano? Maybe pot butter is your thing? Beaver? Maybe it tastes like Flynn!

Mmmhmm, Mmmhmm! Flynn butter. Looks like we know what Yuri spreads on his toast.

Now, that we've made our butter let's talk about proper spreading techniques. When lathering up your item in butter it's best for it to be at room temperature so it spreads easier. Cold butter is hard. Also, you really don't need to keep it in your frig. Much like unless you wash your eggs you don't actually need to refrigerate them. This does not apply at all if you live in the USA because the eggs are pre-washed. Make sure you use a flat edge knife like a butter knife and rub back and forth in a swishing manner. Rub the butter in till there's enough to be satisfied with. Remember you can use butter on just about anything, but be sure it's evenly spread. Improper spreading makes for uneven texture and flavor which can be an unpleasant sensation.

This has been a lecture about butter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: A real chapter will be up soon. I'm not sure what this is.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: I'd told you there'd be one soon. Now for a chapter with 70% less butter.

"Another Round!"

The slamming of flagons of amber beer hitting the counter resounded from the three individuals at the bar. The noise itself was lost in the crowd, but the onlookers watching on cheered. The crowd itself was fixated on three people at the bar caught in a drinking contest.

"Slow down Judith darlin." The scruffy regular gasped as he finished downing his glass. "This old man can't keep up." Raven clutched his chest dramatically and Yuri snorted.

"I forget, but is that your fourth or fifth beer?" He said pulling his lips from the rim.

Raven leaned back and drank from his refilled glass. "Sixth. But, really who's counting?" Yuri was still on his fourth. He'd learned the hard way that if wanted to stay in the race he had to keep to a slightly slower pace.

Leave it to Judith to be on her seventh already and not even look tipsy. The only way Yuri could pick up on her buzzed state was her lax posture and slight flush in her cheeks. "Come on ladies try and keep up." She laughed and her tipsy state became just a bit more obvious.

Yuri finished his glass and set for another one with a grin. This was a sort of tradition they'd started together for when one of them went away on a long job. It had been Judith' s idea and one of her best even if it was expensive. The upbeat music from the man at the piano filled his ears. It was a good show tonight. Yuri never had the luxury before to go to bars and inns that could afford entertainment till recently. Entertainment was expensive and nobody in the Lower Quarter wasted money on it. He smiled and took a large sip of beer. Yuri wasn't much for drinking, but when he did he enjoyed the hell out of himself.

Raven turned in his stool so he could better watch the woman dancing on the stage. "This old man is gonna tap that." He didn't even look fazed.

"Pft. Please. The only thing you ever tap is the beer." Yuri smirked and looked on at the lovely redheaded woman. Ah, the pleasures of men.

Raven playfully feigned pain. "Oh, pot its kettle. He says you're black."

Judith rolled her eyes. Boys.

Yuri glared and slammed his finished flagon on the counter. "I don't need to go after every piece of ass that walks by. Unlike some I have taste."

"Funny, real funny kid." Raven glared as he took another glass. "I'll have you know I'm a boob man." And then he put on his serious game face. "Besides, with your looks aren't you the one getting tapped?"

Judith grinned widely and took a sip of her beer. 'He we go again.'

Yuri felt the alcohol and anger bubble in his stomach. "Oh, sorry old man. I guess we can't be sugar daddies."

That was new. Yuri's last response was a wrinkled eggplant with commitment issues.

Raven leaned forward to glare at Yuri straight in the eye. "And I guess we all can't be pretty women."

And now Yuri was leaning forward and glaring. Judith looked on with slight disinterest. Would they just make out or fight, already? They continued to stare and down their drinks.

The alcohol kicked in and two burst out laughing. They erupted in fits of giggles and downed more beer. Yuri laughed so hard he fell from his stool and stood back up. Twelve beers was usually around the point he got drunk. Raven had to be well on his way to being at fifteen beers in. Judith had already downed eighteen and it was only now starting to show.

"Judy! We should dance!" Yuri cheered as he sipped more from his glass. He grabbed at Judith's arm and tried to pry her from her seat.

She smiled. "You must be really gone tonight." Yuri wasn't much for dancing.

He pouted and grabbed Raven arm. "Come on, you dance with me!" He was now trying to force both from the bar.

Raven chuckled a little. "Yuri you're drunk. Go home."

"No I'm not!" He whined and looked at his empty glass. "Another!"

Normally, Judith would have complied with her friend's wishes and let the swordsman drink himself silly, but Yuri was a loose cannon when it came to how well he'd hold his liquor. Some days he'd drink everyone under the table others he got tipsy after a few drinks. The Krytian had learned to judge when it was best to get out. When Yuri entered the whiny drunk phase, it was best to leave before he got violent. She stopped and calmly diffused him and nudged for Raven to pay for the drinks.

The two were a little shocked at the price. It was much higher than expected and they barely managed to cover it with the gald they had on hand. No more drinks for a while. Judith and Raven guided an intoxicated Yuri back home with a few difficulties, but managed.

Felinis sat at the table furious. Nobody was here except her and the dog. Dinner plates sat cold and uneaten except for hers and the Repede's. It was late and she'd been waiting for people to show up for hours now. The sun had set and the candle she lit was already a stub. Why was no one here? If they were all going out they could have said something rather than have her waste money on a meal nobody would eat. Except the dog. Just her and the dog.

Yep.

Just her and the dog. This felt like a bad joke she'd read in the local papers. Repede sat on the floor content, but eyeing the food on the table. He probably hoped that if they went long enough without the others he could partake in their helpings. Sadly, she was tempted to let him. Wasted food was something she hates and Felinis had spent a good few hours plucking and prepping this chicken for their meal. All the food here was sacrificed so they could live and it would rot if left alone. It disgraced the chef and the animal to leave scraps.

"So." She started but didn't finish, because talking to the dog would be crazy and Felinis was many things and crazy would be one of them. Repede did not need to know that. She still wasn't sure on if the dog could actually talk. He probably could. Felinis was certain everyone was just hiding the fact. If Repede reported back her absurd ramblings, then Felinis would be forced to take extreme measures. Like begging the dog not to tell anyone and bride him with meat (expensive, costly, meat).

Felinis glared into the empty hallway and sprung from her chair knocking it to the ground. "That's it! If those ass-hats are going to not show, then they get what they deserve!" She stomped to the staircase furiously. "Repede do what you will." Repede joyfully went for Yuri's plate and began scarfing the food. Felinis sat in the bed pouting. She'd made that plate specially for him and he wasn't even around to so much as taste it. Stupid Yuri! Stupid, sexy Yuri!

She plopped on the bed and crossed her arms. Stupid, sexy, sexy, Yuri. The sound paws on wood brushed her ears and she turned to see Repede looking at her. "Hey." Felinis turned over on her side. "Wanna come on up?" Repede stayed put but sat near the bed. "Suit yourself." Tentatively, she reached out a hand to pet him. The large dog leaned his head into her hand, she smiled and scratched his ears. "I hoped you liked it." He woofed and Felinis laughed. "That's always good to hear." Animals were the best. She pet him for a long time and after a while started to massage his neck. Today had been more than a little exhausting and petting Repede's fur felt wonderful. Eventually, she drifted off to sleep and Repede jumped on the bed and curled at her feet.

Karol came home from being out with Nan very late. The two had gone monster hunting and had decided to have a picnic dinner near the edge of the town. He had been surprised at Nan declaring she'd made them both dinner (even if it was just sandwiches). Nan usually wasn't up for doing stuff like that, but she'd practically demanded they sit down, eat, and watch the stars. How could he say no? No, really, how was he supposed to say no when Nan had had his arm in a vice grip. It still kind of hurt. He rubbed his arm sourly as he did his best to navigate through the dark kitchen. It was still odd not having lights that turned on with a flick of the switch. Karol wished he could go out with the rest of his guildmates, but Raven had said it was grown up stuff. This was stupid! He was practically an adult!

In Dahngrest thirteen was when you were considered an adult by law. Most people started their apprenticeships by the time they were ten and finished initial training by thirteen. Sure, Karol had never had a true apprenticeship because of all his guild hopping… but still he was turning thirteen in a few months and then his friends would have to let him go with them. He looked at the kitchen table and found that it was surprisingly set for dinner. Right, no one had told Felinis about their little traditions.

Karol would normally have been there to eat with her, but Nan sprung the picnic on him. It looked like Felinis had splurged on the too. Usually, she only bought small cuts or fish, stuff they could eat in the night since it would spoil. This was a whole chicken roasted and cut up in large portions and served with fresh greens. Not something to scoff at. He looked at one plate where the salad had extra tomatoes and another that obviously had a bit more baked potatoes slices than the others. The latter was placed in his spot and the former in Judith's. Meanwhile Raven's looked just about average, but when he looked at Yuri's spot an empty plate with only scattered veggies remained. When Karol felt around the floor on the ground he could feel well cleaned chicken bones.

Looks like Repede figured that Yuri's was okay to eat.

He wasn't hungry and the food was cold, but he didn't want it to go to waste. Karol sat down and slowly ate the meal. Now, that he thought about he didn't think he'd ever seen Felinis cook before. She was usually too busy running the front to cook. She wasn't half-bad. He'd have to thank her in the morning.

The trio had stumbled in even later than the young leader. To be fair they had the challenge of escorting a drunk Yuri which was never easy. When they arrived at the hall Yuri was at the point where all he did was protest about how they should still be out partying and having fun. They entered through the front just because it was easier and somewhere in the back of Yuri's inebriated head he could hear Fel lecturing him about not using the back door.

Oh, right. They needed to take her out drinking some time. She was so uptight! If they got a few drinks in her then he bet she'd loosen up for a change. She was always so serious and it was a drag. It wasn't like with Flynn and his workaholic mindset. Flynn could let loose; all he'd ever seen Fel do was work and find excuses to work. Hell, when he'd asked where she went every Friday she said she went some managers club to talk about- what else, work! It was ridiculous. The girl needed a hobby besides staring off into space. Maybe she'd for once talk about herself if she was drunk. All anyone knew about her was what was on the surface. Yuri wasn't even sure how old Fel was.

Judy was still pulling him along probably hoping to kick his ass into bed and make sure he wouldn't do something stupid. Jokes on her, Yuri was already planning on doing something stupid. Yuri's whole life when it came down to it was based on doing stupid things. He wasn't sure what he was gonna do, but it be stupid or awesome. Probably both.

He was about to head up, but not because Judy told him to or because the ground was tilted when the old man pointed out the plates. Right, they didn't tell Fel they were leaving. She probably made them dinner. Oddly he couldn't see his plate set. The alcohol had made him hungry and it was a crime to waste a meal. If anyone back home in the Lower Quarter saw this, they'd be ashamed. When he looked hard through the dim lighting of a lantern he saw there was a plate for him only it had been clearly ransacked by someone with paws. He'd eat the greens just so they weren't wasted but he wanted a full plate. The old man passed his and Yuri started scarfing down the food. Once he finished this leg he was going after Repede.

He took the last bite and stood up. Okay, drunk and full belly did not make one up for taking revenge on the dog. Now, all he wanted to do was curl up with Repede. Yuri made his way upstairs and saw the soft glow of a lamp coming from Judy's room. He looked in just because he was a little curious what Fel would be doing up so late. She was lying in the bed still in one of her many girly dresses that made her look like a doll. Yuri drifted his gaze down to her feet where his loyal companion was sleeping. Traitor.

Fine. He'd sleep alone.

Life with Raven didn't change things much over the next month. Felinis still did her job and everyone else still did their's. She still kept to herself, but it was much harder now. Everyone kept pushing for her to open up and talk now when all Felinis wanted to do was watch. But, they were insistent after that night. She reluctantly complied, but kept to talking about everything but herself. Yuri was cooking lunch and she'd closed early today because of the heavy rain outside. It wasn't that rough compared to some of the harsher storms that hit Dahngrest but nobody sane was walking in that. Felinis sat at the bar staring at his gorgeous back.

Felinis wondered how he'd look wearing a frilly apron and just an apron while cooking. She could picture now his gorgeous butt cheeks moving left and right as Yuri swayed while he cooked. His back muscles bare to the word showing their lithe but strong majesty. He'd wear a ponytail too just so she could get a better view. Hey, that rhymed!

Okay, that's enough staring! Back to work. She was still going over the budget and making sure bills were up to date. Once she finished that she looked over job requests. "Looks like you have a job request from one of the smithing guilds. It's asking for some rare materials from Hypionia."

"Awesome." He wasn't looking her way, but she could tell Yuri was smiling. "We'll tell Judy and then prepare to set out." Hypionia was a dangerous far off place. If her map knowledge was right they'd be gone a long time. At least a month. A month on her own. It wasn't the first time they'd been gone for days or weeks on jobs. She hated these kinds though. What would she do during that month? She was lost in her thoughts again. She kept swimming and swimming and swimming through till someone yanked her out. "Hey! Fel!"

Something tapped on her face and she panicked and fell off her seat with a large crash. Repede who'd been sitting by the whole time nudged at her face and she sat up painfully. Fuck, that hurt.

"Whoa. Fel, you alright?" Yuri left his food and offered a hand which she gladly took. If she wasn't in pain she'd be focusing more on the rough calloused texture of hands that held a blade.

"Yeah, I'm good." She winced. "I'll live."

Yuri smirked and pat her head like he would sometimes do for Karol. Figures, he only saw her as a kid. "Good. I was asking if you could see if we could take a break and go to Zaphias?"

Felinis was about to ask why anyone in their right mind would got the empire's asshole, but then she remembered that Yuri was from Zaphias. Living in Dahngrest made it easy for her to instinctually think 'Fuck The Empire'. "Yeah, I'll check." She started going through her books. "If you finish up the Hypionia job and I take up a few jobs before then we should be able to." And by 'we' she meant everyone but her. Felinis was not leaving her safe guild city to travel dangerous roads filled with monsters to go to a city run by the Empire.

Yuri was more than pleased by this answer. "Great. It'll be nice to see Flynn and Estelle." Felinis knew from all the times she'd talked with Yuri that Flynn was his best friend since they were children. And the commandant. A relationship that while Felinis understood in the back of her 'Fuck The Empire' mindset didn't like. She thought it was awesome that he had a lifelong friend like that though. Felinis only had a few friends who were always busy with their own lives. But, who the _fuck_ was Estelle? Was she a girlfriend? A wife? An unmentioned sister? A cousin? A man with an effeminate name? An old lady who sold soap by the road? What was Estelle? What? What!

Do not be crazy! Think in a calm orderly fashion. She was trying, but it wasn't working. Just think about something simple. Like ferns. Think about ferns and the fascinating nature of ferns. This wasn't working.

Well, maybe she should just ask like a sensible person.

Bitch, sensible is for people who don't drink soy sauce!

"Fel are you sure you're okay?" Yuri asked.

"Yes! Fine! Never been better!" She laughed. "Why you ask?"

Yuri raised a brow. "Because you look... stressed."

"I'm fine. Totally fine."

She was always fine! Always fine.

Yeah.

Always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: In hindsight I should have had a joke chapter about cheese


	8. Skits

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: I have projects and midterms to do so I'm going to give you more skits for now while the chapter gets finished. I almost decided to give you more butter, but the fact is nobody needs that much butter… most the time.

_A Woman's Greatest Secret_

Felinis: Judith I was wondering… how do you get such pretty skin?

Judith: Oh? After my beauty tips?

Felinis: I was just curious. It's so softs and pretty!

Judith: Sorry. Can't say.

Felinis: Why not?

Judith: Skin care is a woman's greatest secret. You must have your own too.

Felinis: No. I don't have secrets like that.

Judith: Then you must have secrets of a different kind.

 

_All Grown Up!_

Felinis: Are you sure you don't need help on those papers Karol?

Karol: Positive.

Felinis: Really? This can be a bit hard for a kid to handle.

Karol: I'm not a kid! I'm almost thirteen.

Felinis: ( _chuckles)_ If that's the case then you are most certainly an adult. You can manage this.

Karol: Exactly. Thanks for understanding.

Felinis: No problem.

Karol: Um… Fel can you help me with this form?

Felinis: Of course.

 

_Pervs of a Feather_

Felinis: I really am sorry about hitting you.

Raven: Ya still on that? (sigh) Look what's in the past is in the past. Let's just move on. Wooie! Look at that beauty.

Felinis: Judith does have beautiful boobs. But, I think the best part might just be her ass.

Raven: Are you blind? Obviously, the best part is her breasts.

Felinis: Ah, you boob lovers. While boobs are wondrous things when you have a pair of your own you realize no matter how perfect the squeeze in the end all boobs pale in comparison to the ass.

Raven: But, that's from your side of da fence. We men can't just have the joy of looking down to our own pair every day. Boobs are a joy ta man!

Felinis: And Judith's boobs are a blessing to all.

Raven: Amen to that!

 

_Felinis and Repede part 1_

Felinis: Aww! Who's this handsome fella?

Yuri: This is Repede. He's a fellow member.

Felinis: What's with the pipe? Does your dog smoke?

Karol: No. Repede just carries that around.

Felinis: And the sword?

Yuri: He doesn't like using his claws and stuff.

Felinis: Okay…

Felinis: Does he talk? Because a talking dog would be awesome.

Judith: No. But, he's certainly clever.

Repede: Woof.

 

_Felinis and Repede part 2_

Felinis: Oh, you're just so cute I wanna hug you!

_Felinis's skit face gets close to Repede's to simulate hugging._

Repede: Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Karol: Felinis that's really not a good idea.

Yuri: Yeah, Repede doesn't like it when people do that.

Repede: Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Yuri: Repede play nice.

Felinis: Oh, who's a handsome doggie?

Repede: Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Felinis: I just want to spoil you rotten.

Yuri: Please don't.

Repede: Woof.

Felinis: How 'bout we get you some nice treats? I have some dried squid if you want some.

Repede: Woof. Woof.

Felinis: Come on! Let's go.

_Felinis and Repede leave the scene_

Karol: I thought for sure Repede was going to bite her.

Yuri: I guess Repede decided the food was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: I have an afghan hound named Duchy (short for Duchess) and while she hates it when I hug her she lets me do it a lot. She also loves dried squid. We often share pieces together and she is my precious puppy. Which is laughable because she comes up past my waist. I love animals. I prefer cats, but I will love the shit out of a puppy. A chapter will be up soon. SCAD consumes my life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Today's chapter is going to have something called plot. I'm not what that is, but I'm told it's important and smells like strawberries. Also it tastes like chicken and mashed potatoes. I'm deciding for a consistent upload date I'm going to aim for Wednesdays. So Excpet to see more then.

_"_ _Hey, Fel!" a young teenage boy's voice called to the small brunette sitting by the bridge at the town entrance. She called for him ecstatically and ran up to hug him. "Sorry if I made you wait long."_

_She adamantly shook her head. "Not at all. Tell me all about the trip! Was it fun? Did you fight monster? What's Halure like?" She leapt away holding a sheathed sword and gave a few slashes in the air against an invisible beast. "I bet you used some of those awesome artes to rip them to shreds!"_

_He laughed and she gave a wide smile. "You bet! None of them stood a chance."_

_Felinis stopped and looked at the simple sword strapped to his waist. "Let's fight."_

_"_ _You sure? I've gotten pretty strong." He said with a cocky grin._

_Felinis snorted. "Yeah, but I'm gonna be stronger! I'll be the best warrior the world has ever seen. Just you wait!"_

_"_ _You'd be better already if you took off those stupid heels, shorty." He teased. "Besides, I thought you wanted me to tell you about Halure?"_

_Felinis was getting impatient and proceeded to try and whack the boy with her sword only for him to swiftly get out of the way. "That can wait. I haven't been able to spar with you in almost a month." He'd only been gone two weeks, but Felinis had a habit for exaggeration. He agreed and the two sparred for hours until exhaustion settled in and they were forced to stop._

_The setting sun shined behind them as the two teens stared out at the river. "Wow, Fel. You got a bit better when I wasn't around." He'd admitted to her later on in life that he'd been holding back on her that day. At first she had forgiven him for it, but as an adult the thought turned to bitterness. Why hadn't he been willing to fight her with all his might? Even if she lost every time she would have understood it just meant she needed to get stronger. Instead he took pity on her._

_"_ _Thanks." She looked down at her feet. She wasn't blushing, but she didn't want to chance him seeing. "I started learning some healing artes while you were gone."_

_"_ _Really?"_

_She nodded. "I'm going to be a great fighter and stuff, but if you or anyone else got hurt and I couldn't help it be awful." She didn't want that. More than anything she didn't want to lose him. "Not enough people know how to cast them. I'm going to do my best to be a healer and a fighter." She looked at him with ferocity in her eyes. "I'm gonna be the one to protect you!"_

_He made a face that to this day Felinis wasn't sure what it meant. "If you're protecting me then I'm not doing my job right." They teased each other back and forth. He talked about his adventures and of Halure. The sun was on its last few rays when he pulled out something from his pocket. "Here. I got this for you in Halure."_

_It was a bracelet with a few metal pieces and lovely purple glass beads. The part though that she loved most about it was the little bell that hanged next to a flower charm. "You like bells so," he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "I thought you'd like it."_

_"_ _It's so pretty!" she slipped it on her thin wrists and shook to hear that light tinkling sound. "I love it!" A thought slipped into her head. "This is great! Now, you'll always know where I am."_

_"_ _I'm glad you like it." When they walked home he never looked back to see if she was following. He could hear the bell ringing softly and she did her best to keep up with him through the crowded streets._

Let's see if she took into account the recent expenses on the new icebox plus the recent food expenses… Ugh! Who invented numbers in the first place? Just carry the two and-fuck! No! None of this is right. Everything is wrong and everyone will die a fiery death at the hands of some giant monster named Greg who lives with his lovely wife Samantha. And their pet cat Fluffles.

Fuck you Fluffles.

Felinis was working out the budget for a trip to Hypionia. When they had things like ceres blastia to power ships trips like that would only be a few weeks of travel, but these days getting there would take almost a month and possibly longer. This meant she had to work out a food budget for stocking the boat as well as the fact that the guild wouldn't be taking new jobs while they were away. Unless, some stayed behind. Felinis hoped that was the case, because if not this month's budget would be _tiiigghhht._ This wouldn't be the first time they'd gone off continent but it was much farther than Yuri and Judith hopping over to Ilyccia for a week. With trips like that Felinis could easily gage expenses for the trip and usually her guildmates came in under budget. And early. When she looked at the job track records the less things made sense.

Brave Vesperia had only been officially established for four months and she'd managed two of those. The records she'd made perfect sense (obviously, after all she wrote them), but the math from other jobs didn't. Felinis before had only looked back at the jobs taken the week she joined. When she looked back further to see how they'd manage themselves she found holes in the time dates. How did one take up a job in Halure and get all the way to Nordopolica in only a week? Even with ceres blastia trips still took forever. Had Karol slipped on the dates and miswritten? He should have been in the office looking over mail and the other paperwork that Felinis couldn't do.

Felinis entered to see Karol mulling over a few papers. "Hey, do you have a minute?"

Karol looked from the papers covering Union fees, rules, meetings, jobs, etc. One of the annoyances of being a guild leader was that he was required by Union law to keep a strict record of everything the guild did. Ever since Felinis had joined up he mostly just looked over her work and signed off on it. He was grateful for that. Paperwork no matter what for is boring "Yeah? What's up?"

"I was wondering about these old records here." Felinis held out the book and Karol looked at it puzzled.

"What about it?" He was a little worried that Felinis would begin one of her dreaded lectures. Karol could live with having almost no real desk work, but Felinis's lectures were to hate.

"The dates don't add up." She pointed over the earliest jobs the guild had taken and how none of it made sense. Well, of course it wouldn't to Felinis. "You can't just hop across the world in a week."

"But we do it all the time." Felinis rolled her eyes. "No, really. We have this cool Entelexeia friend named Ba'ul who flies us around and stuff."

"Uh huh." Felinis didn't believe him. "And what does this friend of yours look like?"

Karol paused a moment and clutched his chin. What was the best way to describe Ba'ul? "Well, he's really huge and looks like a dragon but he also looks like a whale. And he has lots of feathers and scales. He carries the Fierta in his mouth and flies us all around the world."

"Pardon my language but, basically you're telling me the guild has a giant _fucking_ sky whale that carries everyone around the world?" Felinis said with a raised brow.

"Pretty much." Karol said almost hesitantly. When she put it that way it sounded just a little dumb. "But, he's an Entelexeia. Not a whale."

"A giant. Fucking. Sky whale." Felinis repeated hoping that the more she said the words the more reality would sink. "Giant _fucking_ sky whale." It still sounded like bullshit.

Karol wasn't sure how to respond to her reaction.

"Why did nobody tell me about this sooner?" Felinis said now walking around in a circle. She was accepting the idea, but still struggling with the fact she hadn't heard anything about this before.

"I thought we did."

"No. Nobody told me that we have a giant _fucking_ sky whale."

Felinis looked exasperated. "Are you mad?"

"Yes! That changes the logistics on everything! Why aren't we marketing this?" Felinis exclaimed and marched out of the office into the common area where everyone else was. "Why did nobody tell me we have a giant _fucking_ sky whale?"

Judith looked from a book she was reading while she sat on the couch. Karol sighed behind Felinis. "He's not a whale. He's an Entelexeia."

"I have literally no idea what that means." Just that they had a giant _fucking_ sky whale that nobody had bother to mention.

"How about I explain it?" Judith asked but judging from the tone it wasn't a question. Felinis sat down and listened as Judith explained who and what an Entelexeia was.

"Why aren't we marketing this?" Felinis repeated. Just think of the jobs they'd get from advertising the guild's ability to travel around the world in weeks! And then another thought occurred to her. "Wait, if you guys can get to Ilyccia in half a day then why have you taken sometimes more than a week to get back?"

They had no excuse. Other than sometimes they stopped to help out townsfolk or sometimes they would have a daylong visit in Zaphias to see their friends. Felinis was not pleased. She gave a lecture about how slacking off meant more struggles down the road and how they should be taking things seriously. Then she gave a lecture about how if she had been told this in advance she could have made smarter expense plans for the guild. She was pretty sure no one was listening. At least Repede was on her side.

"Come on Repede. Let's go shopping." She huffed and went out to get the groceries. Repede trotted along probably hoping for a treat. When she got back she'd have to work out a new budget.

In a way, they kind of deserved the lecture. In another way, it felt like being ordered around by Flynn only this time Yuri wasn't allowed to entirely ignore everything. So, what if they took a few days to meander about? They still got the job done and guild still functioned. Fel, needed to relax. He felt like he had that thought a lot. But, it had been a treat to see her swear up a storm. He hadn't taken her for having a foul mouth. Half the time when he tried to talk with her she stared off into space or kept it professional. At least she seemed to open when it came to Repede.

It was a little surprising that the warrior dog warmed up to her even after she did things that not even Yuri dared do. Hugging Repede once he got past his puppy days had always been a no. But, the dog forgave Fel and even let her get away with it sometimes. As well as she often talked in that doting voice that Yuri _certainly_ never did (okay maybe had once or twice when Repede was still small) because Repede found it insulting. He wished that Fel would stop spoiling him. More often than Yuri would have liked he found she was secretly sneaking him treats. Or it would have been secret if Repede didn't gloat about how he was getting treats and Fel seemed to act like Yuri didn't exist.

"Geez, I thought she'd never shut up." He huffed to himself and ran a hand through his hair. "What's the big deal anyway? Aren't we doing fine?"

"She's just tryin' to plan ahead." The old man said. "And it's her job." Couldn't fault her on that.

Why did the boss just let her in? They had been doing fine before. He probably just got swept in the joy of having someone who wanted to join. But, Yuri didn't like that Fel just showed up. She'd told them nothing about herself other than her skills. Something about that was unnerving.

She didn't trust anyone with her past or seem to want to make an impact in the present. She was a strange living ghost. Even with how sure she always seemed it seemed like Fel was just lost. Yuri wasn't one to pry, but it almost looked to him like Fel was afraid of something. Or maybe even someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: As I'm writing this sentence I just finished two kettles of tea and the world is shaking and I can't feel my hands. I'm not sure why this happening it can't be caffeine because all my tea is decaf. I think it's the anemia. Probably the anemia.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of Karol, because Karol is awesome

The swaying of the Fierta as it traveled across the sky was a strange sensation. Not quite the rhythm of a ship at sea, but more like a rumble that echoed through the ship. It was a hard feeling to get used to. Walking around on the ship was even stranger. It felt like walking uphill or at an angle. The distortion was never enough to make a person trip, but it did numb the legs.

Today was a particularly windy day. Thick clouds were rolling in for a storm at sea that would probably hit by nightfall. The Fierta would have cleared that area by then. Karol figured they'd be able to stop in Nordopolica in a day. Even from a distance Felinis was doing her job. When they were about to leave yesterday she'd shown up with packed lunches that had little notes inside.

The notes said things like 'have fun' or 'say hi to the giant sky whale for me'. Karol was pretty sure Felinis still didn't understand what an Entelexeia was. The one that made him laugh read 'If you stop for the coliseum I will be cross. Lookin at you, Yuri'.

The world felt so small from the ship's deck. He wished Nan would let him take her up on Ba'ul. He bet that Nan would love it, but she refused to be carried around by a monster. Nan wasn't out to kill Ba'ul anymore. She'd realized at some point that even if the Entelexeia was in her eyes a monster, killing Ba'ul would cause more harm than good. So she left him alone. Her birthday was coming up soon. Karol would have to think of something to get her.

But, what do girls like? A question that had been haunting him all week. "Yuri, what do girls like?" If anyone could give him answer it be Yuri.

The raven-haired man leaned back a bit on the side of the ship's rail. He hummed and then answered. "Depends on the girl."

"Right." He sighed. "But, what do you usually buy?"

"I dunno. Jewelry and stuff?" Jewelry, huh? He wasn't sure Nan would like that.

"But, what do you buy when you want to get something special?"

"I don't know, flowers and all that 'gushy stuff'." Karol deadpanned. There was no way he could get Nan flowers or all that 'gushy stuff' She'd probably break his ribs. "Just get them something you'd think they'd like." Yuri ruffled his hair and headed below deck. Something Nan would like? Karol leaned on the rails and stared out into the cloudy sky.

The band of heroes stopped for more supplies in Nordopolica. Despite Yuri and Judith's protests they were only there to spend the night. It was obvious the adrenaline junkies wanted to enter the coliseum. It was too late to enter in today's tournament and Karol had promised Felinis to keep a strict schedule. He wasn't up for one of her lectures.

While everyone went off on their own Karol took to trying to find a gift. Maybe some polish for her weapon? No. Way too insincere! He kept looking. He tried looking at some jewelry at the street vendors. There were many beautiful necklaces, rings, and bracelets but all were too gaudy. He spotted a set of bracelets that caught his eye. The vendor noted this and readied her sales pitch. "You've got a good eye kid." The woman running the stall smiled. "That's rare piece here." They were just simple metal and glass beaded bracelets. The only thing that stood out was that each had a bell. He could easily make something like that.

"What's so rare about them?" He asked.

"These fine bracelets are imports from Halure from a jewelry line that stopped producing after the artist died four years ago." Karol wasn't impressed and the vendor could tell. She held them out and gestured to the largest bead on one of the bracelets. "The artist Lomure who crafted the bracelets beaded each individually for the client. Lomure would place something different in this bead. Flowers, insects, even small jewels." She moved to show him the star shaped charm. "Lomure supposedly attached a different charm on depending on who was it was for." She pointed to the bell. "The bracelets were supposed to be sold in sets of two. They were popular with couples and became known as bride bracelets from the bell." She set them down on the table. "These here are what's left from his shop after he died. They make a great gift." Karol wasn't interested in buying the bracelets, but the woman had given him an idea.

They made quick work of their job. Karol enthusiastically taking out monsters. His guildmates watched in idle curiosity as Karol pulled off scales, teeth, and other things from the monsters' corpses. On the way, back Karol sat inside the Fierta and started fiddling with his collection of monster pieces. This would be awesome! Nan would love it for sure.

Felinis has almost slept in. She needed to make sure that everything was clean. And all record that she had entered Yuri's room and slept on his bed had been removed. No one must know! They were supposed to be back today. It had been almost a whole week. She needed to start advertising this on posters. Maybe Felinis could ask if she could get a chance to sketch the sky whale. Then she could put him on posters. Hopefully, they didn't have to add the whale to the pay roll.

She did her best to hide any sign she'd entered Yuri's room or that she'd tried on Judith's clothes. Suffice to say that those hadn't fit in the slightest. Felinis cleaned and made ready some lunch for her returning guildmates. Fall was almost here and she had just started canning food for the winter. How would everyone fair once it hit? Dahngrest didn't have the harshest winters, but it still stood that things would get very cold soon. Thankfully they wouldn't get snow, but places like Zaphias were bound to suffer greatly. Living without Blastia was going to be a greater challenge than anybody was ready for.

For once they came in through the back door (but didn't announce themselves so she was still worried about them being serial killers). "Welcome home." She chimed. She had just finished making lunch. "Have a seat. I'll get everything set in a moment." She started setting down the plates and placed on that had been prepared with lots of love and care on the floor. "Here you go cutie." Felinis pat Repede's head with a smile.

The dog seemed to be grinning. "Would you stop doting him like that." Yuri huffed and took a seat."Repede doesn't need you to spoil him all the time."

Felinis stayed at the dog's level and whispered in his ear. "If I didn't know better I'd say he was jealous." She swore she heard Repede snicker.

The swordsman was glaring at the warrior dog now. Felinis did her best to not laugh because the whole scene was just so adorable. She had missed these two a lot. Yuri for his beauty. Repede for his companionship. Felinis asked about everything the group had been up to and what Hypionia was like. Karol enthusiastically recounted the journey for her and listened reverently. It sounded incredible. These stories always did.

Felinis was too afraid to leave the safety of Dahngrest so she'd only ever been able to hear of far off lands. It seemed so amazing. So incredible. But, it was too dangerous for someone like her. Yep, too dangerous. Still, listening was fine. Felinis was content with listening. She was fine staying in Dahngrest.

She was fine with a lot of things.

While she was cleaning up the dishes she saw Karol eyeing her bracelet. "Hey Fel?" he asked nervously. She hummed a 'yes?'. "Do girls like jewelry."

"Most do. Girls are weird. I don't get them." Felinis placed a plate on the drying rack.

"But, aren't you a girl?" He was confused and Felinis laughed.

"Do you understand guys all the time?" Felinis quipped boys. Karol shook his head. "Same principal." She ruffled his hair affectionately. Karol was so cute. He'd probably be a catch for whatever girl stole his heart in the end. "People are complicated no matter what. That's just how it works."

Karol looked around nervously. "Um, would you be willing to check something I made? I'd like a girl's opinion on it."

"Of course. But, why not ask Judith?"

"Judith's tastes are a little..." He struggled to say the word. "...weird. I'd rather get a normal girl's opinion." Right. Normal. Felinis was normal? Yeah, tell that to everyone else. But, nice try kid. "I'll show it to you later. " And he's off! Ah, to be young.

She looked at the bracelet on her wrist. It rang so nicely even after all these years.

Felinis was sitting on the orange monstrosity that was occasionally called a couch reading. This place could use a new couch too. Felinis would love it if they could afford to redecorate. She was engrossed in a book from the Tales of the Jade Planet series. It was the third book and now she was thoroughly engrossed in what would happen. She hoped the brother of the main character would make it out okay. If he died she'd have no choice but to rage quit.

Felinis shut the book when she felt a presence approach. "Fel we're going out tonight. You should come with us." Yuri said. If Felinis were honest she'd say yes. Hell, if she were ambitious she'd say yes because then she'd have more time with Yuri. But, fear is a funny thing. Felinis didn't want to let people know her. She didn't like being honest even with herself. She'd rather hide everything inside and pretend. At least then, Felinis would always be able to run.

She told him no. Which was hard. When Yuri looked at her with his steely eyes she felt herself melt a little. He looked disappointed with her answer. He didn't push, just walked away. Felinis felt something eat sway inside. She was such a fool.

_"If you're scared than just try. If you don't do anything what's the point?"_

Felinis bit her lip and tried not to laugh. She'd messed up so much. She kept playing around like a fool. A total fool. What good would trying do? It was too late to try anymore. All she knew how to do was run. He'd probably laugh if he saw her now. A pathetic excuse of a woman doing her best to run away from everything. Still, wearing a bell for a person who didn't care. Felinis clenched her fist.

_Woof._

Repede was looking at her with concern. "I'm okay Repede." He didn't look convinced. "Really! I'm feeling just fine." Felinis did her best to smile and ruffle Repede's fur. "See?" He rolled his eyes and sat next to her on the couch. Idly she ran a hand over his fur and pretended to return to her book.

It was just her and Karol that evening. After dinner, he pulled out something from a box. It was necklace from the looks of it made from various monster pieces. It was simple and beautiful. Monster scales looking like jewels and teeth like pearls. "How is it?" He asked.

"Absolutely beautiful." She gleamed. "Is this for Nan?"

Karol's face reddened and he rubbed the back of his head shyly. "Her birthday's next week."

"Is she turning thirteen?" Thirteen was a big deal in Dahngrest. With Nan's reputation as a star member of the hunting blades no doubt there'd be a huge celebration. The young boss nodded, still a little shy about his gift. "She'll love it. Guaranteed!"

Karol looked at her bracelet once more. "I met a lady in Nordopolica selling those."

Felinis giggled. "So they're still selling these even after all these years?" She shook her wrist and the old bell rang. "Are they still called bride bracelets?"

"Yeah." Karol said. "The artist who made them died a few years ago apparently."

Looks like things hadn't changed even after almost ten years. "Lomure was dead when I was a kid too."

Karol looked at her quizzically.

"The story behind these is bogus." She smiled. "The bracelets are as worthless as they look. They're just con man jewelry. Pretty, but worthless." She leaned back. "Still, people keep buying them so it's a good scam." A good lie. A lie at one point she wanted to be true.

"If their sold in sets of two where's the other?" It was such an innocent question, but to her it was pain.

"I lost it." But, that was a lie. There had only ever been one bracelet.

_Ring._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In real life I do wear a bracelet (or as I sometime think of it a wrist ring) that is like the one in the story, The charm on it isn't a flower though, it's a tiny Chinese coin replica. I don't wear it for any reason other than I like the bell and it reminds me which hand is my left. As a lefty, you'd think this wouldn't be a problem, but you'd be surprised how much I forget. The wrist ring was in fact a gift from a good friend, but it does not have any real emotional significance.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: So I learned recently that I need to read labels better because I have been accidently consuming so much caffeine. Turns out my tea isn't caffeine free. Imagine that. Now, enjoy.

Felinis was cleaning up the front of the guild hall again. It wasn't dirty, but it gave her something to do. Karol was talking with her about trivial things. Just the typical gossip of what was going on in Dahngrest overall along with the long-lasting topic over who the true identity of the Wonder Chef. No one was sure what the Wonder Chef's real name was or anything about him. All anyone was sure about was that the man was the greatest chef in history. It became one of those subjects everyone liked to talk about. Among others was if there was a secret monster society or who actually ran Dahngrest. Altosk or some shadow government? Simple things like that.

"What day is Nan's birthday?" She asked as she looked at the empty spot near the window. It needed a plant. Not an herb. Too smelly. A fern would be perfect, but what kind? Her mind immediately went to Douglas, but that was a type of fir tree. Not a fern. Very Different.

"Thursday." So, in three days.

"Is her guild having a party?" Often when an apprenticeship ended and a child turned thirteen the guild would hold a party. Usually, they were large, loud, and resulted in at least one or two things breaking.

Karol gave a nod. "No. She doesn't like parties."

"Then is Nan going to get a rite?" A rite was an old-fashioned pledge of loyalty members would take to identify themselves with a guild. It started in times of war to help people identify corpses when they were unrecognizable. A rite was essentially a cattle brand. It used to be required for guildmembers to go through rites where they were either tattooed or seared with the guild symbol, but now they were mostly just formalities. Felinis had never gone through a rite. With all the running she did there wasn't a point.

"Yeah. She's excited for it." Nan had every right to be. At one time Felinis had almost gone through her rite, but that was before she ran.

Felinis glided a hand over the smooth wood counter. "You should celebrate with her. Go out on a date or something."

Karol turned visibly red and started waving his arms frantically. "I-we—it's not like that!"

Aww. How adorable. Someone more socially awkward then her. "I bet it make her happy."

"But- well-" he was clearly struggling for an excuse. "She doesn't want a party."

Felinis giggled. Time for good old fashioned manipulation. "But, if you hang out with her then you can make sure to give her your gift. What if you can't give it to her on her birthday?" Felinis may be tragic when it came to her own love life, but when it came to others she was strangely a love guru. Maybe the fact that she had never managed to be in a real relationship gave her uncanny insight. "Besides, I don't think she'll mind hanging out with one person. Nobody likes to be alone on their birthday."

Karol was still trying to give an excuse, but finally Felinis settled on a solution. "If you don't muster up the balls to ask that girl out I'm going to start talking endlessly about the birds and the bees in the most graphic way I can. And I can be pretty graphic when I try." He didn't seem to buy into her threat. Oh, ye of little faith. Felinis started slowly talking about the basics of conception and Karol yelled at her to shup. This encouraged her.

"Okay! Okay!" Karol cried. "I'll ask her out! Geez." Score one for the crazy bitch.

"You'll thank me some day for this." Or Karol would come to loathe her very existence. It depended on how the amount of damage her impact would be leaving on the guild. Karol just rolled his eyes. She wasn't doing this to be mean. Honest and truly. But, she would admit it was fun.

Lately things in the guild were slow. It happens. Sometimes there was simply a break in the stream of requests. Usually, Brave Vesperia was busy, but since the job in Hypionia was supposed to take a month and nobody had told her about the giant _fucking_ (by this point swearing was for her own amusement rather than emphasis) sky whale they hadn't taken a new large scale job in a few days. Oh, sure, Felinis did a few odd ones here and there. Helping find stray cats, fix items, babysit kids; the usual. But the others hadn't done much. They offered to help, but usually she either got to it first or she pushed them off. This was her way of earning her keep.

_Ring._

Felinis looked to the door, a young man with blond hair and a red tattoo on his face came in. She'd have to be an idiot not to know who this was. Harry Whitehorse. She jumped a little and tried to stand as well composed and formal as she could with a broom. "Whitehorse! Um, hello! Let me get the boss." Karol had walked off only a few seconds ago so he'd be just down the hall. She ran in her heals as she saw he was about to walk out the back. "Boss, the leader of Altosk is here." Felinis normally wasn't so formal, but if the leader of Altosk was here she better be on her best behavior.

Don't be stupid!

Karol nodded. "Can you get everyone else?"

"I'll try." He ran towards the front to greet their guest. What did Altosk want?

Curiosity killed the cat.

Best to just find the others if she could. Luckily, Judith and Yuri were just out sparing while Raven watched idly on a bench they'd set against the wall. Felinis had the distinct feeling he wasn't watching the fight so much as Judith's beautiful bouncing boobs. She couldn't blame the man. She informed everyone and they all stopped and went inside to the meeting room that up till now had remained unused.

Inside everyone was sitting on the nicest couches in the guild a large oak coffee table between them. Felinis left to go make some tea.

Raven took the initiative and asked up front what Harry was there for. No niceties. Felinis walked and set down cups of tea for everyone, serving the Altosk leader first. "We have reason to believe remnants of the Leviathan's Claw are on the move." Raven watched from the corner of his eyes as Felinis visibly paled. Interesting.

Yuri spoke up. "I thought they disappeared after Yeager died."

Harry took a sip of the tea. "Mostly. But, from the looks of it this band seems to be made of members of not just Leviathan's Claw, but the Blood Alliance and a few other guilds as well. From what we've gathered leftover devotees from both the guilds haven't been too happy with things. As of right now, we're not sure what they're after, but it can't be good." Raven leaned forward and clutched his chin.

Judith relaxed herself into the wall she was leaning against. "I doubt they can do much without a strong leader."

"Whose ta say they haven't found one." Raven muttered in frustration. He expected radical followers of Alexei to crop up, but not as much the fallen guilds. "I doubt Yeager or Barbos surrounded themselves with idiots." There was a look on Felinis's face he could see from the corner of his eye. What did she know?

"Have they done anything?" Karol asked earnestly.

Harry shook his head and relief flowed through everyone. "Not yet, but we are still concerned. We'd like to request that Brave Vesperia keep a look out for them. If you find out anything, please inform us."

"Anything to look out for?" Raven said taking his cup and sipping. Tea wasn't his thing, but he drank to further stir his thoughts.

"Yes. From what we can tell all the members are wearing blue chokers." Felinis didn't react to that statement physically, but there was a look. Gears were turning. Not a lot, but they still turned.

"Chokers?" Karol raised a brow.

"Weird, I know. But, right now it's are only lead."

Yuri nodded. "We'll keep an eye out." Harry thanked them and left. This was going to get real complicated real fast. Great. And just when Raven thought there'd be peace. Not even a year and another possible battle was going to break out. He looked at Felinis who was doing a good job to look well composed. Raven leaned back in the couch.

What was she hiding?

Raven hadn't bothered prying into Felinis's past, yet. He had wanted to leave it untouched for the most part. After all, up till now she'd proven to be respectable and hard working. Guild hoppers while uncommon did exist. Raven figured she might just be one of them. He hoped so. "Felinis darlin' you okay? You seem a little tense." Raven couldn't have been the only one to notice.

Karol looked at Felinis as well. "Are you feeling alright?"

Felinis was picking up the tea most the cups untouched or mostly full. Her own empty so she reached for one the ones nobody went for and started drinking. "Yeah. It's just scary. I hope everything will be fine."

It didn't feel like a lie. But, it also didn't feel like the truth. "Don't worry Raven the Great is here ta protect ya!" She rolled her eyes and walked off.

Yuri pat him on the shoulder. "Better luck next time old man." As he stood Yuri gave him a hard look. "What are you thinking?"

Raven stretched his muscles with an audible pop. "Just that I need to do some looking around. Nothing dangerous."

The young man smirked. "If you can, come back with something interesting."

"I'll try."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: I admittedly already haven an ending, but at the same time I'm really making this up as I go. I was going to have a flashback at the start of the chapter, but it didn't fit the tone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: I hope you all have a wonderful happy turkey day tomorrow. I'm kind of impressed with myself for being able to keep the pace up on these chapters. Enjoy this chapter.

_A young Felinis sat at the bridge again waiting. He'd be coming back soon. This time the job was only to Capua Torim. A much shorter distance, but a distance all the same. This would be his second job with the guild that would take him past city walls._

_Talented._

_The word rang in her head. He was so talented. She was older than him and taller, yet he was already so far ahead of her. They'd started their apprenticeship two years ago. It was nothing but practice and training for Felinis. She wasn't a proficient fighter, yet. Her healing artes were coming along. She finally could cast first aid without chanting when she wasn't sparring. Maybe he'd be proud of her._

_He casually strolled down the road waving his hand in the air. Felinis ran up to him and pulled him into a tight hug. He let a small "oof" from the impact. "Good to see you too." The bell on her wrist rang and he pried his head from her chest. He hadn't gotten tall yet. Back when he was small Felinis felt like she could be a protector. She was big enough to shield him from the world with her hugs._

_What a silly thought. Felinis wasn't tall. She was small even as a kid. He'd just been inches shorter. He'd just been a few months younger. Such stupid thoughts._

_"What was it like?" She asked and pulled him along. "What kind of monsters did you fight?" She pulled him to their spot looking over the river. She asked him every question on her mind. And then she started taking about local events. He listened. "So, Miss Louis and Mister Rieg are getting married. Mister Rieg showed up with this huge bouquet of flowers and I thought since Miss Louis and him always fight she'd beat him up. But, she took the flowers and there was a ring in the bouquet. She said yes, but I think she was embarrassed." She stopped and looked at the water. "It feels forced. I think she said yes, because everyone was watching."_

_"He's an ass." Felinis grinned at his statement as the boy watched the city with her._

_"Yep, a real asshole." Her legs swung back in forth over the river. She shivered a bit. The fall air was getting nippy. He pulled her into a hug and in her joy, she sat on top of him. He wasn't that warm and the position was slightly uncomfortable._

_"Fel, get off me!" He complained but she stayed put and leaned into his back. If he'd been tall it wouldn't have been as awkward. But, Felinis hadn't cared about things like that back then. He tried to get her off, but eventually gave up. They stayed like that until it became clear that it was too cold for them to lay about._

She should run now.

The thought felt sickening in her throat. She usually ran because of a mistake she'd caused. Felinis wasn't running away because she caused the guild trouble. This was just self-preservation. There was also some sense of cosmic fuckery to all this.

Fuck. Just Fuck.

She should run. But, she couldn't now. If ran just after something like this she'd be suspect to any number of accusations. Felinis was a coward, but she wasn't stupid. She knew what running entailed and she wasn't up for that. She was stuck in the middle of a soon to be war zone now. She let out a large huff of frustration. Shit probably wouldn't hit the fan for some time. If the enemy was still organizing, then she had time. There was one thing she could think to do in a moment like this.

"Judith wanna go shopping?" She asked.

Clothing stores in Dahngrest were an interesting thing. They were one of the few groups that didn't operate by normal guild logic. While there were guilds for seamstresses and tailors they only crafted the clothes. Stores were independent for the most part and just sold clothes with brands. The store they were in was one of Judith's favorites. "No. No. No." A hand rifled through all of Felinis's clothing tossing them aside. "These will never do!"

Felinis sighed and picked up the clothing she had chosen from the clothing racks. "Remind me again why I go shopping with you?" The two had gone shopping a few times before for fun. Usually, Judith bought something and complained about Felinis's taste.

Judith smiled that cat grin of hers and pulled out a red dress that would probably be a top if she wore it. "Stop being stubborn. Now, put on this."

Felinis grimaced. "Are you sure? It's not my style."

Judith placed a hand on her hip. "That's why I'm certain it'll actually look good on you."

"I hate you." Felinis hissed as she took the red dress and went to the dressing room. "My wardrobe is amazing."

Judith was probably grinning widely. "Yes, so amazing that you look like you still shop from the kids' section."

She slipped the fabric over her head. So what if she did? It was cheaper and suited her. "I know I look like a doll, but that doesn't mean you can just dress me up when we go out." She said stepping out in a tight red dress that clung to Felinis's curves and flared out at the end around her mid-thigh.

"It's a waste really." Judith said eyeing over the manager. "There are many people who'd appreciate a sight like this."

Felinis folded her arms and huffed. "Yeah well, my job doesn't require me to show myself off." She didn't mind the brazen outfits or the colors. In fact, Felinis did have outfits that were more on sexy side than the cute dresses she normally wore. But, she had resigned herself to cute till she turned thirty. On the plus side, these days she had to put effort into looking twelve now she was commonly mistaken for fourteen.

Judith cocked a brow. "Isn't there anyone you want to notice you?"

Yes. "No." She wanted so much to be noticed that it was killing her inside. Boys didn't seem to fall for Felinis. They always went for the people around her. She could think of only two times that hadn't happened. Ugh, those had been some of the worst mistakes in her life.

And considering everything she'd ever done that said a lot.

But, fuck dealing with the problems. Better to hide inside a shell and let her emotional turmoil eat away at her.

Judith rolled her eyes and sighed. "Fine. But, when you're ready to start dressing your age, tell me."

Children should learn to respect their elders.

"And, when you decide to stop dressing like a stripper, tell me." Felinis changed into another outfit. Something closer to what she liked. This was a marine spaghetti strap top with a large pale rosy bow on in the center with white lacy bloomers that barely brushed past her thigh. She blushed. Even with it being closer to something she'd wear it was far from decent.

When she walked out of the dressing room Judith's eyes lit up. "That's perfect. We'll take this." She called out to the shopkeeper who joyfully readied the purchase.

Felinis's eyes widened in protest. "I can't buy this." She tried to think of an excuse. "It's way too cold for anything like this." But, why would Judith care? Judging by her wardrobe the woman didn't even experience cold. "And I didn't bring enough gald." Yes, bring up finances. That usually never works.

Judith obviously didn't care. "That's fine. We never had a welcome party so think of it as gift." Judith looked at the jackets on the rack and found a nice one that matched the bow's color. "And this should keep you warm." She tried to worm her way back into the dressing room only for Judith to drag her along outside. Well, shit. Looks like Judith would force her to actually wear this.

Why did Felinis think that blowing stress by shopping with Judith was a good idea? The Krytian woman caused her so much stress. Felinis was certain that Judith got a thrill out of teasing her. Window shopping was fun and could relax her when she was stressed. And god she was stressed.

Her mind was riddled with horrible memories tied with Leviathan's Claw and Blood Alliance. She didn't want to think about them at all. But, her mind kept sinking back to those eight years. And then further. Man, it really had been a long time. She felt old and a little tired. Not in a worldly way. Just that her soul felt drained. Judith pulled her from her thoughts and the two went about with their browsing. Before she realized it Felinis found herself being dragged to a bar and forced to socialize with other patrons as the sun set.

It was fun.

She hadn't wanted to admit it, but it had been fun. That is till she saw a flash of someone familiar. Someone she was running from.

Felinis didn't give any warning other than telling Judith she had to go. She ran. When she final felt safe she took a closer look at where she was. There were many places Felinis had managed to get herself kicked out of over the years. Be it guilds or pubs Felinis was not welcome in there. Thankfully, Dahngrest was a very large city where she had the luxury of not having every person recognize her on site. No, she was spared from that.

Unless she went to the north-eastern district.

Fuck. BoobsMgee strikes again.

Felinis knew not to blame Judith. There was no way she could have known this was one of the areas where she avoided heavily, because well… make a long story short her attempt once to follow in the footsteps of another friend's method of pursuing men failed spectacularly. This one of the few cases where Felinis wasn't entirely to blame. It was also one of the few times somebody filed a restraining order.

Still, she wasn't infamous. Not everyone knew her immediately, but this was where she had done a lot of guild jumping early on.

"Felinis?" she heard someone call. She knew that voice. Shit. She turned to look at a decent looking man with chestnut hair and smiling eyes. This person she could handle. Sort of.

"Gil! Long time no see." She smiled. Please leave quickly. Gilgamesh was a crush from when she was just starting to run. He was a good guy if not a bit blastia crazy. He was from the Spark guild that specialized in engineering and innovation. The loss had hit them hard, but they had never focused just on blastia. They were making way with different methods.

He walked up and shook her hand. "Yeah, it's been what five, six years?"

"Seven, actually."

"Wow. That long"" He smiled reminiscently. "It's too bad you left so quickly. We only got to have you around a few months." She laughed and did her best to make small talk till finally he walked away. "Felinis, promise you'll come by sometime? It be great for us to hang out."

No. "Sure." He walked away and she huffed a large breath in relief. She leaned against the wall of a nearby building. Felinis got caught in her thoughts and worries again.

"Who was that?" the sudden voice of Judith startled her making her jump and sling out a large chain of swear words. It was a very eloquent moment.

"When did you get here?" she gasped.

"A while ago." She was giving that smug grin. "Who was he?"

"Just an old friend." Judith let out a small 'oh', but didn't try to press further. She was waiting for Felinis to cave and spill her life story in dramatic fashion that would likely result in hijinks. Well, jokes on her. She was telling shit. "Let's go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May your turkey be moist and you fanfic ring true


	13. Skits 3

_Young Love_

(Felinis and Karol are in the skit. She is grinning widely.)

Karol: Felinis what's with that look? You're scaring me.

Felinis: Nothing. Just that you and Nan are so precious.

Karol: Ah- I'm- It's not like that! Quit teasing me!

Felinis: But, it's so nice. Love is such a wonderful thing when you're a kid! I wish I could have had a young late summer romance.

Karol: (sigh) We really aren't… whatever… fine.

Felinis: Just promise that you will enjoy what was robbed from my youth! Let your young love burn brightly among the stars… or something like that!

Karol: Why don't you just do that.

Felinis: (sad laughing) Hahaha. That light burned out long time ago, kid.

 

_So Soon?_

(All characters present, but Felinis)

Yuri: I can't believe it! Not even a year and already some idiots trying to start a war.

Karol: And things were going really well too!

Raven: Can't these bad guys give us a break?

Judith: I don't know. It might be interesting.

Raven & Karol: Interesting?!

Judith: Things have been a little slow around here so maybe some action will be interesting.

Yuri: I get what you're saying Judy, but let's just hope that we can keep the action to a minimum. We don't need another Alexei running around. Especially, right now.

 

_Past_

(No one is present except Felinis)

Felinis: The Blood Alliance and Leviathan's Claw. I'd hoped after the guilds were disbanded I would never have to hear those names again. I guess my past is catching up to me. Or at least people from my past. Blue Chokers? Hmmm. It doesn't ring any bells. Hopefully, he's not involved. Maybe I should go home for a visit. They're probably worried about me. I hope they've been doing well.

 

_Staring Off_

Yuri: Fel? Hey Fel? Fel?

Felinis: Hmmm….

Yuri: Yo! Fel?

Felinis:…

Yuri: HEY FEL!

Felinis: AHHHH!

_Felinis's skit face falls on its side_

Felinis: Would you stop doing that!? Please!

Yuri: Sorry, but you keep spacing out. What were you even thinking about?

_The face stands back upright_

Felinis: FERNS! I was thinking about how nice a fern would be.

Yuri: Oh, yeah. Judy said you wanted a plant.

Felinis: Yep! I love plants! Plants are amazing! Ferns are some of my favorites!

Yuri: You sure are… passionate.

Felinis: Very. So much I just start zoning out thinking about them.

Yuri: … Okay…

 

_Take After_

Felinis: Repede, you're such a good dog! All handsome and lovely!

Repede: Woof!

Yuri: Yeah, yeah, keep bragging.

Felinis: Can you really understand him, Yuri?

Yuri: Of course.

Felinis: That's so cool!

Yuri: Well me and Repede have been through a lot. Plus, he's easy to read once you get the hang of it.

Felinis: Maybe it's because you and him are so alike!

Yuri: What do you mean?

Felinis: There's an old saying that pets and owners take after each other. Maybe you picked up some of Repede's habits.

Yuri: Hey! Shouldn't he be taking after me?

Felinis: I'd say that if it wasn't for the fact your dog is so classy.

Repede: Woof. Woof!

Felinis: Um… but you both have a lot in common though…

Yuri: Like?

_The full body image of a frustrated Felinis clutching her head appears_

Felins: Like… well… your both strong… and really cool… and um. Oh no, I forgot something really important I have to do!

_Felinis exits the scene._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on I believe fern should stand for Fantasizing Erotic and Romantic Nonsense.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by angst! Do you like being emotionally torn apart? Try angst! Angst is the equivalent of eating sour-cream for three straight days while you slowly slip into insanity because your professor still hasn't given you a grade on your final project! Angst is when you curl into a ball of emotional stress because you feel you've disappointed the people you love most in life while eating sour-cream. Angst is sour-cream!

"What do you mean we can't visit Zaphias? You said we could visit after our job in Hypionia." Yuri yelled at Felinis who was going over the books with her thick glasses. "We finished that forever ago so we can leave now."

"That was before I learned we had giant fucking sky whale and thought you guys were gonna be gone a month. Bills have shifted. There is a shift in the balance and therefore we cannot go just yet." Felinis scolded as she adamantly waved her finger. Saying giant fucking sky whale was fun. "Plus, didn't we just learn that Dahngrest is possibly an incident away from a huge war?"

Yuri pouted. "Even more reason to vacation while we still can."

She adjusted her lenses. "That's like saying 'well a giant monster has yet to invade the city so we might as well take the day off and eat waffles'."

Yuri just looked at Felinis like she'd grown a third head. "That makes no sense."

"Only because you lack the foresight to see that if you take a break to eat waffles then the monsters will come and eat all the grain; and then nobody can have waffles on waffles day." It made perfect sense from her standpoint. He still gave her a look. "The answer is still no. There is nothing you can say to change my mind." Actually, if Yuri confessed that he'd like to reenact several of the racier scenes from her favorite novels she'd bend.

He smiled devilishly. "Then I'll go over your head."

Felinis wrote some of her notes. "I already talked about it with Karol. He agreed with me once I made him sit through the logistics." Logistics of course meaning blackmail and heavy teasing. Felinis didn't normally do that, but Karol was young and needed lessons here and there.

Yuri smacked the table. "Damn it!" As his palm harshly collided with the old coffee table the rickety structure fell apart. The inkwell Felinis was using to write with spilled all over her papers and somewhere in the universe an accountant died. Of course, the man died of unrelated circumstances as he was mauled by an Eggbear while on his way to buy some milk. Still, an accountant had just died. "…Woops. Sorry Fel."

Felinis looked at him and then narrowed her eyes in cold fury. "Leave before I impale you on the sharp end of my broom." Yuri quickly backed away and she picked her fallen items up in and stared bitterly at the broken coffee table. Well, there went this month's fern budget along with her records for the months spending. And she was so close too (for both goals). Felinis had even narrowed her choices down to five species of fern. But, now she had to invest in a new coffee table and write new papers.

Ooh, maybe she should start a slow redecoration plan? Yes, bit by bit she would make the guildhall absolutely fabulous! But, for now she would stare bitterly at the broken table and loathe its existence.

For forty minutes.

When the fury finally subsided, Felinis finished her work and let herself cool down. Yesterday was rough. She'd spent the whole rest of the evening thinking back on all her mistakes and trying to burst out in manic laughter like a crazy person. Gil was a more innocent mistake. Felinis had liked him, because of his brain. She liked the Spark guild because it was the opposite of where she had run from.

Action wasn't for her. Felinis wasn't meant for fighting or heroics. It was best she kept to the sidelines and cheered from her desk. But, in a guild with no action and everyone trying so hard to be like family Felinis had felt suffocated. So she ran. She never fantasized about Gil. He was just someone to aspire towards. But, the others were for the same shallow reasons she had now. Gil reminded her that she was a coward. He reminded her that she was useless. And the others reminded her that she had shit taste in men.

And she ran from all of them. Maybe she should just run away now before things got too messy? If she left for another guild or maybe even another city maybe she'd be fine. Perhaps she should get a job at a bar or restaurant? Some of her family friends might be willing to offer her work.

But, who was she kidding?

She wouldn't do that. If she did that meant leaving her safe little bubble. A bubble that had kept her alive and well since he shattered her apart. She sighed heavily. Felinis would wait for that bubble to collapse and for her security to fall, because otherwise she had no reason to leave. She never wanted to leave. But, she would.

All bubbles pop. All races had an end. And everyone on the whole fucking planet either gets destroyed by emotions or conquers them.

Felinis rose from her seat and went upstairs. Tonight was another meeting at the Yuri Lowell fan club and she was not missing out on it.

The four waited for Felinis to leave before starting. "So what is it old man?" Yuri asked as he leaned back in his chair. Felinis would have a fit if she saw this. "You find anything good?"

Raven poured himself a glass of wine and took a sip. Cheap wine was better than no wine. "Not as much as I'd like. From what I gathered these choker wearing fellas are playing it safe. Harry only got his lead 'cause some moron blabbed a little."

Judith sighed. Of course. It was never that easy. "What about Felinis?"

Karol turned his head in surprise. "What about Felinis? She's one of us."

Raven sighed. "I was pretty sure she was safe but..."

"What she do?" Yuri asked sternly. If Felinis was a real threat than he had no choice but to do what was needed for the guild.

Raven pulled out some papers. It had been a pain hunting the loose and broken trail of Felinis's past employment. A fair amount of guilds had closed since she had been a member or some didn't even remember her to begin with. "The girl's got quite a background." Raven had to backtrack multiple times through guilds and districts. Felinis was good at being an anomaly and an enigma. Raven himself didn't want to believe she was a threat, but he knew masks could be so good anyone could be fooled. Everyone started leafing through the papers. "Been kicked out of at least eight guilds due to conflict."

Karol piped up first. "I've been kicked out of lots of guilds. That doesn't mean anything."

Judith put down the papers she had on hand. "Left without notice from almost six others under mysterious circumstance. Sorry Karol, but that seems suspicious."

Raven agreed and added. "One time she assaulted a local noble's son. Fair amount of the guilds imploded after she left." He pointed out some court notices for restraining orders. "Some literally."

Karol wanted to keep faith though that this was all misunderstanding. "But, it could all just be coincidence." Karol looked desperately at Yuri in hopes he could provide a small hope. "And it still doesn't mean she did anything."

"Sorry kid." Raven hated this. But, the fact was the deck was stacked against Felinis. "But, the evidence points towards Felinis being a mole for Leviathan's Claw." He wished the information hadn't lead him here, but it had. "The guilds she worked at that were competing against Leviathan's Claw or Ruins Gate fell apart usually after she left. A lot of the others were supporters. And she's got quite a few restraining orders towards groups in the eastern district." Raven took a large sip of wine. He didn't want to be sober right now. Sure he wasn't well tied with Felinis, but the idea of having a traitor with them hurt.

Karol looked heartbroken. The first person to join their guild was a spy? This whole time Felinis had been managing things! Maybe, she'd been secretly giving this new group information about their routines and locations. Maybe, all the advice she'd given him was just to gain trust. Maybe, that was where Felinis went every night. To tell secrets and plan against them. "What do we do?"

"Let's keep a close eye on her." Yuri said bitterly. "If Fel is a threat I'll cut her down." The raven-haired man sighed. "Until then she's one of our own." He wanted to have faith that this was a more than it seemed. Besides, Repede didn't put his trust in just anyone.

Everyone stood by this idea. Because even if Felinis was still somewhat a stranger they liked what they had gotten to know.

"If Felinis is a spy we'll need to keep her from getting more information on us. But, how?" Karol pondered.

"Well, that's easy. She just needs to not be able to report anything." Judith said. "And if she was out of town there'd be no way to get a report out."

A grin spread on Yuri's face. "I say we visit Estelle in few days."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure why I write anything. I'm not sure if I'm real. The magic eight ball says I'm a mass hallucination of my friends.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karol and Nan are really adorable. I wish the game gave them more moments together. I just love young love. It's so cute. Like puppies in sombreros.

Karol ran a hand through his hair nervously. This had seen like a better idea when he didn't actually have to worry about Nan hating the gift. But, now he was worried that Nan would hate it. He knocked hesitantly on Nan's door for her apartment. He hoped one day Brave Vesperia would be big enough that they'd be able to all have homes or apartments. Karol knew that as happy as they were that eventually they couldn't hold everyone. Felinis had moved in because she didn't have her own home. With what they had learned though that perhaps it was just a lie. He didn't believe it! Felinis was always so nice.

The door swung opening to reveal a gleaming Nan. "Finally! I've been waiting for you!" She pulled him up close and pressed his face to her shoulder. "Do you see it! It's amazing right?"

The tattoo on Nan's shoulder was indeed cool. It was the hunting blades symbol in full detail and color. Two green dragon entwined in flame and blood. "Totally! It's awesome!"

She grinned. "It hurt a bit, but it's worth it! I'm officially an adult." Karol couldn't help being jealous. He wanted to brag back about his own guild symbol. Estelle had helped design one specially for them and it was pretty cool. But, Karol wanted to wait for his rite. Karol didn't like it, but he could manage. "I was about go out and fight some monsters if you didn't show."

Karol tapped his foot and tried his best to follow through on all the advice everyone had given. "Um... so..." He felt his face turn red. "There's this really great café that I know..." Calm down Karol! All he was doing was asking Nan if she wanted to hang out! "And since it your birthday I figured we could- well- I know you said you didn't want to celebrate- but um..."

"Sure. Let's go."

"Wait? What?" Karol felt very dumbstruck. Wasn't this the part where Nan usually brushed him off.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head in frustration. "I said 'let's go'. Now, lead the way before I change my mind."

Karol jumped to attention. "Right." Stiffly, he walked through the streets with Nan and did his best not to look like an idiot. As they made way through the streets he occasionally glanced over at Nan who looked bored. "Um... so... there's also this cool street play Showtime is putting on later."

"We'll go to that too." Nan huffed. "Hold my hand."

"Huh?"

Nan glared at him furiously and grabbed Karol's arm in a twisted vice grip. "I said 'hold my hand'! Stop being an idiot and listen to me when I'm talking Karol." He managed a 'yes' through his pain. They walked the whole way to café like that. Karol felt his face burning in embarrassment along with a dull throbbing pain in his arm. He expected Nan to let go once they entered the café but she held on till they were escorted to a table. He heard a few giggles and coos from the waitstaff. It reminded him of whenever Estelle of Felinis talked about his relationship with Nan. It was so embarrassing.

From across the café in a booth hid four people who were doing their best to not catch the young boss's attention.

"So what are we doing exactly?" Raven said as he watched Felinis and Judith be way too into watching Karol's 'sort of date'. He wasn't too sure what was going on. Only that Felinis and Judith seemed to have concocted the idea yesterday afternoon when Karol had accidently spilled his plan.

"Yeah. I'm with the 'old man' on this one. What are we doing?" Yuri said with parfait in his mouth. Felinis felt herself drool. So much beauty! Please, let him ravage her like that parfait.

"The plan is simple. It's are job to make sure this date is not just successful, but downright adorable!" Felinis said as she made quick rough sketches of Nan and Karol. And then one of Yuri eating that parfait.

Yuri made a look at Raven and Judith as if to say 'Are you sure she's evil?'. "So, why am I here?"

To be sexy back up in case the plan fails. "Shut up. You're getting free food."

"What about me?" Raven asked.

"Cannon fodder." The two girls said in unison.

Judith pulled aside a waiter and whispered something in their ear. "Everything's on schedule." This was possibly the one time that Felinis and Judith were in perfect sync. Although, she had a sneaking suspicion that Judith's intentions were based more in mischief. Whatever. As long as everything ended well.

Karol and Nan sat awkwardly across from each other. "So..." Karol started and rubbed the back of his head. "Kill any big monsters?." That was pathetic.

Nan looked down at the menu. "Yeah. There was a pretty big one we fought recently."

Or maybe not. "Tell me all about!" He exclaimed jumping up a little. Uh, maybe that was a bit much?

Nan's face lit up and she smiled. "Sure." She was so pretty when she smiled like that. His face felt flushed as he listened to her talk enthusiastically about the fight. A waiter came by and delivered a large bowl of ice-cream. "Hey, we didn't order this!"

The waiter stopped and laughed awkwardly. "Well, it's not every day a young lady turns thirteen. Consider this a gift from the restaurant." He walked off quickly before she could protest.

She looked at the bowl then Karol. "You have it." She pushed the bowl in front of him.

"But, it's yours." Karol pushed it back.

"You're already treating me. I don't need it." _Push_.

"But, it's meant for you." _Push_.

'Well, I don't want it!" _Push_.

This went on back forth before they settled on sharing between the one spoon.

Felnis smiled gleefully. "Judith, I like the way you think. Nice work." Cliché, but effective. There's a reason the classics never die.

Judith crossed her arms and smiled. "First comes cute, then comes embarrassment."

Yuri scooped to the bottom of his parfait. "I know it's fun, but don't torture him too much."

Judith gasped playfully. "Me hurt him? Never!"

Raven shook his head. "Two words. Pink dress."

Felinis looked at them curiously. "What was this about a pink dress?"

"See, this one time in Heliord..."

When the cake finally came Karol thought he might die. The cake was possibly one of the girliest things Karol had ever seen. It was pink and white with flowers, hearts, and little strawberries. Nan looked embarrassed by the sight of it. The worst was when the café staff gathered around to sing happy birthday. Karol had begged them to stop and tried desperately to explain that this wasn't supposed to happen. He was lucky to only walk away with a smack to his face and a meal spent in silence.

That could have gone better. So much better.

While they were leaving Nan looked at him bitterly. "Karol, you aren't holding my hand!" And vice grip.

"Sorry! Geez, why do you keep doing that!" He yelped. She dropped his arm and started storming off. Karol ran after and grabbed her. "There! Is this fine?"

She stopped and for a second he could swear he saw pink dust her cheeks. "Yeah. Just, don't forget it next time."

"Okay." For the life of him Karol still couldn't understand girls.

A sigh of relief passed through the group. "Nice save there, kid."

"I was a little worried for a second." Judith smiled looking as the two made their way onward. "I guess we'll have to keep a closer eye on them."

Felinis adjusted her glasses. "Got it! Yuri go buy two- no make three dozen roses. Make sure they're red. White roses can make a person feel insecure. Yellow is cute, but devoid of feeling. Never pink. Pink is pretty to look at from afar, but is overbearing on the mind. If they don't have roses get white daisies."

Raven turned to look at her in confusion. "I thought you just said white was bad."

"Only with roses. Daisies make people feel strange if they happen to be unusual colors. Now, Raven I need you to get a cute stuffed animal, but make sure it's not too girly. It only needs to be twenty percent cute. Think gender neutral."

"That makes no sense." Raven muttered.

Felinis looked at the two them seriously. "I am putting myself emotionally on the line to help this young couple blossom. Now, get moving you two or, I swear to god, I will lecture you on the emotional impact of getting different bouquets of flowers!"

"Yes, ma'am." The two said and headed off. Yuri laughed to himself. For whatever reason Fel really invested in this whole thing. It made it hard to think that she was capable of anything villainous.

"I think you missed your calling as a florist." Judith said.

"Sometimes I think that too. And then I remember I hate dealing with people." And emotions. And life.

This was stupid. She was way too invested. Felinis didn't like to get invested. Things got messy when she was invested. But, she looked at Karol and Nan and thought back to him. She'd had loved to had a guardian angel watching her back then. But, then not even an angel could change what he'd said. If she could, Felinis would like to watch at least Karol be happy.

She stretched her arms and looked up at Judith. "So, let's get this show on the road."

Karol and Nan were at this point just wandering around without a purpose. Showtime's performance wasn't until sunset and there was still a good hour before that. Karol was panicking inside. He hadn't planned for this. What was he supposed to do? What would Yuri do? "So we have a lot time before the show so... well- what do you wanna do? Do you want go anywhere?"

"I want to walk on Market Street." Nan said and Karol complied happily.

Market Street, was a wonderful open market where stands stood selling curios and people performed. It was a fun and lively area. Nan strolled the streets happily. At one of the corners a playfully tune sung from one man's horn while another a hopping guitar. Nan demanded they get closer. Some of the people were dancing around.

Karol watched as Nan tapped her foot in tandem. "Hey, look! Little lady's got rhythm." The man on the Lute said. "Come in little lady! Don't be shy dance." A lady from the crowd pulled her into the center and started dancing. Karol jumped in and the woman handed Nan off.

He took her hand again and the tune shifted. The music became very festive and the crowd started pulling everyone into a dance. The two shrugged their shoulders and laughed as they fell into the dance.

When the music finally stopped Karol realized how out of breath they were. They laughed. And continued down the street unaware of Felinis thanking the musicians.

When the sun was finally dipping below the horizon the two headed for the show. Nan left to get seats while Karol set off for snacks. The troupe was selling snacks in cute bagged sets and Karol took his without question.

Judith was talking with the troupe leader. "Thanks so much for doing this."

The troupe leader waved her off. "Hey, it's no problem. Besides, it's not everyday you get to help with something like this."

Judith peeked through the red curtain at Karol who was now opening the snack bags up to find one contained a stuffed eggbear. Nan looked at swiped it up with a soft thanks. "You're right about that."

As the show went on from both sides everything seemed to be going well. Felinis flipped her attention between the play and Karol. Nan was leaning on his shoulder and the boy was rigid. It was so cute. The poor thing was nervous beyond compare. The play was fun too. A romantic comedy. That had been planned of course. It looked like everything would go well. Good.

An arm wrapped around her shoulder and Felinis looked waringly at the man the arm was attached to. Creepy. She moved it off and the arm placed itself right back. Yuri glanced over and switched seats with Felinis. She did and the man now attempted wrap his arm around Yuri's waist only to receive a harsh jab to his foot and a warning to 'back the fuck off'. A look passed over the man's face and he immediately centered all his attention to the stage. Felinis wasn't sure what to feel. Elated that Yuri came to her rescue or disappointed the pervert had thought he was prettier. Both. Both is good.

When the curtain fell a woman went around selling red roses to the folk in the open theatre plaza. Nan was holding onto the stuffed eggbear and now the roses. Right, Yuri said something about girls liking flowers. He bought one and gingerly passed the flower.

Nan took it and smiled. "Um, Nan?" She hummed a reply. "I don't know if you want it, but I got you a present." He pulled out the tiny wrapped box holding the necklace. "Here."

Nan took the box and opened it wordlessly. She looked it over and put it on her neck. "It's really pretty." Karol felt like something might be wrong with him, because Nan was practically glowing. He was thankful that it was so dark, because right now Nan couldn't see how red his face was. "Thanks Karol. Today was great."

He nodded shyly and sat back down on the bench beside her. "I'm glad." He rubbed the back of his head again. "You know, that you liked it."

"Yeah, let's do this again." She said and the two looked up at the stars. They watched the sky and eventually Karol escorted Nan back home. "Karol." She said her door.

"Yeah?" It was quick and he blacked out for second, but he was pretty sure he got a kiss.

Nan was looking at him furiously. "Stop being an idiot!" She slapped him and slammed the door.

When the moment finally subsided Karol slowly walked away before letting out the biggest cheer in his life.

Yes! Yes, to everything!

Karol ran home and stopped to punch the air more than once. YES! YES! YES!

This might have been the best moment in his life!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG THIS WAS SO MUCH CUTER THAN PLANNED! Just cute and fluff and cute. YESSSSSSSSSSS. I wrote this in a rush so I apologize for the inevitable errors. I'll fix them tomorrow, because at this moment my stepdad is on me to finish up and get off the computer. I hope everyone enjoyed this. Because I enjoyed writing this sooooooooo much. Like I said, Nan and Karol are so cute.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess this will be my last post before Christmas and Hanukah. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday.

_She was back at the bridge. Smiling. Felinis hadn't been smiling lately. Her parents were going through a rough time. Everything would be fine. It always worked out._

_Foolish, childish thoughts. Thoughts of someone who didn't realize the harshness of reality._

_Her birthday was coming up. She'd be thirteen. Technically, her apprenticeship wasn't over. The guild wanted her to train some more before sending her out into the world._

_Felinis heard him long before he sat next to her. She never needed a bell to know where he was. She hugged him tightly. She was happy. He always made her happy. Because, without trying he made her smile. Made her laugh. Made her feel special. Felinis was certain that was what love was._

_So, yes she loved him. Felinis had loved him since she eight. He'd gotten taller lately and his face was starting to lose those child qualities._

_They laughed and talked about simple things. Felinis rang her bracelet and asked for another sparring match. He almost let her win. And that bothered her. Felinis wasn't strong. He didn't need to patronize her. She understood her weakness. But, he kept pretending she was strong._

_Stop doing that! Stop treating her like a child!_

_She wanted to scream at him to just stop. But, Felinis didn't. She wanted him to just be honest. Sometimes honesty was painful. And maybe it would have been best if it all stayed a lie. Lies were easy and sweet._

_They made their way from the bridge throughout the town just having fun. Through the districts and Market Street they traveled in merriment. When he stopped to drop her home she grabbed his hand. This was the first time she was nervous around him. "Hey, once I go on my first job there's something I need to tell you." He looked confused, but he nodded in agreement. "Until then, promise you'll wait."_

_"I guess. Sure." He shrugged and walked off before she could say anything else._

Karol's happiness brought relief to her. Felinis didn't like to involve herself in the affairs of others unless it meant someone like Karol could be happy. A boy like him deserved to have every chance. Felinis had no delusion's that she could have love. It was why she always left when the novelty wore off or the person she was interested found someone. Felinis was a background character.

Felinis slept deeply on her bed muttering odd phrases till a light shaking attempted to wake her. She let out a loud groan and smacked at the hand. According to the orange marmalade it wasn't time to deal with life. Another shake. "Beware of Belgonast the sentient clam!" She cried and rolled in deeper to her blankets. The person waking her up lifted Felinis upright and she groggily looked at Judith. "Is someone dead? If they're not I don't care." And, plop on the bed.

Judith just shook her head. "Come on, wake up."

Felinis huffed in annoyance and sprung out of bed. "What is it? What's up?"

Judith grinned as she started going through Felinis's wardrobe. "Because we're going on a little trip."

Any remaining trace of tiredness left Felinis immediately. "WHAT?"

Judith kept sorting through her wardrobe and stopped at a very pretty black dress. She dropped it in the case. "We're all going on a nice long trip to Zaphias for week."

"You mean, everyone else is going on a trip while I stay here to watch the place! I don't 'go' on trips." Felinis said as she started to unpack the case Judith was working on. "Going on trips means leaving Dahngrest. Which you may not know this; but I don't do that." It became a back and forth struggle to empty the case. "I'm not meant for traveling through monster infested roads. I just watch the desk."

Felinis had never gone outside Dahngrest. Ever. It was dangerous. There were monsters and bandits, and unpredictable things. She didn't do that.

"Well good thing we have a 'giant sky whale' as you put it." Judith sassed and yanked the clothing out of her hand. "So you won't have to worry about that."

Curse thee giant fucking sky.

Quick, think of an excuse. "Well, you see I'm Jewish so I'm forbidden from traveling right now, because of the high holidays that are coming up." Total bullshit. Except the being Jewish part. Some stereotypes never fade.

Judith just shook her head. It was such bullshit."Felinis, just pack. You're coming with us whether you like it or not." She threw in another outfit. "So, stop being a brat."

Felinis pouted and sat on the bed. "You can't make me! I won't let you!" Yes, this was completely immature and stupid. But, Felinis was also emotionally unstable and traumatized by the idea of leaving Dahngrest. "I can't leave!"

"Really? And why not?" Judith said with a look.

"Because... because I have things to do." Like avoid him. Felinis knew his pattern. Knew where he was and how he was fairing. Knowing those things made running easier. And Felinis liked running. He wasn't in town. Right now, she was free to go home for a change. There'd be no worry of bumping into him. There was no one to judge her aside her parents. And boy, did her parents judge her.

Judith stopped and sat next to her. "What will you be doing then?"

No Jewish holidays that's for certain. Yom Kippur was still a few months off. She stayed silent. "Just things." Like self diagnosed therapy. And crying. Lot's of crying.

Judith sighed. "Are they important?"

Felinis hadn't had anything important to do in years. It always came down to running.

"Then pack." Judith said matter-of-factly tossing in another outfit. Yesterday, Felinis was able to have fun with Judith, because they both had the same idea. Today, she was back to hating Judith, because it seemed like the Krytian saw straight through her. "And get rid of this thing."

The 'thing' was a thick old orange sweater that Felinis kept around in case she got too cold. She couldn't blame Judith for hating it. Felinis thought it was fuck ugly as well. But, maturity thy name is certainly not Felinis Feloney. So she packed the sweater in spite.

But, just the sweater. An argument went on back and forth between the two till Felinis decided whatever. The bag could be packed and it wouldn't mean anything.

Judith rolled her eyes and finished packing for Felinis. The manager dressed herself up in a long sleeved white dress with black bow on the front. She tried to make her curls more presentable, but decided to put them in behind a white headband.

Felinis still wasn't leaving. Or at least that was the plan. Constant prodding and pleading coupled with overall annoyance eroded her will. She tried to tell them she was scared. That she couldn't fight. That she didn't want to leave Dahngrest to go to a city run by the Empire.

Because, fuck the Empire.

Felinis gave in when Yuri placed an arm around her shoulder and insisted she try. She didn't want to try. Felinis wanted to stay safe. Judith also threw her over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. So she was forced to surrender reluctantly.

It felt strange. Felinis logically knew there was nothing important or groundbreaking about walking across the bridge out of Dahngrest. She knew, but it still felt suffocating. Felinis didn't have the strength to be a fighter. And after everything she'd learned of herself she was aware that she didn't belong in battles. So she stayed. At one point she thought of going with her father to live in Capua Torim and following in his footsteps. But, like with everything in Felinis's life she was prone to sticking with what she knew.

She felt nothing as Judith crossed the bridge. Except discomfort from laying on a shoulder. But, she panicked when the forest was in front of her. "Is this the part where the monsters come and eat us?"

Karol laughed "Aw, it's not that scary." He took her hand. "Come on. It'll be fine."

Nothing is ever fine! When will these people learn? When Felinis said things were fine that was code for 'oh god, oh god, everything is going boom'. And she was always fine.

Always.

The woods got thicker and Felinis became more afraid. Where was a giant fucking sky whale when she needed it. Sure, nobody had died yet. Yet! And, yes, she was currently traveling with a group of heroes who singlehandedly saved the world. But, she was also in world with no blastia and monsters.

Lots of monsters. They were part of the natural ecosystem.

Eventually they came to a clearing and waited patiently. A deep warbling sound echoed through the air and she stiffened. For the love of all things Jewish please let that be the sky whale. Her eyes widened with fear as a large blue creature came into view. A ship dangled from it's mouth and a rope ladder dangled from the side. It was as everyone tried not describe it as. A giant fucking sky whale.

Holy shit. Don't say the words. Felinis knew better, but they were just sitting on her tongue.

"Giant. Fucking. Sky. Whale."

Any doubts she had in the creatures existence were gone and from the look Judith shot her Felinis guessed she'd been heard.

"Meet Ba'ul."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for anyone who understands Jewish holidays there is a hint of a timestamp for the time of year this is taking place. And yes, this does mean we will finally have some Estelle and Rita. Plus, Flynn. You can't not have Flynn.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is coming to you early, because I have way too much shit too do tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of the things I can do well in life one is walk in high heels on rough terrain. This is because my parents decided I needed to learn how walk in heels and threw out my flats. I went two years going around either barefoot or in high heels. Because, of this I can wear heels pretty much anywhere anytime. It is the stupidest useful gift in the world. Oh, and I cannot whistle.

If it wasn't for the fact that Felinis didn't know how to get back, she would have run when Judith set her on the ground. She had shit direction sense. Plus, at this point Judith was just putting her down to be polite.

Fear boiled in her as she climbed the rope ladder. How did these people do this all the time? Felinis only made it up because of constant prodding and the fear that if she took to long someone would look up her skirt. She collapsed on the deck and started shaking.

"Are you okay?" Karol asked.

No. She was not. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just need to go somewhere where I can't see the ground." And imagine falling to her death.

The boy escorted her below deck where she placed herself on a bed. Felinis stayed there unmoving for a long while. This was terrifying and she felt like vomiting. That was pretty much the only way to explain it. Repede tried to help her calm down, but there was no consoling her.

They came to a stop off-shore from small island for the night. According to Karol they still had a day to go. Great. As everyone in the bed slept Felinis walked on deck to gaze out on the ocean. So, this is what adventurers saw. It was beautiful. Felinis laid back against the ship and smiled. She started singing a song to herself as looked at the stars. It wasn't any song in particular. Just a song she made up on the top of her head. Therefore it was utter nonsense.

"Ya got a nice voice."

Felinis jumped and reached out to slug the person attached to the voice.

Raven leaped away thankfully. "Geez, do ya have to that every time?"

She relaxed and looked down in shame. It wasn't her fault nobody remembered to alert her of the fact they weren't serial killers. "Sorry. Just caught in thoughts." Felinis rested on the railing and looked back to the sky. "Is it always like this?"

Raven looked up. "The sky? Yeah." He leaned back with her. "It's the same every night."

She shook her head. "I mean, is it always this pretty?"

He looked at her puzzled by the statement. "Have ya really never once looked at the sky like this?" Felinis looked at the soft waves below. "Not once?"

No, she had. Just not in a long time. Felinis had never left the barrier so the stars were never this clear. And, she hadn't star gazed since she was a child. Even when other chances came to look at the stars Felinis kept herself looking down. She needed to look out for everything else. There was never time for stars. When the Adephagos came, she looked once up in fear and then back down. And stayed down. Without barriers, new fears bloomed. "I was always busy." She laughed and her bell rang. "Pathetic, right?"

Raven shook his head. "Nah, that's no big deal." He stretched his arm wide popping his joints. "What bothers me is a kid your age isn't out living."

"What's there for me to do?" She sighed. "I'm a desk jockey."

"Oh, please. I bet ya could be a branch manager for Fortune's Market if ya tried." He grinned. "But, ya keep wasting your time on people like us."

Felinis shook her head adamantly. "I want to be at guilds like this. I can't stand boring things like accounting."

"Isn't that you're job?"

Technically. But, it still didn't change the fact that Felinis hated math. "Yeah, and I hate it." She spun around. "I always wanted to be a part-time-warrior-part-time-writer who was also a criminal-mastermind. And maybe the Messiah. I had a lot of goals!" Felinis gave herself some flair at the end before deflating. "None of that ever panned out."

"Why not?"

Felinis shrugged. "Because, my writing is shit."

"What about the other stuff?"

She shrugged again. "It just happened to turn out this way." Felinis muttered softly to herself as her bell rang. "I made a lot of bad mistakes. This was my only option." She turned to Raven who was watching with her. "So why are you up?"

"Same reason you are." He laid down on the deck. "The stars are nice ta watch." Felinis laid down with him and looked at the moon. This was nice.

When morning came Felinis took a little courage and walked on deck as the Fierta flew the rest of the way to Zaphias. She was shaking in her impractical shoes and crawling on the floor. She lasted five minutes before she crawled back in bed for a long time. How did anyone do this?

This whole process was insane.

A knock on the door alerted her to Yuri. "Hey."

"Hey." She looked at the bed because right now she was trying hard not to focus on the motion sickness she was also dealing with.

"We'll be landing soon so get ready."

Felinis sat up a bit too quickly and had to steady herself. Vomiting was never on any sane human's agenda. "Already?" They'd only been flying for half a day. "Wow, that was fast."

"Ba'ul makes good time." Yuri grinned proudly. "And, he made sure to get us to Zaphias quickly since you're scared."

So this trip normally took longer? Felinis didn't think she could handle it if she had to make a long trip on this ship. Her anxiety was already strong enough to strangle her. Plus, her stomach wanted to crawl outside her body so it could dance on the floor. "I'll be sure to thank him."

"You okay, Fel?" Never, but that was beside the point. "You look green."

"I'm fine." She swallowed a back bile when the boat gave a large lurch. "But, I've come to understand that I was not meant to ride flying boats." A phrase many don't expect to say in their lifetime.

"Seasick?"

"Probably." If somewhere in the divine cosmos a god existed to rescue Felinis from this pain it wasn't happening. With her luck, they were on lunch break and would be till the end of time. And the bile just flows back up. Mmm. Taste that stomach acid!

Yuri rubbed her back in a consoling manner. This was both sweet and pathetic. "Need a bucket?"

"No!" She was not going to vomit in front of anyone. Felinis had spent years controlling her uneasy stomach that came from high anxiety. She could handle this. "Just tell me when we land!" He nodded and left Felinis with Repede who was now inching away. "Wow, Repede. That cuts deep."

At last the time came for them to disembark the S. S. Giant- _Fucking-_ Sky-Whale which was somehow more terrifying than getting on. Which was amazing, because it was practically the same actions as before only this time with more dread. But, then again going up is easy and doesn't require effort. Going down is another story. When going down she had to think even if the thoughts were tiny. Thinking breeds fear. It took awhile, but she made it down the ladder to the ground of a large grassy field.

Felinis didn't see a town in the immediate vicinity and that worried her. "Where's Zaphias?"

"Not that far off. We try to stay away from cities since some people get a little scared when they see Ba'ul." Judith said throwing Felnis her things. "So we'll have to walk a bit, but we'll be there soon."

So she had to walk through monster infested plains? Great, as if this trip couldn't get any better. Felinis looked up at the giant sky whale. "Thanks for the lift. It was nice." It was a good thing Felinis stuck with wearing dresses for her legs would be aflame. She shouted upwards and hoped the sky whale understood. Judith was always speaking with the creature, but then Judith was also a Krytian. And, Krytians were weird. Very weird.

The deep echo of Ba'ul's voice filled the air. "He says 'that he's glad you liked it'" Judith smiled. Yep, weird.

The walk was long. Almost an hour and Felinis had to use her one gift of walking in impractical shoes to the highest caliber. Heels were not meant for traversing this ground, yet somehow Judith pulled this off with ease. Felinis needed practice. She also needed to get in shape, because to her this walk was exhausting. She'd never been much of an athlete even back when she still had dreams of being swordswoman. Physical movement and sweat weren't her thing. Especially dancing. Dancing was a no. Felinis had the grace of a two legged rappig.

By some miracle, they hadn't run into any monsters. Which was good. No monsters. No death. Felinis spotted the city a while ago, but now that it was coming close the size was beginning to weigh on her. Felinis had heard over the course of her many years as a guild hopper of Zaphias. She always heard of its towering nature and glorious structure. Of how something in the way it lay upon the earth was intimidating. She thought it was a silly way to describe a town, but looking at in now... yeah, she got it. If Felinis could whistle she would.


	18. Skits 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: I'm sorry this is so short, but I have not time. Classes are starting back up and I've been trapped in airport hell all day. Please enjoy this. I'll get back soon.

_Meeting Ba'ul_

Judith: So, now that you've met all Ba'ul what do you think?

Felinis: I think I feel seasick.

Judith: What do you mean?

Felinis: It's just that, he's cool and all, but the swaying is making me queasy. But, he's pretty cool. Much cuter than I thought he'd be.

Judith: He says 'thank you'.

* * *

_The Fierta_

Felinis: I think this might be my first time seeing this ship.

Karol: Oh, right! This your first trip.

Yuri: Yeah, we usually keep it parked in Capua Torim.

Felinis: It's a nice boat. How'd you get it?

Karol: You see, for our first job we were hired to protect the ship from merman. Since we were so awesome they gave us this ship!

Felinis: That's amazing!

Yuri: It also might have been because when we got her she was a junker.

* * *

_Attack from Above_

Felinis: Hey Judith, are there any monsters that fly this high?

Judith: Not that I can think of. Why?

Felinis; Well, what if a swarm of flying monster came out of nowhere! How would we attack them?

Raven: Ya, got a point. But, I doubt anything is gonna be flyin 'round here.

Judith: It would be a problem if monsters did attack us while we were in the air.

Raven: Luckily Ba'ul keeps us safe.

Felinis: I guess nothing would try and attack him since he's so big.

* * *

_A Long Walk_

Felinis: Ughh…ughhh…

Karol: What's wrong Felinis?

Felinis: It's such a long walk. Is it always like this?

Karol: Well, yeah. Most guilds aren't as lucky and have to walk the whole way on foot. So this is nothing.

Felinis: If this is a short walk I hate to think of a long one.

* * *

_Impractical_

Yuri: Hey, Fel aren't those shoes hard to walk in?

Felinis: Only a little. I'm used to walking in heels. Judith, does it too.

Yuri: I've noticed. Aren't they a little impractical?

Felinis: Yeah, they are, but for me they're a necessity.

Yuri: Really? What are they for?

Felinis: To hide the fact I'm so short.

Yuri: You don't seem that short to me.

Felinis: That's 'cause the heels are working.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I wonder if this fanfic is actually worth reading. I know people do, but I still wonder. I think that of all my work though. I know this fic is riddled to hell with errors. I never learned proper grammar so I have more mistakes than I like to admit. I'm glad some of you like this.

Flynn liked to think at times that paperwork was invented because mankind hated itself.

A lot.

He sighed and went through another document. This one was about supplies for the troops. Great, just what he wanted to read. He started looking over the paper when a knocking came from behind. Oh, thank the Goddess. He turned to see that familiar cocky grin. As usual excellent timing. "One day you'll be forced to use the door Yuri."

"And, it'll probably be 'cause I broke my leg." Yuri said yanking the paper from his hands. "Geez, every time I come here you're reading one of these. Do you just wait with one in your hands?"

"Yes, all the time." Flynn grabbed the paper back and placed it back inside the folder. "Actually, all these reports are just love letters from my fans."

Yuri feigned shock. "What! And none for me?"

Flynn shook his head and shrugged. "Sorry, Yuri. You're just so unlovable."

Yuri collapsed dramatically on his lap. "Not even you?"

"Not in the slightest." Flynn pushed Yuri off and stood up. They both burst out laughing. He'd missed Yuri. The two didn't see each other nearly enough. "So, what brings you here this time?"

Yuri had missed Zaphias. Dahngrest was nice but it wasn't home. He also missed everyone else. Sure, most of the gang was together in Dahngrest, here Estelle and Flynn were a stone's throw away. Yuri told Flynn about everything going on back in the guild city and Flynn told him about the state of affairs in Zaphias. He hadn't seen Flynn in a few months and even then, it wasn't that long. A good week together would be nice.

"Is Rita around?" Estelle was currently staying in Zaphias despite her desire to move to Halure. She was still needed here. Rita on the other hand was now living with the remaining Aspio mages in the city of blossoms. Both were working hard. Estelle even wanted to visit when there was time. There was so much to do though.

Flynn thought it over and tried to recall if Rita was there. "I don't believe so. Why?"

"Just wondering if the gang was all here." Flynn called for some lunch while Yuri got himself comfortable. "Oh, right. There's someone new tagging along with us."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she's a giant stick in the mud like you so you'll get along."

Flynn turned his head. "So who's this 'stick' you brought?"

"She's that manager I told you about."

"The creepy one?" Yuri nodded. "I thought you said last time that you didn't like her much."

Which was still true. Fel was sort of creepy without even trying. Her eyes always followed him and something about her paranoia after a while became unsettling. And, he still knew next to nothing about her. The only things he had were small and insignificant to the person as a whole. He had tried to be social with Fel, but her constant avoidance made her grating. When she had gone out of her way to help Karol he was amazed. Fel had never done anything like that before. It was fun to see that side. But, he doubted he would see that kind of thing anytime soon. One minute, seemed normal and the next she was back to being creepy. "I still don't. But, right now we're a little worried she may be tied in what's going on in Dahngrest. Raven thinks she might be a spy."

"And you?" Flynn took the lunch trays from the servant. "What do you think is really going on?"

"If Fel's a threat she's really good at hiding." Yuri opened his tray and started digging in. "I'd like to think she's harmless."

"But, somethings got you on edge."

"Fel says she's never fought before, but when she attacked Raven with a broom her stance was on point." Yuri bit into his food. "But, maybe I'm just being paranoid." Besides bringing her along with them gave them a good excuse to hang out.

There is no such thing as being too paranoid. Felinis had learned that after years of running. So, she followed behind the others closely and looked at everyone with dread. "Felinis, there's no need to worry. The people in the Lower Quarter are nice."

That's a lie. There was no way everyone in this place was a good person. It was statistically impossible. Felinis trusted statistics. She let herself conjure frightening imagery as she walked through the streets.

The air of Zaphias was crisper in than back home. The lack of humidity made her feel odd. Everything about the city was different from home. From the canals running through the street, to the the building pressed into each other, to the layered structure of the Quarters.

It was so bizarre. So, very bizarre.

Yuri had bolted once they entered the city off to do whatever. There wasn't even time to catch up with him.

"So..." Felinis let out a small screech as she jumped out of someone's way. "Where are, we going?"

"We're going to drop our stuff off at an inn and then see about visiting Estelle." Karol chimed.

Okay. But, still one question lingered in Felinis's mind. Who was Estelle? Nobody had given her any clues and like always Felinis was afraid to ask. It was a really bad habit. One she would like to fix. Context told her that Estelle was a girl from the groups saving the world days. Other than that, Felinis wasn't sure on anything.

They stopped in front of run-down hotel at the side of the road. Felinis cringed a little. Here? Really? Felinis had no qualms with the fact this wasn't the ritzy or very nice part of town.

But… well… umm…

This was the slums. The nice part of the slums, but still the slums.

As saviors of the world wouldn't want to go to a nice inn? Felinis followed behind shyly as the other party members did all the talking. The people inside greeted them kindly and a few children running about pestered Felinis with earnest curiosity. Simple, questions came from them and she chuckled and played with them a little while she waited. At some point, she was pulled to the innkeeper and had to introduce herself. There wasn't a moment to stop. Each second seemed to involve her greeting someone new. Being friends of Yuri carried a lot of weight here.

Felinis wasn't quite sure why. After all, the empire claimed defeat of the world plaguing monster. As far as they were concerned the commandant did everything. But, then, this was Yuri's home. In the area Felinis grew up everyone knew her so might it be the same for him? Yes. That would make sense. She smiled inwardly.

What a wonderful family. They had already dropped off their things, but it seemed they would be held up with other people. Felinis listened attentively to the old man named Hanks. He was telling stories and the group was sitting around in the tavern. This was nice. So, this was Zaphias. Once more Felinis wished she could whistle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still very short on free time.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the wheel of plot turns

_"_ _Isn't it great Felinis?" Her mother cooed as a Felinis sat in the living room of her childhood home. She hated this memory. "Your brothers been accepted to be a mage in Aspio!"_

_She nodded solemnly. "Yeah, it is" Felinis looked at her brother. Randel, or Randy as he preferred, was a weedy sort of boy. Tall, but not too tall. Lanky, but not skinny like Felinis. He's a goober through to his core and this is the happiest moment in his life. He's seventeen and he's been accepted to train in the city of mages despite his background. He's been working towards this his whole life. Her brother is brash, unsympathetic, logical, uptight, immature, and a giant goober._

_Yet, Felinis envies him with all her heart. Randy has the strength to do something she could never do._

_This is the happiest he might ever be. The look on his face makes it hard for her to be mad. "Congrats Goober." They're laughing and smiling together. Then Mom walked off..._

_Randy stops smiling wide with his teeth and looks at her quizzically. "Hey, when are you going to get a real job?"_

_It cuts deep. Felinis has heard the words before in some other form, but it's the first time they've ever been so raw. "I do have a real job. I'm working very hard at my guild."_

_"_ _That's not what I mean." He sighs. "When, are you going to stop pretending to be some dumb bookkeeper and actually set to do what you wanted? You're not a kid anymore."_

_Felinis sucks in a deep breath. She tries to pretend she's fine. Being fine has always worked for her. Good is shaky. Good can break. Fine is finite. "Shut up." It's not angry or provocative, just a statement. "I don't want to do that stuff anymore."_

_"_ _So, you'll just keep changing jobs and moving back in a few weeks just to move back out? What happened to you?" Randy says and then he looks at her harshly. They're the eyes of a brother who once thought his sister knew everything. Of a boy who thought his sister once as strong and capable, but had watched her whither over the years. Of someone, someone who was losing faith. "You're wasting everyone's time with this. Not just your own."_

_"_ _What if I don't care?" she whispers to herself and curses the boy's Krytian hearing._

_Randy casts her one last glance. "Then that's up to you."_

_When their mother comes back into the room the cycle repeats much the same. It's more sugary from her, but it's fine. Felinis has always had a strong sweet tooth. She knows what they're saying is the truth. She knows it all. But, now she's a coward. A coward who wants to blame others for their own distraught, but is just smart enough to know it's foolish. Felinis wants to run from home again. Go back to the guild she's at and watch others. Because, she doesn't want to face herself._

_Because… she's too afraid to face him._

Felinis got up abruptly for the bathroom leaving everyone. Hanks looked at everyone with a knowing face that wasn't quite a smile, but not a frown. "She seems like a nice girl."

Karol nodded. "Yeah, she pretty great." He tried to hide the hint of bitterness on his tongue. Suspicion had started perking in the young boy's mind. Karol didn't like to think of it too much, but sometimes he wondered if the reason Felinis was always listening was that it was her other job.

"I'm worried I might have scared her." Hanks said glancing the way Felinis had run. "She's the skittish type."

"Skittish?" Karol hummed. "Yeah, she is."

"Take care of her. She's had a hard life." Wisdom from the elderly is a thing that is often taken for granted or cherished. In this circumstance, it was pondered extensively.

Judith was the one to take a keen interest to the statement. "Oh? Why do you say that?"

"Lower Quarter is a hard place to live in. People live hard lives and once you live with people like that you get a sense." Judith rolled the thought in her mind. "You see her type all the time. Someone dolled up and smiling like a fool." There was the tired sigh that came from a person who had seen too much. "If you can, keep her. Just keep her and make her happy."

Hanks was a man who had lived in the worst part of the city. A man who knew the dirtiest parts of the Lower Quarter all too well. Felinis reminded him of the girls. The ones who forced themselves to do terrible things or had done to survive. Who dressed up with smiles and the best clothes they could manage to say to the world they were happy. Girls who nobody thought anything of until they found the body. Hanks saw them too often for his liking. The only cure he knew to help a person like that was work. If a person is busy they have no time to ask where to get the rope.

When more than ten minutes passed and Felinis had yet to return everyone started to worry. Karol immediately went to check the room while Judith decided to follow Repede.

Felinis didn't want to admit that she was lost, because if she did she would start crying for her mother. She had only meant to go a short distance to get some fresh air, but now was lost. Incredibly lost. Felinis had of course asked for directions back to the inn, but had somehow managed to get turned around each time. Felinis had shit sense of directions if she didn't thoroughly know the area prior. It was the only reason she didn't get lost (as often) in Dahngrest.

She found herself wandering around in area that looked much nice than the part of Zaphias she was in before. Felinis kept moving despite getting further lost through the streets in fear of anything bad happening. Under her breath Felinis was letting out a mantra of "okay" to convince herself she was fine. But, she wasn't and she'd been lost now for at least fifteen minutes.

Giving up in grave defeat Felinis let herself start to turn in circles. From the sides of the streets some of the knights gave her wry looks and seemed to be argue over which one should help the young girl who was now digging circles into the ground. One of the knights gave out a muffled huff only by this point Felinis was now circling another area.

In her constant turning Felinis did not pay attention to the woman who walked by and knocked into her. The two looked to each other and quickly began long streams of apologies and other niceties. The woman she bumped into, a clearly well off lady a bit younger than she, asked if something was wrong.

"I'm lost. Do you know where the Comet inn is?" Felinis felt a bit silly asking someone from the noble class, but maybe the stranger could give her any sort of hint. "Ya see… I'm kind of… hopelessly lost."

"Don't worry. I can take you." The noble lady grasped her hand enthusiastically and Felinis wondered if there truly was some greater being looking out for her. Felinis thanked her heavily and her savior laugh. "So, are you from out of town?"

"Yeah, I was dragged along on a trip." They walked through the long streets down the way. "I've never even been outside my hometown before." Felinis laughed awkwardly as they took another turn. "It has me terrified."

A smile graced the pink-haired noble face. "I understand." They walked down another street. "Where are you from?"

Felinis rubbed her head nervously. She was a little concerned with announcing she was a guild girl. "Nowhere special." Bounding from a distance came the sight of Repede and Felinis felt relief. "Repede!" She ran up and ruffled the dogs fur gratefully. "Thanks for finding me! You're such handsome fella."

The noble girl was now confused. "How do you know Repede?" She approached the warrior dog who stayed from her touch and walked away from Felinis.

"How do you know Repede?"

A shout from the distance was heard and a breathless Karol came bounding forward. "Repede, wait up!" Felinis noted the way her boss's eyes lit up at the sight of the noble girl. "Estelle!"

Wait, this was Estelle? Felinis looked closer at her and suddenly felt all hope inside her shrivel and die. How was she supposed to compete with this? Estelle looked like a princess and if Yuri was interested in her then all hope was lost. Not, that she had much to begin with. Felinis mostly fantasized and pretended she had a chance. She couldn't even pretend with Estelle.

Estelle was overjoyed to see Karol, but was now confused by Felinis. It was a quick explanation and everything was sorted out. "I saw Yuri with Flynn so I figured everyone might be here." Estelle still gave a large smile to her. "But, I didn't know there'd be someone new with you. It's great to see that Brave Vesperia is expanding." Felinis just grinned and pretended all was fine. She was good at that.

"Where is Yuri anyway?" Felinis asked. The man had been gone for some time.

"He's with Flynn at the palace. I figured the two could use the space." Was she always this pleasant? If so Felinis thinks she might go insane. Pleasant people had that effect. "It's been so long after all."

Judith looked over to Felinis and smirked. "Is Rita around?"

A frown dipped on Estelle's face and she shook her head. "No. She's very busy in Halure."

And, now another name drops into the fray. Only this time Felinis knew who they were talking about. Among the rumors and tales that spread of Brave Vesperia's deeds one of the names that was mentioned was Rita Mordio. The grand mage of Aspio whom she had also heard of from her brother's once a year letter. Randy usually did not have nice things to say about her. Felinis thinks a deep friendship must stand for the mage and Estelle.

The group decides that streets aren't a good place to be loitering in and moves to follow Estelle. Felinis notices the abrupt shift from the pourer and middle class roads and buildings to large estates and wealth. Rich people always have nice things. Why couldn't she have nice things? Like a cat? Felinis would love a cat. And, fern. She still really wanted a fern.

A gasp took her breath as instead of stopping at one of the ornate mansions they started walking up the steps of the palace. Felinis staved her nerves and walked along following the group with stiff steps. Just breath and pretend this is normal. This wasn't normal. Felinis looked at the knights moving about and swallowed. Knights were okay now so there was nothing to worry about. None of them would come and stab her in back and then slowly gut out her insides. Right?

Second thought, Felinis didn't want to know. Knowing made her nervous, which was something doctors had told her to stop doing. The nervous part that is.

She flittered with her bracelet making tinkling noises that echoed through the grand halls. Beautiful building. It made her think of a museum. Felinis stopped when her flittering launched the bracelet from her wrist and she was forced to stop and look for it. The group went on without aside for Repede who stayed behind. They weren't too worried about anything happening. The dog was more than capable of babysitting her.

Felinis looked on the floor and knelt to pick up the bracelet adjusting her glasses so she could better see it on the shiny floor. Where was it? Repede pointed his head toward the wall and Felinis smiled in relief.

Estelle poured tea for everyone as they all sat to talk and catch up. "Repede really likes Felinis."

There was a tone of jealousy to her voice. Estelle had been trying so hard to get the warrior dog to let her pet him, but he still avoided her touch. Karol did his best to assure her that Felinis was just good with animals. "Plus, she's always giving Repede treats." Maybe Estelle should try that.

"Are you sure we shouldn't get her?" The princess asked noting that Felinis hadn't caught up to them.

"She'll be fine." Judith took a sip. "Felinis is capable of taking care of herself."

Estelle still didn't think it a particularly great idea, but gave a reluctant nod. "If you say so." The group talked about the state of affairs and their latest adventures. Estelle talked of the progress of her book and how much she missed the freedom of travel. The princess was looking forward when the state of the empire was finally stable enough that it did not need her assistance. That day was far off, but Estelle could wait. The mention of a group that seemed against the union came as a surprise. Civil unrest was still thriving in parts of the empire and they hadn't seen the worst yet, but the guilds had seemed stable. Estelle wondered what the ploy was.

She could understand the idea of toppling the nobles, but the guild union was a mostly democratic system and very just. What would one gain by toppling it?

The mention of the newest member of Brave Vesperia being a spy also came as surprise. Felinis didn't seem like that.

At that very moment, unknown to the any of the heroes of the world Felinis was crying in a jail cell. As she curled on the bed Felinis thought for not the first time that day that she needed to reevaluate her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so the wheel of plot turns


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long story short, I have no time right now and barely was able to get this done

It wasn't her fault.

That was the thing Felinis kept assuring herself. She just had shit luck. And, knights were assholes. Yeah, that was it. Felinis hadn't done anything. Aside from insulting the guards when they carted her off to jail. And, kicking one in the nuts.

Apparently, Felinis looked suspicious as someone the knights had never seen and was clearly a civilian. She had tried to explain that she was with Brave Vesperia, but the knights didn't buy it. Felinis tried to point out Repede, but the dog apparently meant nothing to them.

Fuck the empire.

A statement that would always ring strong and true in Felinis's heart.

So, here she was in a jail cell in Zaphias. Alone and praying that she could work this out before anyone saw her. Felinis may be a pathetic stalker trying to hide her scars by living vicariously through other, but she had a sense of pride. Yes, it was the size of ant, but it was there and that's all that matters. Once more. Felinis tried to convince the guards to let her out. Being seen in a jail cell would kill her inside.

"Look, just go ask. They'd totally clear my name."

The knight was probably rolling his eyes behind the helmet. "Look, kid I'm not sure how you got in, but lying is only gonna get you in more trouble."

"I'm telling the truth!" And, she was not a kid. Felinis stopped being a kid ages ago. "Please, if they see me here it'll be totally embarrassing and then Judith will laugh at me." And, Karol would probably be disappointed with her. Hell, Felinis was disappointed with herself.

"I don't care."

Felinis pouted and merely glared at the guard before pulling out her best puppy face. "Please? I don't want to disappoint them."

The guard turned his back. So, she was stuck here. Great. Felinis looked at her wrist and felt her stomach twist. Without the bracelet, it just looked empty and sad.

Estelle finally spoke up again after more than ten minutes had passed and Felinis had yet to make an appearance. "She's been gone a really long time."

Karol paused and looked at the door. "You're right. Wonder what happened?"

Judith stood up and stretched. "I'll go look for her." She left the room to hunt down the manager who was probably lost somewhere in the palace. Judith strode across the halls searching for her, but found her nowhere to be seen. Judith stopped to ask a palace guard if they had seen her only to find nothing. Interesting.

Knowing what she did about Felinis, the girl was either in trouble or silently things watching from afar. For a girl wore a bell she was a very silent person. Unless, of course, somebody got her talking. Felinis seemed to think that she was good at keeping things to herself. Most times she was, but when her mouth opened Felinis would accidently let things slip. Little bits that Judith had been collecting.

The Krytian had a good idea about who Felinis was behind her smile. It amused Judith how much she tried hide things and stay well composed. She had no doubt that when the girl finally dropped whatever act Felinis was trying to put on the two would get along. But, Judith was patient and could wait.

Judith walked around more eventually bumping into Yuri and Flynn. She noted how Repede was at their side sitting happily. "Judy? What you doing over here?"

"Looking for our tag along. I think she's lost." Judith knelt at Repede. "I thought you were supposed to be watching her?" The god yawned and Judith saw a glint in his teeth. Judith picked up the odd bracelet and slipped it on for safekeeping it was very old and probably well loved.

"Hey, Flynn, if the knights saw someone unfamiliar walking around they'd throw 'em in jail, right?" Yuri said.

"Probably."

"I think we have our answer." Yuri shrugged. "Fel's probably in one of the cells."

Flynn let out a sigh. "Let me take care of this."

Yuri slapped him on the back. "Thanks. Pays to be friends with the commandant." Flynn rolled his eyes. He walked onward towards the jails a little bothered that he'd have to get one of Yuri's friends out of jail. On the other hand, it showed Flynn that his knights were doing their job.

Upon entering the knight on duty who had clearly been slacking a bit in his duties straightened himself. "Commandant! Sir!" He said in a shaky voice.

"At ease." Yuri chuckled behind him as the knight struggled to make himself not come off as tense. "I was wondering if you'd brought a woman in? She's... uh Yuri how would you describe her?"

"Small, curly hair, glasses." Yuri stated flatly.

"You'll have to be a bit more specific."

"Could probably pass for twelve." Yuri added.

The knight nodded in understanding "Oh, that one. Yeah, she's back here."

"Great, I'd like you to release her at once." Flynn couldn't help, but wonder what kind of person this was. What were they like? Obviously, they were young or at least looked that way. The knight ran off with a quick salute to get the girl. A minute later he came back dragging an unhappy Felinis and Flynn finally got a look at this mysterious girl. She was cute, downright adorable even. Kind of like a small animal.

The knight let her go and Felinis flipped him off subtly. Felinis looked up at Flynn and a look of dread crossed her face. Oh, right. Guild girl. Probably not a fan of him. She fidgeted her hands rubbing at her left wrist. "Um… so you're probably Flynn." She chuckled awkwardly. "This is a very awkward meeting."

Flynn laughed. "No. It's all right things like this happen."

She shook her head adamantly. "No, it's absolutely not. You're one of Yuri's dearest friends and I wanted to meet you under the best possible circumstance." Felinis smiled and gave a little bow. "Still, thank you for helping me. My name is Felinis Feloney manager of Brave Vesperia and it's an honor to meet you."

"The pleasures all mine." Flynn smiled as he bowed back. "Flynn Scifo commandant of the imperial knights." This was the creepy manager? Aside from seeming a little nervous she didn't seem that odd. Yuri was making an odd look and Flynn wondered what was running through the man's head. Felinis seemed perfectly normal.

Just keep smiling and hope he doesn't notice. Oh god. Felinis made herself look like an idiot in front of Yuri's best friend. This was almost as bad as… No, she refused to think back on that time. Those were dark days. The horror. So, this was Flynn Scifo. He's pretty hot. Not Felinis's type, but hot. Yes, he was handsome and made her think of shields and steel. A nice complement to Yuri. She wanted him for her fantasy threesome!

Just think of them riving together in bed crying her name as they ravage her. Bunny ears! Bunny ears would make it even sexier. Yes, the boys would be Felinis's fuck bunnies and she the carrot farmer ready to harvest… And, now the fantasy was kind of gross.

Note to self: stop adding farm elements to fantasies, because each time it gets even creepier.

Flynn was now confused as Felinis seemed to not be mentally present in the room in the slightest. Yuri sighed. "Every time. Does nobody else find that even a little bit weird?" He flicked at Felinis's cheek. "Fel?" Flynn watched the manager practically leap out of her shoes with an 'eep'. "Thinking about ferns again?"

Felinis recomposed herself very quickly. "Yes." She looked at her left wrist again sourly. "Did any of you see my bracelet? It fell off."

Judith slipped it from her wrist and handed it Felinis who jumped with joy. "Thank you!" She slipped it on and listened for the familiar jingle. Felinis knew that she'd be better off forgetting the bracelet and those times entirely. If she let herself go she'd be free, but she didn't want that. Freedom was scary and this was familiar. With this, she knew what was ahead. The bell warned her and comforted her. It reminded her that the old times were dead. It reminded her that she was still tied to him.

"That's a Lomure bracelet from Halure, if I'm not mistaken?" Flynn said noting the bell. He'd seen them on pilgrimages. Shopkeepers always tried to pawn them off on unwitting knights. Felinis gave a small nod. "Then, by chance have you been?"

"Oh, no. Never." Felinis said bashfully. But, she'd wanted to at one point.

Yeah, this girl wasn't creepy. Absent minded perhaps, but not creepy. He wondered what put Yuri off about her. Then Flynn noticed how her eyes seemed to look past him onto Yuri and he wanted to laugh. Ah, that was it. A playful smirk passed his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughh normally I would make funny jokes but I have so much shit to do right now. See ya next week where hopefully things have calmed down.


	22. Skits 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> too much shit to do fml

_Guilds and Knights_

Flynn: Miss Felinis, I’d like to know as a citizen of Dahngrest what you think of the empire?

Felinis: I sort of… really hate it.

Judith: Even now?

Felinis: Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, you’ve done some good, but the idea trusting you guys is thin at best.

Flynn: Hmm. I see. Maybe, I should make more attempts to better relationships with the union?

Felinis: That’s not. It’s simply my Dahngrest pride. Putting my faith in the empire seems unnatural, is all. But, I know you guys are good!

Flynn: I’m glad to hear it.

 

_Sort of Cute_

Flynn: So, this is the manager that gives you the creeps?

Yuri: Yeah, and?

Flynn: She’s not what I was expecting.

Yuri: What were you expecting?

Flynn: This tall twiggy person with a huge rat’s nest of hair and heavy bags under their eyes. The kind of person you expect to be a serial killer that watches you while you sleep with an axe on hand. Only, Miss Felinis is small and fluffy. She pretty cute.

Yuri: Cute? I guess she is in that little kid way.

Flynn: You’re terrible.

 

_Inches_

Flynn:…Hm…. You’ve grown a bit since the last time I saw you Karol.

Karol: That’s right! I grew a whole inch. I’m that much taller.

Flynn: (chuckle) You’re growing like a weed.

Felinis: I know. We’ll have to get you bigger clothes before long. Maybe you’ll end up taller than Yuri in few years.

Karol: You think so?

Flynn: Sure, beating Yuri will be easy. And, then you can challenge me.

Felinis: But, aren’t you two the same height.

 

_Princess_

Estelle: Felinis what are you so nervous about?

Felinis; Well, it’s just that you’re a real-life princess.

Estelle: Even so I’m still the same as you. Please don’t think me special.

Felinis: No… what I meant was…

Estelle:...?

Felinis: You have a lot of really super fancy dresses, right?

Estelle: Yes. Would you like to see them?

Felinis: If you’ll let me.

 

_Whereabouts?_

Felinis: Hey, where’s Raven? I haven’t seen him in a while.

Yuri: Who know. Probably off doing whatever. Maybe, he’s off visiting his old brigade.

Felinis: Brigade?

Yuri: Guess we never mentioned it, but the old man was once a captain in the knights.

Felinis: One of these day I need to sit you all down so I stop getting all these out of nowhere surprises.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Haha. I haven't gone out socializing in almost two months. I'm afraid to leave my room. College is terrible. I wanna cry. But, somehow I'm happy.

“Miss Felinis, if you don’t mind me asking, do you have any hobbies?” Flynn asked as he pulled out a chair for her to sit down in. She nervously sat down and flittered with her bracelet.

God, why was he being so intrusive? If Felinis had known she’d be forced to speak this much she might have preferred the jail cell. Flynn was up to something. “Not much. I sketch a little. And, read.”

The man smiled and Felinis thought her stomach might vomit out and eat her. Did this guild specialize in having friends that sparkled like magical snowflakes? Never in Felinis’s whole life did she think she’d being eating with the commandant in a run-down inn in Zaphias. She’s never even dreamt it.

Mostly, because ‘fuck the empire’.

Estelle’s eyes lit up. “What books have you read?”

Felinis tried to make herself smaller against the chair. “Not many.” Books were a rich people luxury and Felinis only ever had a few. “But, I really like the _Tales of The Jade Planet_ series.”

Estelle gave her a stern look. “Who’s your favorite character?”

“The Bloody Twin.” Felinis grinned.

“What! But, he’s so awful. All broody and stuff.” Estelle pouted.

“That’s what makes him hilarious.”

“No way. The Amber Knight is clearly the best character!”

Yuri eyed over at Flynn who was listening to the now raging debate earnestly. He kept eating while the two girls eventually set into a mutual, but tense quiet. Apparently, nothing set a feud like an argument between fans. Flynn sparked the conversation up again with more trivial questions that Fel would attempt to brush off.

Yuri leaned back and enjoyed the show. Poor Fel looked like she desperately wanted to go back to being the girl who said nothing and ran the desk. Yuri would say he felt guilty about using her like this, but he wasn’t. Yuri had wanted a vacation so he’d pulled his strings to get one. Fel stood and walked from her empty plate.

“I know it’s early, but this has been a busy day. I think I’ll turn in early.” Everyone wished her goodnight and she was gone.

Yuri took a sip of beer. “So, that was Fel. What do you think?”

Flynn sipped as well. “In all honesty, she seems like a decent woman. But, I can understand why you’d find her unnerving.” Yuri leaned back. “I really doubt that she’s some kind of spy. She lacks the subtly.”

“Yeah. I don’t really believe it either.” Yuri said with a of his hands. “The evidence is there though, so for now we gotta keep an eye on her.” Fel being a spy seemed so far-fetched at times that had to stifle a laugh. “Did you notice?”

“That she avoids any and all personal questions? Yes.” Flynn nodded. “Funny. Most people can’t shut up about themselves.” True. People were self-centered. Even Yuri would admit to it. “I think she’d open up to you though.”

Yuri laughed. “Yeah right.”

“I’m serious.”

“I know. That’s what makes it worse.” He placed down his cup. “Fel won’t open up to Karol. There’s no way she’d tell me anything.”

Flynn patted him on the back with a smile. “You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

Three days passed in a heartbeat. Most of them Felinis spent awkwardly following the others or spending time with Estelle in the library. Felinis wasn’t too strong an avid reader, but books were a luxury she always wanted to enjoy more. Libraries funded themselves by having paid memberships so for Felinis going to one was a treat. The Liberians hated that they had to charge for entry and would make it free to the public, but money didn’t grow on trees. No, knowledge was for those who could afford it.

Growing up, Felinis had only ever own a handful of texts. Most second hand and tattered with age. Or her egghead brothers. She’d never much been a fan of those. Textbooks were rather boring. No story to them. Estelle didn’t mind her. Which was nice. Felinis was never one to stick around when she was hated.

Estelle close her book and smiled at her. “Felinis, I was curious what do you think of romance novels?”

Felinis leaned back. She debated whether to give her real opinion. “I think that they’re silly.”

“Oh?”

Felinis flipped to the next page. “Trying to place emotions in words is a silly concept. Feelings are subjective. The only reason we as a society associate things with emotions like love is because they’re reinforced by others.”

Estelle nodded. “That’s true, but I think that when authors write stories like this is so they convey what that feeling might be to them. To the writer love and romance may be completely different than what others think.”

“But, how do you know it’s love?” Felinis muttered mostly to herself. She knew at one point she’d been in a sort of love. At many points, she’d felt infatuation. Right now, she was admiring. But, she could say now, that true love like in stories alluded her. Felinis had never once been in love with someone. She’d come to that conclusion a long time ago. She thought once that she’d loved _him_. But, that was a false love. Wasn’t it? Real love isn’t broken. Real love can’t be destroyed. That’s the kind of love Felinis wanted to believe in.

She laughed inside. Because, love is the most ridiculous concept in the world. And, a love that can’t be broken doesn’t exist. Felinis knows that to be true. So, as a hopeless romantic she’s a hypocrite, because Felinis doesn’t believe in love. She believes in sex, because sex is tangible.

Estelle’s heard her and is taking in the words. “Hmm… I guess, we’d just have to trust ourselves.”

Trust, huh?

Felinis had been rather surprised when Flynn came looking for her before it was time to leave. She couldn’t think of anything the commandant would want with her. But, she complied and took his company casually.

“Let’s get straight to the point.” He started. Oh, dear. This was the part where he confesses and Felinis must tell him she doesn’t date blondes. Especially, since that blonde boy when she was little punched her in the gut. Fuck you, William! “Why are you trying to date Yuri?”

Well, that was… unexpected. Felinis had not expected to be called out on it. Sure, she wasn’t going to deny it, but usually people just asked her why she was stalking them. That or they never found out, because she’d run away by then. “Is he’s beautiful an acceptable answer?”

“You admit you want to date my best friend?” Flynn eyed her.

Felinis held her hands up in a sign of surrender. “Hey, I’m a terrible liar. If I said no you wouldn’t believe me anyway.” It was true. Felinis was good at denial and running. Her lies though needed some more fine tuning.

“Fair point.” Flynn smirked. “What are you hoping to get from getting close to Yuri?”

She sighed. “Nothing. I don’t expect anything and that’s fine by me. Not from Yuri. Not from Brave Vesperia. Not from anyone.” She laughed.

“Really?”

“I was even planning on leaving in a few months anyway.” Flynn raised a brow. “I’m not good with people. So, I try not to overstay my welcome. I know that most of them don’t think much of me. Plus, I’m not one for staying still.” She chuckled hollowly. “I feel silly if I’m not running.”

The commandant gave her a look of pity. “That’s a sad outlook.” He’d been thinking what he’d confront was secret crazy stalker (Which he did), but this person was just sad. Nothing scary. Nothing sinister. Just sad and lost. “Miss Felinis, how old are you?”

She swallowed and laughed again. “Older than you. I guess that makes it worse?”

“I see.” Felinis fiddled with her bracelet again. “Miss Felinis, I hope that you find what you’re looking for someday. If what you say is true, I doubt I’ll get another chance to meet you.”

She nodded. “It was great meeting you. And, sorry, but running is what I do best.” She smiled softly. “So, I’ll keep running till I fall apart.”

Flynn gave her a pat on the head. “I sincerely hope you don’t. You seem like a nice lady Miss Felinis.”

The ride back felt short in comparison. Felinis sat on the bed like before only this time her stomach didn’t quake. She looked at the wooden paneling and thought of the fun she had. Then the anxiety. Ugh, that was the most she’d been out socializing in ages. It was absolutely terrifying! She leaned into her cover and dreamt of going home. The guildhall would be so dusty. She’d have to get work on that.      


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: I'm soo mad at myself today I studied really hard for an art history exam so that I could be all like look at my A. And I got to the test and I forgot everything I was cramming just a bit before. I cried so much afterwards. Ughhh I need a hug. My mom's hugs, but I can't. I hate being an adult

She couldn’t wait to get back to running the front desk. Zaphias was nice, but she didn’t like leaving. And, then there was the fact that cleaning and getting thing back on track was something that absolutely needed to get done. Felinis was trying her best not to skip all the way home. The air was getting crisp here.

It had been about Autumn in Zaphias, but one could swear it was still late summer here. A local though felt the cooler air and the fact that fall had indeed struck. Time to get extra busy on that canning. Everything was just as they left it, but a note had been dropped off from Altosk.

Raven plucked it out of her hands and looked it over. “Looks like we’ve got trouble.”

A sigh passed through the group at the thought of dealing with trouble so soon. Felinis watched them depart leaving her with Repede again. She looked around the building. Dusty, like it would. Cleaning right now was best, but it was getting late and they needed groceries. She grabbed a basket and set off.

“Come on, Handsome.” Felinis said as she left locking the door behind her. They were walking through the markets the basket was almost full and she was getting vegetables. Repede pouted below her as she paid. "I know you don't like bok-choy, but I do.”

They continued walking and Felinis felt the hair on her neck stand. The farmers were all whispering the same things. The guild food stores were robbed a few days ago. Blue paint splashed on the walls and weird graffiti everywhere. It meant the farmers had jacked their prices in the open markets and that whoever it was leading those criminals was on the move. She put away the groceries once inside and stopped. She just needed to check on someone she knew. See how her family was doing since they had a shop that got robbed.

She looked at Repede. “I’m going to see a friend. You can come if you want.”

The dog yawned and she took that as a sign to be on her way. She ran a little ways there in hopes of catching her friend in their apartment before they went to work. Felinis didn’t have many friends on principle of _everything she embodies_ but she had one. One who shared in her terrible ways with men.

She ran and pounded on the door of a second story apartment in downtown west Dahngrest. “Iris!” she knocked. “Iris?” Once more. “Iris I found someone totally your type. Old and creepy just like you like ‘em!”

A begrudged woman with thick, long, wavy hazelnut hair that was estranged and a mess looked at her through the doorway. “I’m just gonna assume you did something and need a place to hide.”

Felinis smiled and stepped in. “Not this time. I got worried about you!”

Now that she was inside, Felinis could see that Iris wasn’t even dressed yet. Iris was wearing a large top with a well-drawn image of an attractive man who had no idea she existed and mismatched socks. In her hands was a cup of steaming coffee. Her friend raised a brow. “Why would you? I haven’t had guy trouble in years.”

In other words: “I have yet needed to run away and disappear into the void for a week because of something stupid I did while stalking.”

Admittedly, the friendship they shared was… unusual. It started after Felinis began chasing boys and was beginning to think this was an insane idea. It was and is. She should listen little voice in her head that tells her to not to do the bad things! But, her parents introduced her to their new friends’ daughter Iris. Who thought Felinis was ten for a very long time despite being about thirteen and older than her. Iris was already planning her wedding. They got talking and the more they talked the more they realized how much they dreamed of romance!

Or in Iris’s case a sugar daddy man.

Which leads to why Felinis doesn’t go to the Eastern District. Ever. At one point, Felinis decided she’d try the whole find a rich, amazing, wonderful guy, thing Iris did. So, she’d joined a guild that had a Duke’s son who was rich and relatively fit her aesthetic. It was too bad he was annoying asshole. She’d tried to change tactics and stalk his brother… and then Luke pissed her off one too many times… Felinis got mad and kicked him in the balls… So, Iris managed to help smooth things over and hide her. By some luck Felinis only got away with a restraining order that said she was to stay out of the Eastern Upper District. Then she tried again with another red-head named Zelos, he was creepy. Iris, pulled her out of those problems each time and was her confidant.

After that, Felinis decided to follow guys using her nonsensical logic. Iris thought that was dumb, but Felinis thought trying to date men with a fair amount of cash was dumb too. Whenever things went awry or in a rare case very well they always turned to each other.

“Well, those blue colors guys attacked your family shop, right? Is the bakery alright?”

Iris took a sip. “Yeah. But, things are fine. They didn’t touch our cash so we can always go buy more grain and make up for lost profit. And, Altosk is going to help reimburse us.”

Felinis scrunched her face. “But, don’t you still lose a lot of profit? This is a big loss for you guys.”

Iris sighed and waved her hands. “I’m pissed about it, but what ya gonna do. Once I get dressed I’m heading to work and I’ll set off on finding these assholes.” It should be noted that Iris was a local law enforcer and city guard working for Altosk. “Then we can have a kimchi night. I haven’t gotten to hang with you in forever!”

“Yeah sorry. I’ve just been caught up with everything.” Felinis giggled. “Oh, but guess who I’m following now?”

Iris gave a smug and sarcastic smirk. “Knowing you he looks like a girl, has dark hair, and has some sort of snarkiness to him.”

Felinis laughed awkwardly. “What makes you say that?”

Iris raised a brow. “Have you ever looked at the guys you fall for? They’re all the same.”

Felins placed her hands on her hips. “So are yours. They’re all old looking, with facial hair, and money.”

They laughed and then Iris sat down and waited eagerly. “Who’s it this time?”

“Yuri Lowell from Brave Vesperia. He’s sexy as fuck and so cool. He’s confident and strong. Plus, he kicks ass with a sword. He’s perfect.” Felinis cooed. “And, his dog likes me.”

“You’re such trash.” Iris softly sassed. “Going after the savior of the world? You need to lower your standards a bit more.”

“I did have low standards.” Felinis shivered. “Never again. Besides you should lower your before you can only date grandpas. Anyone you chasing now?”

“No. I decided to stop chasing Ace.”

“Good. You got me fired last time, because of that.”

“Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“Jerk.” Felinis chided and they both faked anger like real friends. “There really is a guy up your alley at my work. His name is Raven and he’s… old and he’s kind of scruffy.”

“And?”

“And, I’m pretty sure he was quite rich back when he worked for the knights.”

“Fuck the knight! I’m not touching that.”

“He backstabbed Alexei.”

Iris debated it. “He might be passable. I’d have to meet him.”

“If you do. We’re strangers. I’m not losing another job, because you decided rooting through their things was a good idea.” Felinis huffed.

“Did you just come here to insult me?”

“Yes.”

“Wow. Rude.”

They talked and caught up on things. Felinis loved talking with Iris. As they discussed the affairs finally she told Iris about how she was forced to leave the city. About Zaphias and her fears. She told her all she’d experienced.

Iris looked her over. “Does that mean you’re finally over-“ her eyes drifted to Felinis’s bracelet.

Felinis gripped her wrist. “I’ve been over him for years, silly.” She laughed and Iris didn’t buy it. Iris knew her and could see the pain. “Yuri Lowell is a pretty cool guy from everything I’ve heard. I think that you should really try for him. Get out there. I am.”

She stammered as she tried to think of an excuse. “No way! I couldn’t. Yuri would never like me that way.”

“Have you tried asking?”

Felinis swallowed and pulled at her curly strands. “No. I didn’t plan to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: today you met one of my best friends. She's my partner in all things boys related and the one who know most my dark secrets. Ergo she can blackmail me.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Hi... I'm really sorry the chapter is late. Life just has me tied up. So here it is. I'll try to keep my deadlines. So here's a chapter. It has more traces of plot.

The group came home to Felinis preparing dinner with a smile. They sat down to eat and talked about what they’d learned. Most Felinis had learned from Iris and the merchants. The shops that were hit were all guild business and Altosk and the other groups were going to work to recover what was lost. None of the gald in the shops were touched. It was only the stock which had Felinis wondering.

Why steal products but leave the money untouched? The only people it seemed to benefit were the farmers, but that was a false profit. Nobody wins if food is stolen. It means people start to starve and go hungry.

Felinis stopped mid-bite. The ones who would suffer would be the people who couldn’t afford it and hunger is a powerful weapon.

She listened now intently and thought this over. Yeah, that would make sense. “I think that you should check out the soup kitchens.” Felinis said offhandedly.

Raven leaned back in his chair. “What for?”

“A fair amount are currently getting bulk donations from various anonymous sources.” She took a bite and noted the grin on Judith. She’d probably been thinking something similar.

Karol’s eyes narrowed. “Your right. Nobody would support bad guys who steal from the innocent.”

“Yep.” Felinis said and went on in silence. Fact stands that people hate those that make life harder for them. If a group tried to starve the citizens and take over they’d be overrun in a few years. Anyone who understands war and basic phycology knows that. She finished her last bite and started cleaning up. Tonight, she was far too busy to just spend it staring at Yuri from a distance.

She had more cleaning to do, finances to balance, and anxiety to quell. When Felinis finally finished, she went to bed silently.

_A young Felinis sat by the bridge once more. She was staring at the water and reciting formulas for healing spells. Her skill was terrible and akin to a rusted blade. Everyone kept saying she’d get the hang of it soon, but Felinis knew better._

_He showed up like he always did._

_Felinis didn't need a bell to know he was there. She’d always known when he was coming, because she was always listening for him. "They're never gonna let me leave on a job." She was talking about the fact that her guild apprenticeship was over and not once had they taken her outside the barrier. She was supposed to become a great hero or something like that. That was the dream. But all this had proved was a truth she'd been denying. That deep down Felinis wasn’t meant for combat._

_Or magic._

_Or maybe anything. She hadn't gotten the apprenticeship because of skills, but connections. Her guild had given up on her. Even if they hadn't said so she could tell by how they were slowly pushing her behind a desk._

_“Of course they will.” He smiled and tried to reassure her, but by now she knew better. “Just wait.”_

_Stop smiling like that! Felinis wanted to scream every time she thought of that smile. Why? Why did he have to keep smiling like that the whole time? Why did he have to wear that same ugly grin when he…_

_“No, they won’t.” Felinis grit. She stood and walked away, because she was worried he’d see her cry. The only people who’d seen her cry in sorrow were her family. Frustrated tears aren’t real tears. They’re born from anger not sadness. “Admit it. I can’t fight.”_

_He rubbed the back of his head. “Well, your technique is rough, but you could totally be a strong with practice. Just give it time.” He hugged her and Felinis felt the tension leave. “Plus, you’re all stressed out cause of your family. Once it cools down it’ll be fine.”_

_Was the hug his form of mocking her? Was it? What did any of his acts of affection mean? Felinis shuddered inside when she thought of it. Was it a game? Or was it something even less?_

Felinis woke with tears in her dusting her eyes. She hated thinking about him. She hated him. The love she’d felt broke over the years and now it was just a bitter soup that she tasted on her tongue. Whatever. She shrugged it off and went on her day as always.

Right now, everyone was off doing work in some for Atlosk over the underground group of hoodlums. Felinis waited in the front bored, but content. Desk watching was just one of the many jobs she had. She glanced over at the windowsill again. It really needed a fern.

Nothing important happened that day. A few people stopped by to place in job requests and Felinis noted them all and went over the schedules. She prepped dinner since the others wouldn’t be back till this evening. Life as a manger was routine and safe which suited her fine. She heard a loud knocking on the front door and ran over.

Who was knocking at this hour? They had a sign and mail slot for a reason. Peering in was Iris who looked at her with a malicious grin. Felinis sighed inwardly. She should have never told Iris where she worked.

She cracked the door open. “What do you want?”

Iris tapped her foot. “Come on, let me in already. I got something cool to tell you.”

Felinis let her in and escorted her to the back. Iris took a seat while Felinis continued her prep work on the meal. “What’s up? Did you finally find Ace?” Iris was taking a break from stalking her current target because the man was currently lost somewhere in the forests around Dahngrest. Iris searched when she could since it had been two weeks and she worried for poor man.

“Nah, he’s still lost.” Iris said. “But, looks like the color guys donated a ton of food towards the local soup kitchens.”

“Why are you telling me?” Felinis said raising her brow.

“Cause the guy working at one was Bae.” Iris cheered. “I’m like daddy please. He’s a butt, but totally my type.”

Felinis blanched. “I will never understand you.”

Iris grinned. “I also got a look at you know who. Not bad, but way too fem for me.”

“You just can’t understand the beauty of subtle androgyny. The way perfection can be found in one that’s features gleam like shining blade in the moonlight.” Felinis quipped.

Iris rolled her eyes. “I will never understand you.” They both laughed and talked a bit before Iris got serious. “look, it’s your life, but you may wanna seriously think about getting out of here. If that group comes here, you’ll be in trouble.”

“I know. But, if I suddenly skip they might think that’s weird and start looking for me. Plus, somebody will go digging through my past and then I’ll have to explain how I’m a fucking crazy person. They’ll lock me up and then I’ll never have happiness.”

“I thought you gave up on happiness?” Iris said sarcastically. “I mean that’s why we’re friends.”

Felinis sighed and steadied her nerves. “I can’t go just yet. But, I will soon.”

“Is that a promise?” Iris asked. She nodded. Felinis wasn’t going to stay longer than needed. She just needed to figure out where she was running to this time. She’d go boy hunting sometime soon. Felinis felt vile. It used to be hard to drop her affection and run, but now it was easy. Too easy. “Great, maybe this time you’ll actually date someone.”

“Like you’ve had better luck!” Felinis screeched. Iris teased her again about trying to date Yuri, but she brushed it off. Felinis knew her place and it wasn’t next to Yuri. Her place was the side character in stories that people struggle to remember the name of. She was a small smudge in his life that he’d quickly forget about.

Felinis liked people who would ultimately see her that way because, it meant their life was above hers. That they would shine like stars. So, she never found it her place to try and go after them. In the past, she tried, but now it was mostly out of habit. Yes, Felinis could never date her ideal.

Nothing comes after a dream after all.

Iris left after some time and the rest of the guild came home. “Welcome back.” She walked up to Karol and handed over papers that needed his attention. “Here’s your paperwork, Karol.”

Karol thanked her and went to look them over. Judith asked her about her day and Yuri and Raven just gave quick hellos. It was strangely normal despite knowing that bad things were conspiring in town. But, that was just a part of it all.

“So, the kitchens are well stocked I take it?” Felinis said to Judith.

“Yes. It appears it was all anonymously donated.” Judith hissed.

“Were you able to return it?”

Judith crossed her arms and sighed. “No.” Felinis nodded. If Altosk and Brave Vesperia started taking food even if allegedly stolen from the populace it be bad news for everyone. It’s best to figure out their goal.

“Blue chokers.” Felinis muttered. “That’s been bugging me for a while.”

Judith nodded. “It’s an odd symbol to choose.”

Felinis chewed the inside of her cheek and ran her hand on the wall. “Oh, I get it! They’re the Blue Collars.” Judith raised a brow. “Like the blue-collar workers.”

“So, you think they’re trying to get sympathy from the working class?” She said. “That would make sense. With blastia gone things have gotten a lot harder for working class citizens.”

Felinis nodded. “If the group really wanted to overtake Altosk and stay in power they’d need a good reputation. Members will probably start spreading rumors everywhere.”

“You’re pretty smart.”

She laughed and rubbed the back of her head. “I just understand a bit about phycology.” Plus, stalking folks sharpens one’s insight. “I’m sure you pretty much had that figured out.”

“Yes, but still, your intuition isn’t half-bad.” Felinis couldn’t stop herself from feeling the teensiest proud. “Maybe you should try showing that off.”

What was that grin for? “What do you mean?” Felinis tilted her head to the side in confusion.

Judith chuckled. “Just that you might impress someone special.” Judith walked off and Felinis followed.

“What do you mean by that?” She panicked.

Judith just rolled her eyes. “Just that you’re not as subtle as you think.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: I'm really not a subtle person.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Hi. I'm sorry I took the last 2 weeks off. I was busy with spring quarter finals and trying not to cry. But, never fear all is well now. Rest assured that I'm back to work.

Felinis looked desperately into Judith’s eyes. “What do you mean? What do you know?”

Judith kept on walking and Felinis followed. “All I’m saying is you’re not that subtle.”

That could mean anything! Wait, she’d admitted herself to Flynn in a moment of weakness. But, how was Felinis supposed to lie to a gorgeous hunk of man meat like that! (Plus, her lying was shit when it came down to it) Had the man revealed her secret to Judith? If so Felinis was fucked! There was no way Judith wasn't going to tease her about this. Teasing was one of the Krytian’s specialties.

“But, what do you mean?” Felinis asked pulling her to the side. “What do you know?”

Judith just kept smiling and looked down at her. “That depends.”

Her brown eyes were blown wide. “Just tell me, goddammit!” She gripped Judith’s side. “You’re driving me insane with all your vague Krytian bullshit!”

The Krytian pried off her hand softly and pat her head. “I just meant that you’re a wonderful girl. You could easily catch someone’s eye.”

Felinis laughed to herself, because the idea was ridiculous. Felinis wasn’t that kind of person. If she were to describe the difference between her and Judith… she’d acquaint it with one being a jeweled pendant and her the small silver chain. Nobody cares about the chain and if they do it is only because it makes the jewel shine brighter. She was an accessory.

Men, didn’t fall for Felinis. Or if they did they fell for the illusion of the normal quite mousy girl (who just so happened to swear a shit ton). They fell for the idea of someone who always smiled. People didn’t even generally try to be her friend. Not genuinely. The only person who actually knew her was Iris. Judith didn’t know anything about her so how could she make such a claim? It was truly laughable.

“Plus, just gawking like a hopeless fangirl is pathetic.”

Felinis’s train of thought shattered completely and her neck slowly craned to look in Judith’s eyes. “What?”

“I knew you had a thing, but being a member of the YL fan club.” Judith tsked. “That’s what people do when they give up.”

Felinis now realized this was not a conversation she wanted to have in the hallway. She pulled Judith quickly into the bathroom and locked the door. “How long have you known? How did you know? Did Flynn tell you?”

“Was it supposed to be a secret?” Felinis blinked in wonderment. “Because, to me it was pretty obvious. You always daze off when he’s talking.” She snorted a bit. “Anyone with half a brain could have figured it out.”

Felinis gave Judith the crazy eye and was about to start ranting in a large violent rage, but stopped. She pulled back and drew her hands in like a mantis. “Why haven’t you call me out?”

Judith bit her lip and thought a minute. “I guess, I wanted to see where this would go.”

“But, then you started digging and realized that was hopeless.” Felinis sighed and curled in on herself. “Can you just forget that you know that? I don’t plan on sticking around for maybe more than a month. It’s gotten too hairy around here for my taste.” And, Felinis was being forced from her shell. That alone made was reason to run. No man was worth risking the stability that Felinis had fabricated over the years.

Judith looked disappointed and she was. She’d expected Felinis to retaliate tooth and nail like their usual fights. The Krytian was always fond of the girl’s childish protests. “I won’t but… you’re just giving up? You already got this far so why not go all the way?”

The Krytian woman probably wouldn’t understand. No matter how close she got to the sun it was always to be out of reach. The void may encompass the universe, but nobody cared for the void. Everyone stares at the stars that shine on high. Void and stars may exist alongside each other, but in the end one is more important than the other. If she tried to grab that star, reality would hit and she’d disappear underneath the light. Felinis stalks stars from the dark void of space from which no sanity can exists. Attempting to actually date Yuri was never an option.

“Have you seen me?” Felinis laughed hysterically. “I have no chance of dating him! I’d have an easier time scoring a date with Repede.” And, the dog would still probably turn her down.

“Well, if you dressed your age and talked to him without spacing out then you’d probably have a chance.” Judith cupped her chin and pulled off Felinis’s glasses. "Huh, you look a lot older without these.”

BoobsMgee has blinded her! Attack with full force! “Give me back my glasses! I can’t see shit without these.” She grabbed them quickly and pressed them to her face protectively.

Judith was looking her over. “If we got you in the right clothes and makeup you might even look like someone in their twenties.” She was in her twenties! “How old are you anyway?”

“Older than you.”

The Krytian got an idea in her head and pulled Felinis out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. Judith knew she’d find something that would work. She dug through Felinis’s closet and found one of the few black dresses that the girl owned. Seriously, what was with the pastels? Felinis would look so nice if she put on some rich colors. Unless the color was yellow, blue, or purple, pastels just fell flat.

The black dress was still in a baby-doll type fashion. Long-sleeves and frills, but thankfully no high neckline. Judith pulled out fishnets and a pair of her stiletto boots. “Put those on.”

“Why should I?”

Judith just smirked. “Because, if you don’t I’ll tell your dark secrets.”

Felinis stiffened. Did Judith know about… that time. No, she couldn’t! It was the one thing Felinis didn’t talk about with anyone ever. Tell about her stalking! It was nothing compared to her real secrets. “Your bluffing.”

Judith’s face turned stone and hard. “Am I?” She pushed the clothes near her.

Shit! She knows! Kill her with fire! Wait… too much evidence. Poison. Felinis would spike her food and drink… No that’s too obvious. So many lines could point to her. Maybe, just stab her death. The classics never die even if the victims do. On second thought, suffocation via pillow was probably best. That’s how Shakespeare would have done it. Or should Felinis bake Judith into a pie. That was also very Shakespeare.

That guy was weird.

Felinis begrudgingly slipped into the clothes. “There. Happy?”

Judith looked at Felinis and nodded. “Yes. After we get some makeup on you we’ll take the boys and head out drinking.” Judith stopped. “You do drink, right?”

More than Felinis would like to admit. She often thought of herself as a secret lush. “Yes.”

Judith smiled. “Then there should be no problem. Now, let’s get ready.” The next half hour was spent with Judith doing her best to doll Felinis up. The girl spent the whole time grumbling as she always hates being dressed up and made into a spectacle. When the chance came, she would disappear and never come back.

Yuri thought it was odd that Judy had decided to pull everyone for an impromptu bar trip. But, he decided not to think much of it and instead focus on the oddity that Fel was coming along. The two always seemed to have a relationship that reminded him a bit of Rita with the others. Fel would bark and complain, but at the same time she’d agree and go along with Judy. Still, Fel always avoided socializing so Yuri couldn’t help thinking the Krytian had pulled some strings.

It was also odd to see Fel looking… well like an adult. Or at least a teenager. She tagged in the back staying silent and trying not pout her lips. Yeah, Judy had _definitely_ twisted her arm to get her out tonight.

Yuri took a sip of his drink at the table they were sitting at in Sagittarius. Fel was sighing for the umpteenth time as she took another sip from her glass. She was drinking wine slowly, but steadily.

Felinis had asked on the way what Judith was up to. If the Krytian was playing matchmaker she was mistaken! Felinis would never submit! Judith had admitted that she’d wanted to hang out more. They had gone window shopping a few times, but not much else. If Felinis chose to pursue Yuri on the outing it was her choice. Felinis decided firmly that there’d be no pursuing or friendship. Judith could try, but Felinis would deny her from now on.

Judith came by with a round of shots and set them down. The four swallowed effortlessly and slammed them down. While Felinis could handle shots, they weren’t her thing most the time. Her drinks were the ones that were sweet or rich. The burn of alcohol was nice, but ultimately it did nothing for her. Felinis had never once felt drunk for more than a few minutes.

She listened as everyone talked about gossip they’d overheard or argued over arbitrary some matter. Obviously, dogs would wear pants on their back-legs anything else would be stupid. Like getting a ficus. Who wants a ficus? Why get a ficus when getting a fern is clearly the better option.

As Felinis listened a man in a lab coat at the table next to them started flirting with the girls sitting there. He mentioned how he was a doctor and could give a special free health examination. Felinis looked closer at the man. Raven just looked over and shook his head. “Something tells me that man didn’t go ta medical school.”

And, the next thing she knew she was on the floor clutching her side. It was too perfect. Simply timing, the scenario, and the fact it was so natural. It was like the line in a sketch comedy. Felinis couldn’t stop laughing and the supposed doctor had rushed over.

“Hey, are you okay?” Felinis was too caught in her laughter to pay attention to the voice. “How much has she had to drink?”

Judith took the lead. “A few glasses of wine and a shot of whiskey.” The shot had been gross. Felinis didn’t care much for whiskey. “Felinis are you okay?”

Felinis was still laughing, but she got up. It was too funny. Everything about it was too funny. “Doc, ya gonna do something?”

The doctor looked at Felinis and to the girls at the table. “I’m not a doctor. I just stole the coat from my friend.”

Yuri huffed in annoyance. “Of course, you did.”

Felinis finally stopped giggling long enough to get a response out. “I’m fine!” She giggled again. “It’s just too funny.” She laughed again. “It’s like a terrible comedy sketch. Right down to the fake doctor.” Please let one of the girls be a nurse or an undercover cop coming to arrest the man!

Everyone gave her an estranged look, but Felinis just kept giggling to herself. They thought the girl was likely very drunk, but Felinis would have done the same even completely sober. It became clear to the group if that getting Felinis to talk was easiest when she was laughing.

They brought up the hilarious things that happened over the course of their adventures. While Felinis had stayed mostly leveled when hearing about how Karol had ended up in a dress in Heliord seducing a guard now she was trying not burst at the seams. A bit more wine and Felinis mentioned the rather strange stories of her family. Never anything that would give herself away more than necessary.

“So, my parents are struggling to keep me distracted all day until they can find a way to replace the dead bird before I notice.”

“So, what did they do.”

“Well, first my dad superglues the bird to the perch so if I show up I don’t see anything…” They talked longer, before finally setting to head back. Karol was probably wondering what happened to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: In case your wondering, yes, my Dad glued a dead parrot to the perch so I wouldn't notice that it had choked. It is a very weird and complicated story


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: This chapter is not late that is a figment of your imagination... also more cuteness

"Karol, you forgot to grab my hand!" Nan growled and the young guild boss ran to take it.

"Sorry." He squeaked running to take her outstretched hand. The two had gone on a date. Or at least, that's what Nan said it was, but Karol didn't see monster slaying and dinner as much of a date. Nan demanded constantly for Karol to hold her hand. He complied since he valued his life and because holding her hand felt wonderful. Unfortunately, he kept forgetting to grab it at times which had Nan furious. 

"Do you even want to hold hands?" Nan huffed as they walked through the streets to take her home. Karol knew that Nan was more than capable of keeping herself safe, but for some reason she kept saying a man should escort 'a delicate young lady' such as herself home. Especially, at night! What part of Nan was supposed to be delicate anyway?

Karol gripped tighter and accidentally pulled her hand up with his. "No way! I love holding hands with you." Karol stopped now embarrassed. He just blurted it out like an idiot."I-mean..." He stammered still pulling along Nan's hand as he gestured to find better words.

"Idiot." Nan pulled out and presented her and again. "If you mean that take my hand and kiss it." He stood there a few seconds. "I'm waiting!" Karol nodded slowly and took her hand and placed a soft kiss on the back of her palm. It was soft, he knew that already, but this felt different. They walked further on in silence and Nan sighed and brushed a few hairs behind her ears. "You don't always have to take my hand if you don't want to."

Karol looked to the street hoping it would hide how red his face was. "But, I want to." He muttered and scratched his face with his free hand. "Not always, but I most the time we can."

Nan was looking at the shops. "Sure. That's fine with me." The two continued, but stopped when they heard the sound of shattering glass.

Their hands cams apart and they ran towards the sound. Karol saw a group of people hurling stones at store windows. It was exceptionally late so the streets had been bare. Karol immediately ran at them yelling for them to stop. The group scattered and disappeared through the dark streets. 

Both fighters took off hunting through the dark alley streets of Dahngrest. Karol turned into the corner of an alley in pursuit of one of the men only to have a harsh collision with his skull and losing focus long enough for the person to get away.

Karol griped his sore head and stood up to continue looking for the criminals. But… he couldn’t find them. “Nan?” He called heading back into the street they parted at. She came running over furious. “Did they all get away?”

Nan kicked the ground furiously. “Unfortunately.” She huffed and crossed her arms. “I followed for a few blocks, but they disappeared before I could catch them in the alleys.”

Karol looked over the damage to the shops. Nothing seemed stolen, but the insides had been pelted with stones and things had clearly been broken. A patrol officer from Altosk came running over at the sight. “What the hell? Hey kids, what did you do?”

Karol walked over to him with his hands up. “I’m Karol from Brave Vesperia!” The officer’s stance softened a little. “My friend and I were heading home when we saw these guys attack the shop.”

The officer nodded and looked over the two of them. “Right.” He looked in the shops at the stones crashed into the once lovely window displays. “I’m sorry, but I’ll need you to testify to my boss before I can let you go. Regulations and all that.”

Nan sighed but didn’t protest. “Fine.”

Felinis normally didn’t worry about Karol. He was a very capable kid! More so than most in Dahngrest and they breed them strong here. The boy was both the leader of a guild and strong fighter at twelve! But, when she woke up to say hi to him like she always did worry set in. She went to check on him and the boy was still out cold on the bed. Felinis gave him a light shake he sprang up with a cry.

“Calm yourself.” Felinis said as Karol groggily looked at her with a sigh.

The poor boy looked like exhausted. “Hey Felinis.” He looked disappointed at the sunlight streaming through the window. “Morning already?”

Felinis wondered what the boy possibly could have been up to so late at night. “What’s got you so sleepy?”

Karol yawned and rubbed his eyes. “Last night I sort of got caught up in some vandalism so I ended up sticking around testifying to Altosk what I saw.” He yawned again. “So I didn’t get out until it was almost four in the morning.”

“They kept you that long!” She exclaimed. “Oh, Baby, you have every right to sleep in today.” Felinis started pushing him back into bed. “You get some shut eye.”

Karol protested. “But, I have work to do!”

Felinis pushed harder. Tired people are always such stubborn idiots. “It’s fine. I’ll take care of this.” Karol tried to argue, but only yawned again. “Plus, you have a whole guild of people who would do the same thing, but worse if they saw you.”

Karol nodded. “Yeah, Judith would probably hit me on the head.”

“Yep. So sleep.” Felinis smiled and pulled him under the covers. “Sleep is good for the blood.” Felinis headed down to explain the news. Everyone nodded and carried on with breakfast. Felinis went to the mailbox and found a note and cringed.

The paper, the ink, the handwriting. She knew this was from she set the rest of the letters to the side and stuffed the note in her bra. She didn’t need anyone seeing this. So, Felinis feigned normalcy as the group went on with their work investigation.

Raven, though still gave her an odd look when he left to help Altosk on their investigation. He’d been tricking people long enough to know when someone was hiding something. Felinis was clearly trying her best to pretend she didn’t know something important. If it wasn’t for the fact that the item was likely hidden in her cleavage he’d try to look at whatever it was she got her hands on. 

As much as the idea that she was a spy seemed ludicrous it still didn’t change the fact that Felinis was hiding things. But, Raven couldn’t blame her much for hiding all connections she had with the Yuri Lowell Fan Club. He’d say he was surprised… but Yuri was a local celebrity and someone girls could easily fawn over. So he wasn’t surprised at that. What had been surprising was the apparent ties she had at one point to a particular menace.

A fair amount of shops had stones thrown at the windows last night. Nothing was reported as stolen, but some merchandise was damaged. Like the last the shops that got hit were once again part of the commerce unions. None of the permanent stands were damaged and nobody was injured, but the why seemed odd. Why hadn’t they taken anything? The best bet was it was a warning, but the shops had already been targets before so what would be the point? 

Raven pondered this over as he talked with more workers and looked over the scene. The group was clearly trying to send a message, but what? They needed more clues. He noted the odd looks he was getting from one the works off to the side. Her eyes occasionally glancing at him. Well, Raven was never one to deny the ladies.

He strode over with a charming smile. “Hello Darlin’. I don’t think we’ve met.” The woman stiffened a little and Raven noted it. “Name’s Raven.”

She smiled and laughed a little awkwardly. “Oh, I’m Iris. Iris Hagen.”

“Lovely ta meet ya.” Iris nodded and responded with a similar response. “So ya work for Altosk?”

She nodded her. “Yeah. I’m just a city patrol officer, but yeah.” Iris bit her lip. “You wouldn’t happen to know Felinis… would you?” A friend?

“Oh, sure. She’s in my guild.” He said playfully. Maybe he could use this to his advantage. “Are you a friend?”

“Oh yeah, we’re great friends. She’s fam.” Fam? What slang was that? Whatever, Raven could work with this.

“Then you should come by sometime.”

Iris stopped herself short of saying yes. “Nah, Felinis is probably busy. I’ll stop by another time.”

Raven smirked. “Then, if you won’t visit her, would you consider joining me for dinner this evening.”

Iris held mouth open slightly before slipping into a small grin. “Sure. That be great.”

“Then it’s a date.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Mwahaha I'm on time for a change. My 3d design teacher is gonna kill me. Ughh he basically wants me to turn in a project every day and never be a second late even though I'm at the mercy of a bus.

_Felinis sighed as she sat by him once more. “I’m leaving the Blood Alliance.”_

_He stopped. “Really?”_

_She nodded. There was no point in sticking around in a guild where she’d only be deadwood. “I’m gonna try my hand in Leviathan’s Claw. I think a change of scene might do me good.” Felinis wasn’t welcomed in the Blood Alliance anyway. She wasn’t dumb she heard the whispers. If she hadn’t decided to start running that day Felinis might have stayed forever. Or at least till the guild was disbanded._

_Felinis wanted him to ask her to stay. That they were better together… something… anything…_

_Instead he stayed silent and smiled at her like she was a moron. Like Felinis was a child that needed patronizing. Like she was incapable. “I hope you like it there.”_

_Had he ever liked Felinis? Or cared for her? Maybe not. Probably not._

He was getting married then? She bit her lip bitterly. Felinis wondered who the lucky girl was. It wasn’t her obviously. That ship had long since sailed. Why invite her? They didn’t speak to each other and they didn’t talk to each other. So, Felinis was left with the idea that the girl must be someone Felinis knows. It’s not Iris and she doubts it’s anyone from a former guild.

Felinis thinks on the note the whole day and concludes that it has the be Elie. A former friend who Felinis hasn’t met in years. They sometimes sent letters to each other or bumped into each other on the side of the road, but other than that the two had little connection. It wasn’t out of spite, Felinis was certain. Elie wasn’t that type of person. Perhaps, Elie was trying to make up for the sins of the past? Whatever it was she refused to go to that wedding. To the showers. To anything. Felinis didn’t want to see him. Or Elie and the bracelet on her wrist. Felinis didn’t need the reminder.

Didn’t want the reminder.

She cleans, handles paperwork, and fixes dinner all day. She tries to drift her mind to more pleasant thoughts like how a fern will look in the windowsill. Or how she could redecorate the living room. The table is still broken and barely standing up. Felinis cringes whenever she looks at it. She was raised with the belief to keep everything presentable and well maintained. When sad her parent enforced in her to not burst into tears unless alone. When angry Felinis was told swallow it and let it out in private. Anger was something she wasn’t supposed to feel. Or at least that’s how it felt. Felinis did so, because she was a good daughter and listened to her parents. Felinis always wore a smile, because smiles were the faces of people who were happy. Not in pain. Distress. Lonely. Angry. If Felinis cried it was for frustration an emotion she could handle. If she saw him then she would certainly break down in tears and fall apart in sorrow. People weren’t allowed to see her sorrow so she tore up the note and burned it on the stove.

The day was normal if not for the fact that apparently, the new villains had broken the glass in many shop windows. Altosk would cover the shops that couldn’t afford to fix the windows. It was understandable not everyone made a big enough profit to fix multiple losses. If things kept up Altosk would have no choice, but to leave those businesses to their own devices. An eerie warning rang out in that statement.

Yuri was annoyed that they were still having trouble with finding good leads. The Old Man had a few hunches, but nothing solid. The problem with finding someone with ties was that most of the former criminals in Leviathan's Claw and Blood Alliance were already behind bars. Which meant whoever was responsible for this were those with a low profile. Workers who’d been completely out of the loop.

Yuri noted that while the guild unions were suffering the independent groups were profiting off the affair. The Blue Collars seemed to be operating under a Robin Hood scheme. Yuri might have found a sense of nobility in the idea if it wasn't for the fact that these weren't wealthy nobles from the Lower Quarter. The victims here were hard working business men. They paid back for the damages, but Yuri knew it wasn't the same as returning what was also for these people a necessity.

The group was giving their loot to the food banks which gave them a start. Currently, Altosk was gathering a list of every donations that had occurred since the first robbery. Not everything was accounted for which meant there had to be somewhere the Collars were stashing their loot. The inspection of each suspects house hadn't given conclusive evidence and had also set citizens on edge. Nobody had a surplus large enough to warrant suspicion. Which meant the stolen items had to be elsewhere. Tracking every donator was impossible so they had to narrow the list. Which from Yuri's view was going to be a long and boring venture.

He was a swordsman not a detective. He looked for clues for a few hours, but quickly grew bored. If Yuri couldn’t find anything then there was no use sticking around. He left and decided to take a walk around the city. As he wandered through the streets of Dahngrest Yuri found himself in front of a restaurant.

LaFern?

It looked homey inside. He hadn't had lunch yet so it couldn't hurt. The inside was full of customers and waiters carried trays to and thro. A middle-aged woman walked over to greet him. Her hair was dyed in a reddish-pink hue and her face while wrinkled still seemed young. Her mouth face had smile lines and her presence reminded Yuri of a mother.

"Table for one?" Yuri nodded and he was escorted to a table where he could peak in on the kitchen staff. "We don't have a menu. I hope that's not a problem."

Yuri lifted his hand and nodded his head slowly. "Not at all."

“Today’s meal is blueberry barbeque chicken with a nice herb salad topped with goat cheese. Or I can get you some mushroom beef and barley soup.”

“The chicken sounds lovely.” Yuri sat down and he couldn’t help, but want to smile at the woman. “Just water to drink.”

“Sure. Need anything just raise a hand.” She stopped just before walking off. She stretched her mouth open sincerely and bowed her head a little. “Thanks for saving the world.”

“No problem.” It was still weird to be thanked for ridding the world of blastia. Not everyone was grateful and many were angered by the fact. But, sometimes people just appreciated Yuri’s deed even though he never took credit. The meal was great and he couldn’t help noticing the way the head chef looked at him. Curiosity. That was probably all it was.

When the woman who Yuri finally realized was the manager and owner, Sonia, came back she was smiling only now in a more clinical fashion. “That was a great meal. I’m glad you’re doing well.”

Sonia giggled. “Only because, some of our friends are farmers. They give us good deals for a free meal.” She looked at him in the eyes in a calculating way. “My daughter… Felinis she works at your guild. Is she doing well?”

Yuri processed that this was why Sonia had come to greet him specifically. “Fel? Yeah, she’s a hard worker.” Yuri might even say to an unhealthy extent.

“Don’t call her Fel.” Her mom snaps and then retains her composure. “I mean, Felinis hasn’t been okay with nicknames since her Dad left town.” Sonia tucked a hair behind her head. “I’m worried about her. She never holds a job long and she won’t visit unless she has no choice.”

Yuri nodded. “I get it. Don’t worry about it.” He beamed, but the woman’s worries didn’t fade. “Everyone takes care of our own in Brave Vesperia.”

“Thanks, and if you can would you convince her to visit. My husband and I will cook you anything you want. Wallan makes great cakes.”

Yuri raised a brow. He wasn’t above a free meal and this could be interesting. He could learn about Fel. With the fact that her parents lived at the most a few hours from the guildhall he had to wonder why she never visited. Or talked about them. Yuri was interested in seeing if he could unwrap the mystery of Fel. “Sure. Is desserts for dinner doable?”

“Absolutely.”

 

 


	29. Skits 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Hey a skit chapter felt in order. I hope you enjoy

_Fiend!_

Felinis: I won't let you get away with blackmailing me Judith!

Judith: Didn't I already?

Felinis: …Well yes… but not for long!

Judith: What do you plan on doing?

Felinis: Simple! I'm going to- wait a minute! You're trying to trick me.

Judith: I am?

Felinis: Yes, you wanted to trick me into revealing my plan, but I stopped myself from falling for your fiendish tricks.

* * *

_Birthday Boy_

Felinis: Karol, when's you're birthday?

Karol: Oh, my birthday? It's not for a month. Why?

Felinis: Not much. Just since you'll be turning thirteen it might be best for you to plan a party sooner than later.

Karol: I don't need a big party though. I'll just have the guild, Nan, Estelle and Rita here. It be much cooler to have my friends here than some big party.

Felinis: That's good to hear. I bet you'll all have fun together….

* * *

_Tastes part 1_

Judith: So, what do you like about Yuri?

Felinis: Please don't make me talk about this!

Judith: Is it his rouge personality?

Felinis: Please…

Judith: Maybe his gorgeous looks?

Felinis: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Judith: Or maybe his _sword_ skills are what impressed you?

Felinis: La-la-la. I'm not listening!

* * *

_Tastes part 2_

Judith: *huff* Felinis will you finally talk with me?

Felinis: That depends are you going to mention you-know-who?

Judith: Sure. I won't mention him in the slightest.

Felinis: Okay. What do you want to talk about?

Judith: What do you like the most in a guy?

Felinis: La-la-la, still not listening.

* * *

_Guy Time_

Yuri: What is it Karol?

Karol: I was thinking it be great if we could go out.

Yuri: Want me to go round up the girls?

Karol: No. I was hoping that we could all have a guy's night.

Yuri: What brought this on?

Karol: Well, it's just Nan was talking about how her friends go out on girl's nights all the time and…

Yuri: I get it. Don't worry! Raven and I will go all out and make an awesome guys night for us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: I made awesome shirt design that's a parody of totoro in the rain with Eizen and Edna  
> https://teechip.com/myne#id=0&c=131313&sid=fruit-of-the-loom-cotton-t&s=front


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Ferrrrrnnnnnnnsssss

"Felinis, I've been wondering, but why do you always stare at the window?" Judith asked as Felinis finished up her work for the day.

"I was thinking about ferns." It's not frantic like her usual lies. Felinis is genuinely thinking about the fern she'd like to place on the window. About how the sun will look dripping off its fine leaves. Or how ferns have a shallow root system and need a lot of water. And, how Yuri would look standing next to said Fern as the warm light makes his hair glow and his eyes glint like fine jewels. How the water looks as it drips from the water can onto his skin… and where back to weird mental porn.

"Ferns?" Judith is clearly amused by the statement. “I see. Nothing else?”

Felinis nods. “Yes. Nothing else.” Felinis pouts. “What do you think I usually think about?”

“Sex.”

Felinis’s eyes widen. “No! Never! I have no idea what you’re talking about. None what’s so ever.”

Judith snorts. “You really do suck at lying.”

Felinis deflates and pouts. “I know.” Felinis is good at denial which is built on just saying no or looking the other direction. Lying requires fabricating a truth and keeping track of that truth until it no longer becomes relevant. “It’s a problem. Now, if you’ll excuse me I need to avoid talking with you more by focusing on something completely different. Like going outside to sweep the porch.”

“If you want a fern just buy one.” Judith calls as Felinis walks out holding the broom in her hand.

Felinis waves her hand. “When the budget allows for a fern I will get a fern.” She sweeps away the leaves and dirt for a good ten minutes. She lets herself drift to fantasy and relax into the sweeping motions even though the porch is long clean.

“Felinis.”

If ducks give no fucks then who gives the clucks? These are the thoughts that haunt her.

“Felinis.”

But, who clucks for the fucks who fuck with the ducks? Wow, this is turning surprisingly deep.

“Felinis.”

“But clucks are the fucks of the ones who are ducks.”

“Felinis?” She jumps as a hand pokes her. Karol is looking at her in a perplexed manner. “Dinner’s ready… are you okay?”

Felinis nods. “Yes. Unfortunately, my mind takes me places that are dark and confusing.” She heads in to enjoy Yuri’s cooking. There’s been a lot of anger going about. Rumors of incompetence in Altosk and the Union have been occurring with the large amount of scandals. More muggings in alleyways and an increased rate of crime towards groups that are part of big named guilds.

Messages that once decoded as rebuses were now declaring the Union as incompetent and unfair. Men in the markets talked about how the bashing of Union shops had led to profiting for them. Felinis found it disgusting, but she also understood why they were so happy. The people not in guilds she grew up knowing always struggled a bit more than the others to get by.

She ate her food silently and watched like she usually did. Until, Raven mentioned something that grabbed her attention.

“You’ve been going out a lot lately Old Man.” Yuri said. “Any reason?”

Raven grins. “Oh yeah. I met this girl named Iris.” Felinis turns her head. He couldn’t mean her Iris? Right? Sure, Iris was into men like Raven, but they had a sworn pact never to go after a guild with anyone they worked for. That’s why Felinis wouldn’t join Altosk. Ace had been the rare exception to the rule. “She works as patrol officer for Altosk and she really digs me.”

“Wait, you mean there’s a girl who’s actually interested in you?” Yuri quips and Raven flings some potato in his face. “Real mature man. Real mature.”

“Ya just don’t get the handsome appeal of a _mature_ man.” Neither did Felinis. “But, she is a bit… weird.”

“Are we talking Judith weird or just weird, weird?” Karol says and Judith looks at him down with a composed glare. “It’s a compliment! I swear.”

“I know.” Judith relaxes and Karol sighs.

“I mean… do any of you guys know what fam or bae means?” Raven says. “She uses all this weird slang like fem. Is this a thing you guys do and I’ve never noticed it?”

To be fair Iris is a strange person who speaks in enough slang that Felinis occasionally must ask her what she’s saying. It only gets worse when Iris slips into speaking purely about Hypionian boy bands and Felinis is forced into just nodding and smiling.

Yuri just raises his brow. “I don’t think that’s a thing period."

Felinis could speak up, but as long as Raven doesn't mention her she can pretend they're strangers. After Iris decided it was a good idea to sneak into her last guild with the idea of digging up dirt on their boys Felinis wasn’t willing to risk it.

Karol chimes in. "I think I've heard people say stuff like that before. I don't know what it means but I've heard it."

Felinis has never been up to date on slang and still lacks understanding of what the word 'ratchet' meant when Iris said it years ago. Felinis was going to have some choice slang of her own to say to Iris. Many of them sounding outdated and silly.

Actually, Felinis didn’t tell Iris what Raven looked like… did this make it her fault? No because the moment Raven would have mentioned his occupation that should have been her sign to run away. But, then when was the last time Iris ran away from an opportunity to date a man of her standards?

Felinis's mind conjured every conceivable worst case scenario for this situation. The worst being the one where Iris follows through on their many jokes to kidnap a man and lock him in the basement. As much as Felinis would like to believe that wouldn't happen... Iris is a bit worse than her. But, at least there won't be a dead body to worry about.

“What do you think Felinis?” Raven says and she stiffens.

“I think those words are silly and not part of human speech- and this table is lovely. Have I ever mentioned that?”

“So you do know.” Judith says. “Is Iris a friend? Or are you just versed in street slang.”

“Just look at the wood graining. It’s so elegant.” Felinis stands up. “I just remembered that I have something to do that involves not being at this table. Dinner was lovely, goodbye.”

Once gone Raven just takes another bite. “So… do you think she’s embarrassed that I’m dating her friend or that she actually understands what those words mean?”

Yuri sips at his water. “Probably both.”

“Should we try to talk to her?” Karol asks.

Raven shakes his head. “Nah, Iris is coming over for dinner in a few nights anyway.”

Felinis wakes up the next morning to Judith pulling her up from her mountain of blankets. “I didn’t steal the soap!” she says in her sleep induced state. Felinis says a lot of things while half asleep and most rightfully make no sense. She looks at Judith ruefully as she always does when woken up. “What is it?”

“Get dressed and come with me.” Felinis curls back in the bed. “I’ll reveal all your little secrets.” Felinis sits up and begrudgingly dresses herself. Stupid BoobsMgee.

Felinis is dressed in anything, but fancy. It’s one of her most simple dresses and a pair of slacks and tall boots. She looks frumpy and sloppy which is also very foreign to everyone who’d see her. But, the hour is early. Early enough that Felinis knows that everyone is still asleep. She pushes her glasses up as she rubs the sleep from her eyes. “What are we doing?”

Judith just tells Felinis to follow and she does. The streets are cold today as fall is just about to touch Dahngrest. A mist that has drifted over a long way from the seas nips through their clothing. They don’t talk and the only sound between is the sound of their shoes on the cobble brick roads. Judith finally halts in front of a store and Felinis tries to run once she sees what it is.

She’s grabbed by the collar and kept in place like a disobedient dog as she protests. “You want a fern, right?”

Felinis continues to pull from the grip. “Yes, but I still don’t know which one!”

“Well today we’re getting you a nice fern and that’s final.”

“But-“

“No, buts.” Judith scolds and she pouts. “What’s even the logic in arguing about this?”

“You don’t understand!”

“I understand you’re being childish.”

Felinis looks down and is quiet as Judith pulls her inside the only just opening store. Judith places a pot in her hand and Felinis looks at like it’s a piece of dung. “That’s not a fern.”

“Of course, it’s a fern. It looks just like a fern.”

“No this is a flowering plat with pinnate leaves. There’s a huge difference.” Judith rolls her eyes and puts the pot back.

“Then you decide.” She says. “We’re not leaving here till we do.” Felinis decides to roll with the matter as she goes over to the ferns and looks them over.

Hmm. Hmmmm. “Hmmmmmm.”

Judith huffs in annoyance. “It’s a plant. Just pick one.”

The store owner nods in agreement. “Please. You’ve been here fifteen minutes and are blocking my window display.”

Felinis pressed her lips together in a pout. It’s not just a plant. Picking a fern is special! Each one carries a different energy and brings a different charisma to a space. “Shh. A plant is like any creature. Would you pick out any random animal to take them home?”

Judith clutched her chin and looked at the plants speculatively. “I guess not.” The owner nods understanding, but confused.

Felinis hadn’t wanted to go out and buy a fern, because she still wasn’t sure what she wanted. Felinis was someone who had to decide everything in advance otherwise everyone would get caught in her overthinking. If given the option of two slices of cake that looked exactly the same Felinis would still look them over for at least a half hour. Because, everything is different on a fundamental level. Choosing is an act of faith and Felinis never put faith in things that weren’t objective.

Facts didn’t require her opinion. And, Felinis found that her opinions and believes based on opinions led her to bad places. If she chose logic over emotion then she could have avoided so many things. It made her picky and cautious in simple things, but fell away for decisions that shattered her life.

Her heart starts to beat in an erratic fashion and her breathing is so tense. Felinis picks up the elephant ear fern with shaky hands and gives it to Judith. Felinis needs to get out of here. She needs away from choices and consequences. So she just picks the cheapest one.

Judith notes her tense posture, but says nothing as she pays for the plant. The two heading back in silence, but now with a pot in the Krytian’s arms.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: The funny thing is... the me who writes this story would probably get along well with Judith, but the character I write doesn't, because of the dynamic I give this Fel... It's kind of amusing how meta that is


	31. Chapter 31

Yuri looks at the windowsill and then to Fel who has her nose looking over papers. He really doubts that the woman is ever as busy as she looks. “Since when do we have a plant?”

“Since Judith forced me to get one.” She hisses and Yuri’s not sure why.

“Weren’t you always saying that you wanted one?” Yuri says as Fel pushes up her thick glasses.

She huffs. “Do you see that thing? It’s clearly the wrong fern.” Yuri can’t help wondering how one buys the wrong fern, because they all pretty much look alike. It’s a potted plant and that alone. But, then, Fel is someone who fusses over little details and requires order. “I only got it because it was the cheapest one in the store.” Then there’s the fact that she panics over prices and seems cautious to do anything for herself.

She wouldn’t even buy a glass of wine until Judy forced her to drink. Which leads Yuri to wondering how exactly he’s going to be able to get her to go home for a visit. He doubts she’d willingly follow him if Fel has apparently been avoiding that place for years. “It still looks nice.” He says as he leaves. Maybe Judy will have an idea on what to do.

She’s out practicing in the back and he calls out to her. “Hey, Judy,” the Krytian turns her head from beating up the post to him. “do you know the best way to get Fel to do something.”

“Well, normally, you just ask.” She remarks.

“I mean, stuff she won’t normally do.”

Judy’s eyebrow raises and her lips curl. “Oh? And, what would that be?”

“See, I ended up bumping into Fel’s folks and they were wondering if I could trick her into visiting.”

“Why would you need help getting her to visit?”

Yuri shrugs. “Apparently, she’s been avoiding the place the past couple of years.” He ponders over the matter a moment. “They seemed like nice people and I’d like to help them out.”

Judith nods. “Well, I’d ask first.” Well, duh. “And when that doesn’t work just tell her I said I'd reveal all her little secrets."

"Wait, so she thinks we don't know about the fact she guild hops like a rappig?" Yuri said with a raised brow.

"I think she's more embarrassed about the restraining order she has." Judith laughs.

"If it was against a nobleman the guy probably got what he deserved." He said crossing his arms. "I'm more worried about the arson."

Judith nods. "I've tried asking her about that, but Felinis either brushes it off or says she doesn't know."

Yuri snorts. "Well, that's bullshit."

When Felinis was little all the adults around her insisted she stay away from sharp objects and fire. It got to the point of being frustrating at times because she was actually capable of not getting hurt chopping vegetables. Her mother had that attitude, her father did, her step-father and mother both, and most importantly her teachers had. All through her apprenticeship nobody was willing to let her touch a blade. She always wondered if it came from the fact she was once an exceedingly bubbly person. Felinis never seemed like someone who could use a hammer.

It was why she was frustrated by the look Karol was giving her as she did her best to repair the broken table. "You sure I can't help?"

"Positive." She muttered as she held the nail in place and watched him wince. Felinis rolled her eyes and set hammer to the side. "Is it cause I'm a girl?"

Karol's face flushed in embarrassment. "What! No!"

"Good." And with that said, she slammed the hammer on the nail driving it into the new leg.

Karol looks over at the leg as she's working and hums with approval. "You're not half bad at this stuff."

"Believe it or not, I am capable of doing more than just cleaning and paperwork." Felinis says as she starts on the other broken leg.

"I never said that!" Karol interjected.

Felinis laughs. "It's okay. I know you don't think that." She huffs. Never stopped her parents. Felinis couldn't even peel potatoes until she moved out... They never let her do the laundry either. Her parents never let her do anything really... they never thought Felinis capable.

They still don't.

As she's hammering in the other leg Yuri walks in and her mind supplements a dirty joke about hammering wood.

"Hey, Fel." She gives him her attention. "You want go out to a restaurant tonight?"

"With everyone else?" She stutters.

"No, just us." Yuri says casually.

Her eyes widen. What fucked up fantasy was Felinis having now and did it involve tentacles? She swallowed and looked at him slowly. Felinis looked for signs that this was reality. That this wasn't her imagining. "Fel? Are you okay?"

She nods. "I don’t think I can!" Because, Felinis would fall apart on a date. She'd freeze up or start crying. “Sorry. I’m gonna be busy with cooking and all that.”

Karol interjects. “It’s okay, we can take care of that.” Shut up Karol.

“I refuse. It’s my night to cook!” She exclaims.

Yuri pouts and Felinis feels terrible. “That’s too bad. They have great desserts.”

He walks off and Felinis groans internally. “Okay… I’ll go.”

“Great, I’ll see you in an hour.” Yuri smiled as he walked off.

Felinis without looking with bug eyes lightly dropped the hammer on her thigh. "Okay... so I'm not dreaming."

Karol looked her over with worry. "Felinis... are you okay?"

"Yes... just confused." She walked off to go to her room for her… date? “Am I in wonderland?” She mutters softly as she looks at herself in the mirror. Judith walks by and notes the way Felinis is idly twirling her hair.

“Are you okay?” BoobsMgee asks.

Felinis blinks. “Did you do something?”

"What do you mean?" The Krytian says casually.

"There is no reason for Yuri to want hang out with me!" Felinis says. “We don’t talk. He has no reason to ask out a person his conversations never go past ‘hi how are you’. I’m a footnote in his day. I get along better with Repede than him.” Her face panics. “This is some terrible prank. Or worse!”

Judith sighs. “Why can’t you just accept that something good has happened?” Because, that’s not how Felinis is. Not anymore. Felinis walks away to leave and disappear for the night only to have Judith grab her wrists. “Oh, no, you don’t! I know you for some reason don’t believe in personal happiness, but I do.”

“That’s nice. Let me go.” Felinis smiles and tries to pry out.

“You’re going to that dinner even if I have to drag you by force.” Judith hisses. “Now, why don’t we make you look nice and pretty. You haven’t worn that outfit I bought you in a long time.”

Felinis cringes. “But… I can’t!”

“For fucks sakes Felinis it’s a pair of clothes not a snake.” Judith says throwing the clothing in her face. “You’re cute. Deal with it.”

“I don't know how to deal with this." Felinis plops on the bed clutching the top.

"Just don't over think it." That is impossible. At some point, she changes into the clothing and Judith ties up her hair. "There! Now go have fun." Felinis curls herself up in her jacket as she heads downstairs.

It was admittedly Yuri's fault for not being specific when he asked Fel to go out. The way she was nervously walking behind in an outfit picked by Judith and the nervous fidgeting of that bracelet it was clear she took this as a date. Which was sweet, but ultimately made him feel like shit.

"So where's this restaurant?" Fel mutters softly. As they reach the final block Felinis freezes up. Yuri takes a hand so she won't run and she stiffly moves her legs forward till they're standing at the door. "This place?" She laughs nervously. "The food here sucks I know a nice cafe a few blocks over we can go to."

Yuri opened the door and waited for her to enter. "After you." Fel smiles as she walks in to be taken into a hug.

"Felly!" A man says as he pulls her in tightly.

"Please don't call me that." Fel mutters before pulling out. “It’s good to see you too Wallan.” Sonia comes running up and too hugs her daughter. “Hi Mom.” Fel casts him a glare. “I take it we’ve all met.”

Yuri gives a sheepish grin. “I guess we have.”

“We made your favorite.” Sonia cheered

“The sweet mercy of death?” Fel chides.

They both laugh as they head toward a lone table. “Lamb, silly bunny.”

Fel stops and pulls Yuri to the side. “Excuse us a moment.” She escorts him towards the bathroom and shoves him behind the door. “Why?”

Yuri shrugs. “They asked me to help. Sorry I forced you to visit your loving parents.”

“My parents are crazy people!” Fel exclaims and looks behind her. “I need to get out while I still can.” She runs to the window and Yuri pulls her down.

“Whoa! Whoa! You can’t just run away from your parents like this.” Yuri says as fell tries to pull herself away. “What’s the big deal anyway?”

Fel sighs. “Have you ever had that one person who you swear it’s their job to tell you that you’re living your life in the worst way possible? Because that’s my folks.” Yuri thinks about Flynn and how he was before their journey and he gets an understanding. “Please don’t make me deal with them!”

Yuri sighs. “What do you even want me to do? If you leave now it’s only going to make things worse.” Fel just stares down at the ground bitterly. “It’s just one meal. You can do this.” He pats her back and she looks like she might vomit. “Come on Fel. We can’t keep your folks waiting.” Fel’s parents give them a strange look and Yuri rolls his eyes. What were they even thinking?

“So, Felinis,” her mother begins as she serves lambchops and roasted vegetables to them. “how’s work?”

Felinis smiles like she always does. “Good. I’d like to think I help out.”

“Yeah, Fel’s a hard worker.” Yuri praises while Felinis cringes inside for the inevitable.

“That’s good to hear. Your brother has been working hard too.” Here it comes. Yuri asks surprised at the sudden discovery. Sonia starts bragging to Yuri about Randy. She mentions his research and how impressive his survival of the destruction of Aspio was. Her mother then talks of how proud she is of her brother. It goes on for minutes and Felinis can’t bring herself to enjoy the lamb on her tongue. “I’ve been wondering, but when are you going to take up that offer I made to work at Fortune’s Market.”

Just like clockwork. “If you became an accountant there you’d be able to move up in the Union. I’m certain.” Wallen says. “A friend of mine in Capua Nor says he’d be happy to take you in as a worker in his gel business too.”

“I have a job.” Felinis whispers as she nibbles her food. Yuri changes the subject briefly by asking about what Felinis was like as a child. Her parents enthuse about traits she ever had. Brag about things she never did. The subject shifts to her friends and her parents mention Iris. Her parents had never found Iris worth of her time even though she was one of the few people who understood Felinis.

“And, I heard Ellie is getting married! Isn’t that wonderful?” Her mother says joyfully as Felinis tries not to vomit.

“Absolutely.”

Wallan thinks a moment. “Didn’t she hang out with that friend of yours? What was his name?”

Felinis shrugs with a laugh. “I forgot.” Liar. That name is so ingrained in her name it hurts.

“When are you finally going to introduce us to a nice boy?” Wallan asks. “I’ve been waiting years to complain about your boyfriend.”

Her mother joins in. “I know. I think a boy would be good for you. You’re not getting any younger.” Felinis nods silently and tries to shrink in her chair. “I think if you just changed how you dressed you might catch someone’s eye.” Her mother isn’t cruel. Felinis knows it’s just that she wants for her to be happy, but Felinis is fine where she is. “What ever happened to that one man? He seemed interested.”

Her mom stops to think. “What was his name… Zane?”

Felinis rolls her eyes. “Zagi and he was a psychopath.”

It is at this point that Yuri interrupts. “I’m sorry, but did you say you dated Zagi? Like crazy Leviathan’s Claw, Zagi?”

Felinis slams her head on the table. “We never dated. He and I just got along for a _very_ short time.”

“You dated Zagi?”

“We never dated! I was a dumb teenager and he seemed like a cool guy at the time!” Felinis yelled. “It is a time that I regret with every part of my soul.”

“You were into Zagi!”

“Somebody kill me!” But her parents just laugh.

Why does that make sense? Yuri watches as her parents go back to mentioning marriage and how Sonia would like to be a grandmother at some point. They ask if she’s eating well. Asking if she’s doing a good job keeping up with the cleaning. Wondering if she needs anything. They’re treating her like a kid and it makes him sick. It’s nothing like Flynn and him arguing over their opposing views. This is two monsters plucking her apart like a fresh kill.

“I know a few boys who’d love to go on a date with you. I can arrange one.” Wallen says and it’s the final straw.

Yuri pulls Fel up to his side. “That won’t be necessary! Fel and I have actually been dating for a while. We just wanted to keep it under wraps.” He grins and Fel nods. “Which is why I’d hate to say it, but we can’t stay. We have an important date elsewhere.” With that Yuri gets up and pulls her out the door and far from the restaurant before her parents can complain.

Once they’re far enough Yuri rubs his head apologetically. “I’m so sorry. I did not think it be that bad.”

Fel still looks cross. “Now you know why I don’t visit. It’s like that every time. Why aren’t you married? When are you going to get a real job? Why aren’t you more like Randy?”

“So… I feel like shit for doing that to you. Anything I can do besides never bring you back?”

“Buy me cake.” Fel snaps.

“Deal.” Yuri says. “Come one, I know a really good café we can go to.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: This is chapter I always wanted to write

They sat in the plush leather booth with two cups of coffee. Felinis looks down at her hands as they sit in silence.

"So you and Zagi?"

"We didn't date." She grits. "At the time, I was dealing with a lot of things and I had just joined Leviathan's Claw. Zagi was four years my senior and when you're thirteen that makes them cool by default. Plus, the guy wasn't _as_ crazy back then. I mean still a fucked-up fruit loop, but one that looked civil." She lets out a deep groan of embarrassment and fear. “I almost got killed by him while I was trying to learn sword fighting and after that, I asked Yeager if I could transfer to one of the unofficial sub branches.”

“So how’d you end with a restraining order?” Yuri asks leaning.

Felinis smacks her head. “You know about that too?”

“The whole guild does.”

“Fuck.” Was nothing in her life secret anymore? “I met Luke the son of a local Duke around here at the guild I transferred to. Luke annoyed the hell out of me and I got that restraining order after accidently… sort of on purpose… kicking him in the nuts.”

“What about the arson?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Felinis huffed. Why did everyone keep assuming she was responsible for a few guilds burning down. Yes, she’d been a member but that usually happened after she left or in a few cases when she had the day off. “I never set anything on fire. I never wanted to set anything on fire. I don’t even like matches.”

“Right. Sure.”

“I’m serious!” Felinis protests as she sips at her coffee.

“Fine. I believe you.” This whole thing is beyond awkward. Felinis feels his eyes judging her and this is sadly one of the longest conversations she’s had with the man. A waitress comes by to take their order and she stops Yuri.

“We’re going to want the strawberry dulce leche cake with two dark chocolate truffles to start. Afterwards bring us vanilla ice-cream with some low acidic fruits. Preferably mango, strawberries, no cherries, but definitely raspberries or blackberries.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes, I want a bit of whiskey in my coffee after this glass, but not the one after. He’ll have the same.” The waitress gives her an odd look but follows her order like a good worker. Yuri is giving her a look. “I have a huge sweet tooth so I spent a lot of time figuring out the best way to eat them.”

He smiles. “What’s the ideal way to eat chocolate cake?”

“That depends is it milk chocolate or dark chocolate?”

“Let’s say dark.”

“Well, with dark chocolate you want something to counter the bitterness so you want to pair it with something tart. I’d say add candied orange peels or straight orange. Or strawberry. As for what you drink with it I’d go with a black tea or earl gray straight if the cake is really rich, if not drink it with milk.”

“Cream puffs?”

“Peaches and soft cheese like brie. Drink it down with dark roast coffee.”

“Cheese cake?”

“You’ll want grapes and kiwi and it tastes best if you’ve had something with red meat beforehand. Pair it with a red merlot that has an emphasized hint of pepper to it.”

Yuri smiles. “You really do know your stuff. I’m surprised you don’t work in the cooking industry.”

“If I went into that field I’d be forced to spend more time with my parents, no thanks.”

“Is it all right if I ask something?”

Felinis sighs. “Go ahead. It seems like that’s what everyone’s doing tonight.”

“Why did you keep guild hopping?”

She doesn’t want to tell Yuri because that would be admitting to her guilt. To all the men she’s hopelessly fawned over. To the cowardice, she has towards him.

_Felinis had decided that she was going to tell him exactly how she felt for him. She had run down the street to meet him at the bridge like he’d promised her. He’s there smiling and standing tall and bright._

_“Hey!” He calls casually and as she reaches him the bell on her wrist tinkles softly. “What did you want to talk about?”_

_She swallowed hard. “Well… um it’s…”_

_He interrupts her with a smile. “Oh, I have something I wanted to tell you to!” He rubs his neck awkwardly and Felinis thinks it’s cute. “You see recently I started feeling this weird fluttering in my chest. At first I thought something was wrong with me, but every time our eyes meet my heart starts racing and stuff.” Her face turns red because at the time Felinis thought that he meant her. Why shouldn’t it be her? But it never was Felinis he was interested in. No, she was merely a person who existed to him. Not a friend but more of a leech. “So I want you to help me. I really like Elie!”_

_“Elie?” She mutters softly and he nods._

_“Yep. I want you to help me ask her out.” Felinis swallows and smiles and says she’ll help. All the courage she saved up to tell him is shriveled and gone. He asks her what girls like and Elie’s hobbies. He asks and asks._

_Eventually, all she hears are questions and he’s so happy when he finally starts hanging out with Elie as Felinis tags in back ringing her bell. But, he never hears her. Never did. So one day she asks from the distance as the two talk about Felinis like she doesn’t exists._

_“Do you actually like me?” Neither one hears her. Another question leaves her lips._

_“If I disappeared would you even notice?” Her legs are shaking as he mentions offhandedly that Felinis is just some girl. That he hangs out with her because they’re neighbors and only that. She asks another question._

_“Is this bracelet just some shallow courtesy gift?” They’re just laughing as he mentions how hopeless Felinis is with a sword. Of how she’s a ditz and a moron. How she’s nothing special to him._

_“If I told you ‘I love you’ what would you do?” She cries as she stares at the ground and he finally looks at her._

_“You say something Fel?” It’s the last straw. Because, he knows she hates being called that. It’s so impersonal that way. He knows that Felinis only let her father call her that and even then, rarely. He knows._

_“I said, If I told you ‘I love you’ what would you do?” There are tears rolling down her eyes and all he does is just stare at her. “Well, Mathias? What would you do?”_

_He sighs. “Look, Fel, you’re nice and all, but you’re being annoying. Would you just disappear.”_

_She grips her wrist bitterly and is trying to hold back at least some of the sobs that are pouring out. “Don’t you get it! I love you!”_

_“Yeah, and so what?” So what? So what? That’s all he thought of her. So what? He pets her head like she’s a dog or a baby and walks off with Elie. “Look, it’s cute that you think that, but I could care less. Bye.” It’s the last thing Mathias Quincey says to her and it’s the last time she willingly sees him. She avoids him and disappears like he wanted. If he cared then he’d try and find her at least once but he never did._

She’s crying into her coffee and embarrassment takes her. “I’m sorry it’s just every time I think about it I start crying.” There’s snot dripping from her nose and it’s so ugly and terrible, but she can’t stop. “Why? Why did he and Elie invite me to their stupid wedding?” Yuri is dumbfounded on what to do as Felinis tries to quietly cry at the restaurant. “Are they mocking me?”

The man gets up and for the second time today pulls her in close and hugs her in a comforting manner. “All right, tell me everything.” So she does and he holds her hand as she eats the cake and lets the sweetness bite at the pain. She says why she guild hops and why she doesn’t like leaving the town. Of why she wears that bracelet even if it brings her pain. She mentions the invite and Elie. She holds just barely on mentioning the stalking and once all the words are said they eat in pure comforting silence.

When they reach home and Felinis goes to bed she hears Judith asking about why Felinis was crying. She hears threats and then hushed murmurs. And then, she sleeps.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Sorry this is late folks. Last night I just dropped dead immediately after class.

Felinis is more than grateful that no one bothers her over the next few days. She's spent most of her free time packing in secret and wondering where she'll run away to.

The bracelet rings on her wrist and she bites her lip. She has always refused to think of his name like an evil she won't name... Mathias...

She thinks of the invite and wonders if it's an apology or his way asking for help. Felinis had always known in the back of her mind he was the kind of man to run away like her. But, if it was Elie who'd decided then the invite was because of her parents.

They loved Elie.

The day was an empty one. She did her work mindlessly and efficiently. As she manned the desk the bell on the front door rang and she turned to greet the person with a practiced smile. A fist collided with her jaw and she found herself knocked to the ground.

When Felinis opens her eyes a hand is shaking her side. Raven has a hand on her and is saying something. The words filter in quickly enough and Felinis nods when he says. “You okay?”

She sits up slowly feeling a throbbing pain in her skull as she looks around and gasps. “What happened?” The windows have been shattered and a broken pot lies on the ground. An eerie dread drawls into her as she imagines that the rest of the guildhall must be in a similar state.

“I was hoping you could tell me that.” Felinis recounts her memories and apologizes once she has nothing more to offer. Raven helps her to her feet and she looks around in horror at the state of everything. “They took all the gald and food in the house. The rest they trashed.”

“What about guild documents?”

“Left untouched.” Raven says and Felinis sighs in relief. She asks where everyone else is. Karol and Yuri have gone to Altosk and Judith is getting some help. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I was worried when I found ya.”

Felinis nods. “I can safely say this is a first for me.” She grabs a broom because at a time like this cleaning is all she’s good for. “I… I wish I could help more.”

Raven waves his hand. “It’s fine.” There’s an awkward silence as he helps her clean up their broken home. “This may sound weird but… I’m sorry for thinking you might be a spy or something.”

Felinis blinks in disbelief. The idea of her being in espionage is so ludicrous that she truly believes the man must be joking with her. “What?”

“It’s just, when I looked up your track record I got really worried after I saw ya had a lot ties with Leviathan’s Claw.” Raven laughs in embarrassment. “After what I’ve learned from Yuri and Iris though it all makes sense. Again sorry.”

Felinis huffs and blows a strand of brown hair from her eyes. “I’m gonna kill Iris.”

“So… why’d you date Zagi?” Raven says coyly.

She drops her broom on the ground. “I never dated Zagi!”

Raven rolls his eyes. “Right.” The man says drawing out the word as much as he can. Felinis ignores him and focuses on work till he asks. “So what’s with ya and guys with long black hair?”

Her head snaps and her eyes narrow. “How drunk did you get Iris before she started talking? Was it four or five Long Island Ice Teas?”

“Neither. It was six shots of whipped-cream vodka.” Iris was the kind of person who was happy and honest while drunk. She’d tell anyone anything as long as they asked. And, she’d probably say ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I love you’ eight times in a slurred manner. “Iris is a nice girl. I’m surprised ya don’t hang out more.”

“We’re both busy people and… Iris has a lot priorities.” Like stalking men and paying the rent. “Can we drop this subject? I mean, our guild was just attacked and this feels a little inappropriate.”

Raven shrugs. “Fine. Fine. I just figured ya might like the distraction.” It wasn’t the kind Felinis wanted. Her life was chaotic enough without people questioning her tastes. With her secret out, she felt naked and scared as they all looked at her with different mixtures of pity. “Ya know… I wish we hadn’t pried. I get wanting stuff like that secret.”

Felinis bobs her head as she hums and cleans. She tries to pretend everything is normal while the scenery crumbles. She couldn’t do anything in this time of crisis and she felt stupid.

Judith rather enjoyed the few times that she and Ba’ul were on their own. It was peaceful and rather pleasant. While company was fun and energetic there was something lovely in these private moments. She laughed as the Entelexeia told a rather funny joke.

The wind whipped through her antennas as they traveled onward. With everything going on she wanted to see if anywhere else problems of this nature were occurring. This wasn’t just simple property damage. People were getting hurt and mugged in day by groups in white masks. Judith wasn’t sure on what it meant, but it was something that needed checking out. They flew fast and onward towards Nordopolica for their first stop. Afterwards Judith would ask around in the major cities of Ilyccia.

Perhaps she could pay Rita a quick visit. The mage was always so busy in her research. Judith couldn’t help but thinking she’d enjoy the company. The Krytian flew for hours and hours until they finally reached the coliseum. Judith walks proudly through the city as she heads to see Natz.

She finds the man giving orders at the coliseum looking a little tired, but just like always. He greets her with a smile. “Hey, what brings you to my neck of the woods?”

Judith smiles back. “There’s been trouble in Zaphias lately and I wanted to see if you were in a similar boat.”

Natz face scrunches with concern. “Trouble? What kind of trouble?” The Krytian goes over what’s been afoot since they last met up and the man’s eyes narrow. “Sorry. Can’t say anything like that is happening here. But, then again, Palestralle is the only guild in this city. Dahngrest has a lot competing groups over there.”

“Since there’s been so much upheaval and change in the past year I guess this is inevitable.” Judith says as she heads on her way to the inn. She tries to think of what the strategy of these Blue Collars could be. Before they seemed to be painting themselves as vigilantes who stole for the good of the non-guild workers, but with this move they came off instead as terrorists. What good could be obtained from attacking and hurting civilians? As she lays back on the bed thinking a thought crosses Judith’s mind. What if the Blue Collars aren’t the ones behind the attack. Or at least that’s how it’s portrayed. If the group that harmed people is arrested with any of their assistance it could come off as the Blue Collars fighting against a terrorist group. They’d be the good guys. At least if they pulled the image off right.

Her eyes narrow. There’s no way they could pull of that and be convincing just from Dahngrest. Judith closes her eyes to rest. She has a lot of flying ahead of her.


	34. Skit 7

Tears

Judith: Yuri, why was Felinis crying? What did you do? If you hurt her I’m gonna kick your ass!

Yuri: Judy calm down! I can explain.

Judith: You better!

Yuri: (sigh) I made a mistake. Turns out her parents are pretty judgmental and when we got out she just sort of… She started crying. It was weird… and I sort of just listened to her.

Judith: …I see. Well as long as she’s fine.

 

Aftermath

Yuri: Um… Hi Fel...

Felinis: Oh- Yuri! Hi…

Yuri: So… uh…

Felinis: I’m sorry for yesterday!

Yuri: No! I’m sorry.

(an awkward silence for a minute)

Felinis: Can we- can we forget about what happened last night?

Yuri: Yes. Please. This is really awkward.

Felinis: Thanks

 

Mathias

Yuri: So this Mathias guy… is marrying your old best friend?

Felinis: Elie was never my best friend. She was just someone I knew.

Yuri: Right. But, this guy… just told you he didn’t want to date you. What’s the big deal?

Felinis: You wouldn't get it! He was my only real friend for years… I always thought he felt the same. I always wanted to stand by his side… You saved the world. You’re friends with the commandant. You’re incredible and strong! You have everything... I’ve never had anything but him… I can’t even use a sword!

Yuri: You’re right I don’t get it. If you’re going to value yourself based on one person that’s foolish. I don’t believe in giving up just because it’s easy.

 

What You Want

Karol: Hey Felinis, why are you so down?

Felinis: Oh… hi Karol it’s nothing. Just… thinking about stuff.

Karol: What kind of stuff?

Felinis: Mostly… what I should do with my life…

Karol: Well what do you want to do?

Felinis: Want? There’s still a lot I should do!

Karol: Yeah, but what do you want to do?

Felinis: What I want?

Karol: Yeah! Once you know that everything is easy. See ya later Felinis.

Felinis: But… I’m afraid of what I want…

 


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: A new chapter for all.

When Felinis was twelve her parents marriage crumbled into a violent divorce. They lost the house she'd grown up in and her father left town. She hadn't seen him since that time and when Felinis thinks back it males sense why the only thing she ever heard were small letters. The man had always been ungodly proud of his daughter.  

Everything she did was a feat and no matter what his little Feli could do no wrong.  

"Feli, Mathias is a good kid. You should be his friend." So she did. 

"Feli, that face of yours is too glum. Smile." So Felinis made sure her face was always set in a soft grin. 

"Feli, wants to be a great warrior. Right?" Felinis smiled widely and nodded, because Dad knew best... It had seemed fun and cool at the time, but Felinis wanted to say she'd like to be a writer. 

"Feli, you need to work on your comebacks. That wasn't witty enough." Felinis would nod   softly and try her best to think of better retorts. Her father always prided Felinis on her wits, but in truth Felinis preferred pure silliness in her jokes. But, she went along because he was her father and knew what was best. 

Mom would ask if Felinis would like to learn sewing and Dad would pull her away. It was strange to think but, by the time Felinis was thirteen she realized she had nothing for herself. 

Even her clothes were all picked by her mother. Mathias was the only thing that seemed like it was hers even if her Dad was the one who chose they should be friends. It was selfish but he felt like he was hers. It's a selfish thought. A dreadful thought. But, Felinis had spent her whole life with nothing that was her own... and if Mathias had stayed with her then she would have been happy. 

Felinis has nothing. Everything on her was a gift or picked by someone else. Iris had picked her as a friend... Mathias was something she could hold onto.  

But when he rejected her Felinis ran away to find something that was hers. She wanted a person to see her as something valuable... because if someone or something could give her life meaning that would mean the world. Even if it was a lie. Even if it was just physical. 

She just wanted to have one thing. So she chased dreams who could maybe fill that hole.  

Nobody in Brave Vesperia could grasp that. They were heroes and great people. Felinis was a nobody. So chasing Yuri was silly. 

Yuri would never want a girl who was nothing when he could everything. Then there was the fact of what Felinis would do once she had something... 

She groans into her bowl as Felinis sits with Iris at a restaurant they were fond of. "I can't believe you."  

Iris bites into her kimchi as Felinis continues to stare passionately into the table. Fuck everything. "You confess all that and you don't just say you want to fuck him?" 

Felinis continues to stare. "I refuse to think of this longer than I have to." 

Iris rolls her eyes and stirs her utensils. "Well  at least you're okay. I was worried when I heard you were attacked." 

Felinis sits up and rolls back her head. "Well, that seems like a waste." Iris shakes her head. 

"Bitch, just accept that I care." 

"Never!" 

Felinis glared furiously at Iris and took a bite of her Kobi beef. Iris is clearly not taking her seriously. "I refuse to acknowledge that you are one of my best friends in the entire universe." 

"That's cool." Iris says and they both laugh. "Seriously, you're not gonna tell him?" 

Felinis shakes her head adamantly. "No! No! No!" She waves her hands spastically to make the message even clearer despite looking stupid. "I can't tell him that the only reason I join guilds is to chase guys. I told him about Mathias and that's all that matters." 

"He probably knows." Well yeah, but the moment Felinis things will get awkward and weird. The guildhall is still a mess and while many of the people behind the attacks are in jail it still doesn't change the fact the attacks happened. Some of which were caught by the Blue Collars which was confusing. But, then Felinis figured it was a part of their complicated scheme.  

Seriously, compared to Alexei these guys weren't impressive in the least. The only reason Felinis can think they've been running loose all this time is because they were good at hiding. Judith had been gone a few days now and most of Felinis's time was spent on odd jobs and fixing the hall. Yuri had been outright pissed at the damages but it wasn't like any of them could do much. Bringing in a relationship at the moment would just be silly.  

She sips her tea slowly and Iris keeps eating. "It doesn't matter. He wouldn't like me." 

"Look, Raven-" 

"Ahhhh! We agreed at this table we would pretend you did not hook up with one of my coworkers!" Felinis hisses. 

"RIght. He's cute, but have you seen Shigure? That's my kind of man." 

"You mean the Rangestu guy who carries his cat?" Felinis could understand that reasoning but it seemed a little out of place. 

"No. Sohma." Welp, now it all tied into place. 

"You are so hopeless." 

"You say that. But have you seen him? It's a lot of sexy." They eat the rest of dinner a not quite awkwardness. There is something on Iris's mind and Felinis feels the question burning through the back of her head. "Felinis... is there anything you want out of life?" 

She chuckles. "What do you mean?" 

A sigh slips her lips. "I mean, don't you have anything more important you want to do with your life that chase around guys? You can't keep doing it forever and you'll run out of jobs you can run to." 

This wasn't something she wanted to hear. Iris would understand. Iris had something that was hers. Iris was strong and self made. Felinis... she had nothing. "Why not?" 

"Because you can't." Felinis wants to say her friend is wrong, but it's pointless. She knows the truth. But, what does Felinis want for herself? She's never thought about it. She did what was necessary and that was it. So what did she want? The question lingers there and she tries to think of anything she ever wanted for herself.  

"Iris... can you teach me how to use a sword?"      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Oh yeah. I recently started writing a crossover fic between Howl's Moving Castle and Vesperia. Go check it out.


	36. Chapter 36

"Fel, where you going?"

She stops and smiles shyly. "Uh, well, see... I'm going to see Iris..."

Yuri raised a brow. "Right. Well, have fun."

Felinis idly walks down to an open lot where kids play and where Iris waits with a wooden sword. "Yo, Fam, I thought I was going to have to wait forever."

"Sorry!" She runs and huffs a bit. She really needed to get in shape... but sitting was so nice and Felinis was lazy.

"Whatever. Just start stretching." Felinis removes her shoes and gets prepped for practice. Judith came back a day ago with word that apparently similar attacks had occurred in Torim and Nor Harbor and Halure. She hears whispers in the streets of people wondering when Altosk is going to finally crush these terrorists. Or how this would have never happened under the Don’s rule. It stands that everyone is on edge over the matter since the people they caught refuse to divulge any information. Felinis wasn’t too privy on the details but she figured for the sake of her guild she needed to know how to defend herself.

Iris yelled at her form and pointed out how her momentum was lacking all while she panted. Please sweet death, take her from the hell that is physical activity to the place where couches lie and where movement is but a dream! “I think we’re good. Not bad you’re getting better. Maybe one day you’ll finally manage that push-up.”

“Shut up! Push-ups are for people who don’t sporadically slide while doing them.” Felinis huffs putting her heels back on. She hadn’t owned flats in ages.

“Uh-huh. Whatever floats your boat.” Felinis cringes and does her best to wipe the sweat from her body. Seriously, why do people work out when they know they’ll just end up dirty. “I’m surprised you asked me to help. I mean, normally every time I try to help we end up strangling each other.”

“I can’t ask anyone at the guild. I’ll seem pathetic.”

Iris rolls her eyes. “They saved the world. I think they expect you to be below their level.”

“That’s not the point!”

“Then what is the point?”

Felinis bites her lip and digs her foot in the ground. “If I asked I’d just be causing them trouble when they’re already so busy. Yuri’s going to Nordopolica for a monster hunting job for a few days and Judith is always flying around these lately.” Felinis was going to be busy with side jobs too while they did something about their trashed home… and rolling on Yuri’s bed fantasizing about him… Naked and tied up… with whip-cream all over his abs.

“What about Raven or Karol?”

“No.”

“But why not? Is it because I’m fucking Raven?” A little, not gonna lie. It still bothers her that her best friend is dating a coworker. “It’s just sex.” Felinis is well aware of that! But the fact stood that Yuri was always saying how nice it was to have the room to himself. So Felinis had a very clear map of when they were meeting up.

“I don’t get you. How do you date that?”

“He’s hot and has scruff. That’s all I need.”

“Ew.” They talk and laugh a bit before Felinis heads back to find that only Judith is around. “Where are the boys?”

“They said they wanted a guy’s night.”

“Karol’s twelve… what are they even gonna do?” The Krytian shrugs and Felinis decides to make a sandwich. She stops short of biting and set the sandwich down as Judith looks at her.

“What?”

“This is usually the point where you drag me off to do something I’d refuse.”

Judith just shrugs. “I’m not feeling it tonight.”

“Oh, come on! This is like our thing! You torture me and I whine for an hour.”

She shakes her head. “Nah. Another time.”

Felinis should be relieved. She hates being dragged into awkward situations with Judith and always finding herself outside of her comfort zone. Only… she really does think it’s fun… and Felinis always finds herself sort of enjoying whatever it is they do. “What if we have a girl’s night in!”

Judith raises a brow. “Just the two of us?” Felinis nods. “Alright. What do you want to do?”

Felinis blinks because she isn’t sure. What do people do for fun? “Um… how bout we play cards for now and figure it out from there.” A smile traces the Krytian’s lips and takes a bite out of Felinis’s sandwich. “Hey! My sandwich!”

While the girls enjoyed their night of peace the boys were out at a… no, there’s no other way to put it… strip club. Karol eagerly enjoying the sights while the two adults sat back and enjoyed the view. They had a silent rule of never talking about where it was they went on the few guy’s nights they had. Mostly because, if Estelle ever found out she might kill them for it.

“So, your girlfriend isn’t going to mind you coming over here Old Man?” Yuri jokes as Raven cops a feel of one of the waitress who giggles a bit before going on.

“Pfft. Iris? No way. We’re aren’t serious or anything.” He waves his hand as he takes in his scotch on the rocks. “I think Karol’s the one who’d have troubles.”

The young guild boss tenses and looks back on them. “What-what do you mean?”

Yuri’s smile pulls into that impish grin of his. “Well, just imagine if Nan knew you were off looking at other girls. She’d think you were some kind of deviant.”

“Just imagine that poor little lady’s heart when she finds out that sweet Karol is a no good pervert!” Raven gasps dramatically.

“I’m not anything like a creepy pervert like you, Raven.” Karol yells pointing his finger. “I… just needed the research.”

“Research?”

Karol’s face is flushed pure red. “Y-yeah, research so I can understand women like a proper guildsman!”

Yuri can’t hold back his laughter anymore and starts howling in his chair and Raven follows. “You’re right! That is the way of the proper guildsman!”

“Sure is!” Raven spills his drink a little and calms down but is still spurting little gasps of laughter. “You’re a real man kid.” Karol smiles and proudly sips his juice. Yuri notes one of the girls smiling at him with giggling eyes and he waves back. The best perk about saving the world is the girls. Sure, Yuri is sexy, but back in Zaphias where everyone had grown up with him or knew him as a trouble maker it just wasn’t fun to date. Then there were all the times Yuri and Flynn got into fights because they’d try to date the same girl. After a while, they both just kind of stopped bothering.

“Hey, guys, I was wondering, but what would be a good second date for me and Nan?”

Yuri blinks because he has genuinely no idea. He’s never dated and not really wanted to. Raven seems just as baffled. “I don’t know… Old Man?”

Raven shrugs. “I haven’t been in a serious relationship since I was a kid. I wouldn’t know what ta tell ya.”

Karol raises a brow. “Really? Neither of you know anything? How can you guys claim to be experts with girls if you don’t know how to date?”

“Hey, flirting is a lot different than dating.” Raven says winking at the stripper on the pole. “I play for the short game. Not the long haul.”

“What’s your excuse, Yuri?”

“I haven’t wanted to.”

“I thought ya and Judith had a thing going?”

Yuri shakes his head. “Nah. I mean we thought about and decided not to.”

“What about that date you went on with Felinis?” Karol asks.

“That wasn’t a date.” Yuri says idly sipping his drink. “I feel bad for making her think it was one for a second though.” He casually explains the night excluding the private things that Fel told him. “Sorry Karol. Looks like we’re broken adults.”

“Ya just gonna walk the labyrinth of love blind.” Raven cheers.

Karol is looking at him quizzically. “Why don’t you go on a real date with Felinis then? To make up for teasing her?”

“Because, I don’t want to date Fel.” Sure, she was nice, but Yuri looked at her saw a kid that needed looking out for.

“That’s cold, man.” Raven says shaking his head. “You know that girl is crushing on ya bad?”

Yuri nods. Yeah, he figured that out after a few months. “Which is why it be worse to string her along on a pity date.” He sighs and downs the last of his drink. “Let’s get off this topic and get our party on!”

Raven cheers. “Hell, yeah! Let’s head down River Street!”


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Felinis: Hi long time no see... That upload once a month thing I planned for when I got back to school did not pan out well. I forgot October was... October. At SCAD that means midterms followed by final projects. Plus, this quarter has been killer.

Why does it always seem that Felinis finds herself cleaning? She doesn't even like cleaning, but she always does it simply because everyone says she's good at it. Her parents sent a message via every farmer they knew demanding that she marry Yuri because he was a good catch. The lie was exhausting. The one relief was that Felinis’s parents did have a strange respect for her independence. They let her be most times, because maybe they were ashamed of Felinis or perhaps they simply didn't want to confront the problems between them.

Either way she knew her parents saw a failure.

Subconsciously she drifts into a fighting stance with her broom and starts swinging it like a sword before quickly returning to work. No need for anyone to see Felinis look like a crazy person. The Blue Collars were on the rise though. They'd taken to publicly throwing food into the streets like rich kings or generous thieves in fairy tales. It made her wonder where these villains got there supplies. The bell ringed on the front of the door and Felinis tightened her grip on the broom but still smiled.

"Welcome to Brave Vesperia. How may I help?"

The woman in front of her looked about curiously before acknowledging her. "I was looking for the leader, one Karol Capel."

"Of course, let me get him." Then Felinis remembered that she wasn't exactly sure where Karol was. If she spent time looking for the young boss that meant leaving her post. Leaving her post meant the customer would not have anyone to help them. Not having any one to help them meant the customer would get angry. If the customer got angry, then they could start trashing the guild hall. If the guild hall got trashed again it would cost even more money in repairs. If the repairs were too high, then they wouldn't be able to afford food. If they couldn't afford they'd starve.

And then resort to cannibalism.

Leaving desk = cannibalism.

Good to know. Although, that might be a bit extreme? Then she did the math again and it added up.

Yeah, she was staying put. When she thought of eating Yuri that wasn't exactly what she meant. The customer was looking at Felinis like she was crazy. "Oh, I'm sorry! I apologize, but Mr. Capel is out."

"Then is Yuri here?"

Felinis shrugs. “I’ll ask.” She steps backs and bangs on the wall. “Yuri get your ass down here!” Some cherry haired tart, who probably works as a stripper in Felinis’s ideal world, is here. Beautiful people can fuck off! Felinis is an unfortunate result of cuteness.

She eventually hears a muffled. “Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.” When Yuri arrives at the bottom of the stares a smile that has Felinis’s blood boiling crosses his lips. “Well, of all people.”

“Long time no see.”

Felinis was just going to assume this was someone important or someone Brave Vesperia met on their adventure. Frankly she just stopped giving a shit when it came to asking by this point. “Is this one of those ‘hey, Fel mind giving us some privacy?’ moments? Or…”

The woman cupped her chin and Felinis swore there were bedroom eyes afoot. Oh, fuck this shit. If Felinis wanted to watch people flirt with Yuri she’d go to a bar. “Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just here looking for skilled workers.” They weren’t that kind of guild! But, if Yuri were… No, wait, Karol has entered the fantasy. Abort mission! Really, why did all her fantasies go awry in some way or form like that? It was just wrong on so many levels.

“And what would you have in mind?”

“An important shipment of mine needs transporting. With the nature of its contents and the recent problems I feel I need more protection. And like always I’ll pay you well.”

Felinis narrowed her eyes because she wondered just how well this lady was talking. She coughed, and the woman turned her eyes toward Felinis. “The standard commission rate for the transportation of goods is ten to twenty percent of the total market value of the merchandise. With that in mind would you be able to give me a thirteen percent rough estimate.”

“Well aren’t you clever.” The woman crossed her arms. “A rough estimate for this would be seven thousand.”

Yuri whistled. “What are we transporting?”

“Food supplies and gels to Mantaic. It sells higher over there because of the desert climate so it’s very profitable.”

“What about the people who can’t afford it?” Felinis slipped and suddenly felt embarrassed for potentially offending a powerful customer.

“Most of this is actually relief payed by the empire. Only a small portion will ever make it to market and that’s why I’m even more concerned about its arrival.” Right, they would have pay back the money in full along with suffer the loss in profits.

Yuri just shrugged. “No need to fear. Brave Vesperia will make sure to keep things in line.”

“Excellent. We can work out the fine details later. I happen to have another meeting to get to.” She held her hand to Felinis and she gingerly shook. “Pleasure meeting you Miss…”

“Felinis, Felinis Feloney.”

“Mary Kaufman.” Felinis let her eyes go wide. This was the woman who at one point could have been her boss. “I hope to see you around, Yuri Lowell. My door is always open.”

“I’ll consider it.” Felinis might kill something. Or maybe cannibalism had its merits after all… Jeez, it’s not like she has anything to gain being jealous. It’s not like Yuri liked her and really, she didn’t love him. She admired him. Thought he was beautiful and such. Love was a long stretch that Felinis still doesn’t believe in. When Kaufman left Felinis found Yuri was snickering at her. “No offense, but jealousy is not good on you.”

“I wasn’t aware any one could make jealousy look good.” She recomposed herself and focused on work. She’d meet with Iris in a few hours for some more training and put any bad thoughts behind her.

“Why do you wear that?”

Felinis blinked at noticed him point at the bracelet on her wrist. “Why do you wear a broken blastia on yours?”

“Touché.” Felinis assumes he’s dropped the subject when Yuri surprises her. “It’s a memento from someone I care about.”

“I… I wear it as a reminder.” Felinis clutched the broom in her hands tightly. “That I can’t go back.”

“To him?”

“To anything.”

“Well, that’s bullshit.”

“I knew you wouldn’t get it.”

“Then explain why you’re afraid of guy who dumped you when you were a kid and how that ruined your life. Because you’ve explained it twice and I still don’t get it.”

Felinis bubbled with bits of rage. “You wouldn’t understand! I have nothing! Have had nothing! Mathias was the only friend I had for the longest time and he was just there to pity me. I’m not strong enough to become an adventurer and fight monsters all over the world. I’m only good at desk work and being babied. And he confirmed it… I’m not like you guys. I’m not a hero or brave. I’m just that guy who mans the desk.”

Yuri just sighs at her. Maybe it’s pity or disappointment. Maybe he really doesn’t get the idea. Felinis wouldn’t blame him for any of that. “If you hate all that stuff you should just fix it.” Easier said than done. “There’s nothing wrong with being ordinary. Not everyone can or should be a hero.”

But, Felinis wants to be a hero. She wants to explore the world. She wants to see what the world has to offer. She’s just afraid… Of what? Everything and then some. One more month and she should leave… get a new job. Maybe even leave Dahngrest for good. She could get on a ship and head to Nordopolica or maybe Halure. She’s always wanted to see it and she could visit her brother. In a sad twist of irony, he might be the only one who could understand. Even just a little.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shrugs

 

Felinis was waiting.

She sat in the guild manning the desk and doing what she could as she hid away her paycheck and watched the saving pile on. She wasn’t going to leave without at least a decent amount of cash. That just screamed of a disaster waiting to happen.

It wasn’t much in the end.

The world seemed to be weighing down on her more than usual with the hands of kindness stretched from her guild members that just left her. She stood at the door and finally she decided… she was done with this. She was sick of the farce she’d been playing and let the walls of the building fade away and the artifice of a world that she really didn’t belong in disappear. The Felinis of the story peeled away with her pretty pastels and the jingling bracelet.

It’s still the same face of a woman with brown eyes and thick lenses only she seems even more haggard and tired by the world. She no longer resembles a child at a glance and she never will again because the world outside this story has torn her apart so much that her eyes which always looked without sleep from a genetic disorder now look without life at a quick glance.

Her dress is nice because Felinis, the real Felinis, can’t stand to look informal.

“I’m not much up for doing any of this anymore.” She sighed and sat in the empty nothing. “I got no jokes left in me! No spark! No nothing!”

Felinis heard the clomp of footsteps behind her and sighed as she looks at the cast of characters she tried to insert a version of herself in. So she was aiming for meta?

Fine. Fel could do meta.  

“Um, what’s going on here?” Karol asked looking around in confusion.

Fel stood up brushing her nice black and red polka dotted summer dress. “The show’s over folks! You can go home now and never deal with me again!”

“But why? Felinis, what’s going on?”

What was going on… “I’m just so sick of it.” She stopped them before they could ask. “Did you know that I only write when I’m sad or stressed? I never just write because I’m happy and I want to write. No, I have to be scarred about not being able to go to college because my grade dropped below a B+ in a class or some sort of social anxiety about dealing with people. I can’t be happy in order to do anything and I can’t change that because at the end of the day I’m a comedian to people.

I’m a godman clown who tells all the jokes that make everyone laugh with some outrageous gesture or saying. I have to be the court jester because at the end of the day unless I’m making you laugh I have nothing worth saying. I wrote a story on a whim to tell jokes and to improve my speed from 1k an hour to 2k an hour. That’s right every last chapter in this story I wrote in an hour. That’s why there’s so many goddamn spelling mistakes…”

“And you know what… I am sick of not being happy. I want to be happy, but I don’t know what that means because I can’t describe happiness. I have never really been happy because if I was I think I could say what it is. I know what laughter feels like. I know what it’s like to enjoy the company of others. I know what it means to feel empathy towards another’s achievement but I don’t know happiness.”

“And unlike Felinis, while I had such an unhappy childhood, and I mean unhappy, I have had so much happiness thrust my way since those times. I have parents who love and support me so much it suffocates me. My mom wants nothing more than to see me succeed in my future and my stepdad has done everything to teach me lessons about the world. I have friends who are all smart and talented people who I can laugh with and feel content when I’m around them.

“But they don’t need me anymore and they’re moving on with their lives. I’m stuck here… Just looking for happiness when I know that it’s a waste to do so. I know what I find fun and writing is fun when I get to write violence and anger and all those emotions that nobody wants to say. It’s fund when you put in jokes and you mock and prod the basis of this society.”

“But, I don’t like writing romance and I don’t like writing fluff. I don’t even like writing… because it’s my lazy way of saying I don’t want to make a comic or an animation because that’s effort. And for some goddamn fucking reason I thought I could find some zen self help in a fucking crackfic made just to say the words ‘giant fucking sky whale’.”

A final sigh slipped from her lips and she was probably crying. She probably should just delete this chapter and start over. Get to the part where Felinis runs away and gets eaten by an Eggbear five steps before reaching Halure.

She’s not gonna because frankly she’s way too lazy to rewrite an entire chapter even if it’s mostly one giant monologue.

“What does this have to do with us?” It’s Yuri who asks crossing his arms.

“I look up to you guys.” Fel chuckles. “That’s really it. I look at characters like you and think that it’s beautiful that you’ve found where your happiness can be found.”

“You know that you’ll be happy at some point.” Judith states as Fel starts walking toward the big red curtain she conjured. “Even if you haven’t recognized your probably happy.”

“Probably… but the funny thing about feeling happiness is that it’s so brief you’ll never remember it. So you hold onto the stories and the places but that sentiment can destroy you more than even hunting down happiness. You have to let that die.”

“So, that mean ya gonna kill us or forget us entirely.” Raven says somberly as Fel twirls the gold cord on the curtains. “Just throw us out because we’ve brought you down.”

“But, we had good times together! I don’t want this to all just end.” Karol said running up to just give her a hug. “I like you a lot Felinis.”

“But, that’s the thing,” She pulled him away gently and gave a peck on the cheek, “You only know the jester like everyone else. I’m not gonna throw you away and forget you. You’re too much an important part of my life to do that yet if ever.”

“I had fun playing around with you guys. Bye.”

Fel gave the cord a yank and the curtain fell softly over the area and the story entered a pure internal monologue. One without any characters but one where she felt maybe something close to happiness. More a satisfaction.

One more chapter. An epilogue to set it down the right path. One final joke for the road on this story. Boy was this a depressing chapter. Hope nobody reads too much into what is an incredibly forced and dishonest way to cheat out writing a proper ending and conclusion for the sole sake of just wanting to be done with this.

But hey, more than two people have remarked about not realizing Raven knew Yuri’s father in my fanfic Lowell and also missed the foreshadowed plot twist so hey, anything is game.


End file.
